Why do females talk down about eachother? Aren't we all suppose to stick together?

Question

I mean guys never do it. Women are constantley judging and jealous of others. Is it because we're always going to be in compotition with one another? I'm one to admit when my guy is talking to a really pretty girl, I'll pick out something on her to make her appear less attractive. My new years resolution has been to compliment other females and accept that someone will always be prettier, skinner and richer than you. Why can't the rest of us do it?

Answer 1

We seem to be trained that way by society.

Guys do talk about each other. I think that is is just less catty.

When I worked in a school, it was very easy to discipline boys. They were pretty up front with their aggression. It was visible to us and we had wonderful non bullying techniques. Smile, it is cute to watch a few boys who three minutes ago trying to kill each other, united to work it out together so they can go play again.

But girls!

Girls are subtle in their bullying. It is nothing overt. It is "cutting", gossip, usually very crafty and hard to discern. It takes a very good eye to see this before the victim cries. Sometimes if it is not caught it can go on for a very long time. Funny, generally this behaviour I found begins in Grade 1 but does not really blossom until grades 5 to 7 when the girls become more sophisticated. There is the usual slander, comments about dress, and just avoidance (cutting). I HATED dealing with these situations because once hormones kick in, it can be nasty.

I do not know why this is but I saw it so often over my 14 years in the school system. This is where it begins. Once they are into the higher grades, where there are cliques, it gets worse. Now they divide into groups, popular girls, goth girls, sports girls, etc. It is not the same for all girls. I had one who hung with boys and never got into it at all. Both daughters were very popular and good students. The younger was a posh princess type and she bought into cattiness with a passion. I was sometimes disgusted and called her on it. It is just the nature of the child I think.

Women are taught through the media that there are ideals of beauty to be striven for. They compete on looks. They compete for boys. They compete for popularity. What blows me away is they usually blame the other woman if the MAN is unfaithful. As if he was the victim.

I was one of the bottom feeders in high school. Dorky and overweight. I never developed that cattiness because I was such a loner. I am heterosexual but I have always admired a beautiful woman or clothing, and I have always thought a compliment is the perfect ice breaker. Heck, how hard is it to say a few nice words to someone?

Anyhow, I love your attitude. Pass it around lots. Women need to learn that we are not the enemy, we are sisters on the planet. However this nastiness is present in every culture.

I like your attitude. All we can do is start with ourselves and hope the ripple effect works!

Answer 2

I agree 100%. Why when a man cheats do we get so mad at the other woman. You should kick the guys a** because hes the dog. I agree we should stick together. We have so much stress and sh** to put up with. Men, kids, looking good all the damn time. And yet if another girl looks better than us we don't evn talk to them and hate them. I do the same darn thing. But that is what women do. I have accepted that someone will always be prettier, skinner and richer than me...

Answer 3

You need to hang around with different people. I know plenty of guys who are very competitive and judgmental of each other, and would think nothing of putting another guy to make themselves look better, so it's a personality thing, not a gender thing.
My female friends and I are very loving and supportive of each other - we constantly compliment each other, and encourage each other even when we in "competition" with each other (flirting with guys at a bar, for example). But we'll never try to steal another's guy or try to out-flirt her once she's staked a claim or called dibs. (This is pretty rare, since we usually are looking for different types of guys anyway).

I think it has a lot to do with self-confidence. If you don't believe you are very pretty or desirable, then you won't believe that HE thinks so either, and you'll be worried that he might find some other girl to be more desirable. So you'll put her down to keep yourself on top, but it still doesn't solve the core problem.

My friends and I have heard of this sort of problem, but we've always found it unfathomable, because we have been so supportive of each other other many years that our self-confidence is strong and we don't need constant validation to know we're pretty and smart and sweet and all that good stuff. If a guy doesn't like one of us, it's more likely a sign of HIS poor taste than our inherent inferiority. And if he chooses someone else, oh well, we'll find someone else better suited to us.

Answer 4

If you think guys don't talk about each other, you are greatly misled. It is a human characteristic.
I think your resolve to be more accepting is a good one, but stop worrying about what everyone else does, you have no control over that and it is a waste of your time, not to mention irritating to others.

Answer 5

In my adventure, women human beings are very aggressive. adult males are too, yet in many situations in corporation and activities. women human beings tend to be aggressive about adult males. women human beings oftentimes seem to to wade through from "the grass is continually greener on the section: syndrome too. no remember what they have at homestead, they are continually searching at their pals' adult males. until eventually they the way in which to adhere at the same time and artwork at the same time, we are able to by no potential see a lady contained in the suited factor of elected authorities.

Answer 6

Right on Kari. We need to support each other. I love your attitude and your New Year's resolution.

Answer 7

well it is because it is trhe call of the wild we have to get our hands on a man and have him do what we say and the girls who have guys have worked so hard for that and they want to keep it that way!!



good job on the resolution though!!!

Answer 8

It called "ENVY" and everybody has it inside of them because we want what everybody else has so we "ENVY" that person no matter if your a man or women.

Answer 9

i totally agree with you. i've been having those same problems with my friends. they always talk about this one specific girl. she is also my friend.