grief sensitivity?

Question

I need something important for my research from a colleague. They recently suffered the loss of a parent. What I need has nothing to do with their research, but before the loss, they were helping me as a favor. Now, I don't want to seem selfish, but I would like to express urgency while still remaining empathetic. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Do NOT express urgency, that's pushy.
Meet with the person and let them know what your schedule is. Ask them to tell YOU whether they can continue to assist you as before. If they cannot commit or appear to be falling being, be gracious enough to thank them for all they have done when retrieving the partially-finished work from them. You need not yank it away from them, but allow them to save face if your need exceeds their ability to contribute. Assure the person that you will consider them in the future if the occasion arises.

Answer 2

That is a tough one. You did not say exactly how long, or if they are back to work or not. Have you already offered your condolences? If so, and they are back at work, I would say just ask them for help. They probably will appreciate the opportunity to get their mind of their sorrow.
If they are not handling it well though, I would say that you should try to find someone else who can help you.
Everyone handles these things differently. some people dive back into work, some people need more time to absorb and deal with the loss.
Go with your gut.
I give you credit for being concerned enough to ask this question, that is sensitive.

Answer 3

Yes, I have a suggestion. Leave your colleague to his or her grief, and find another way to do your research. He or she was helping you as a favor. Now, that person needs a favor from you. Some kind words of condolences, and no mention of the research.