My boyfriend is having trouble w his baby's mom, she wants more money, child support is not enough for her she

Question

calls and screams and curses, I've been with him for over a year, he has been divroced from his first wife for 8 years and has a son in college, my guy is a hard worker and reserved and wants nothing to do with this woman but he has to because of the baby, she is threatening with taking him to court again, she has 3 other kids from other men, my guy is the only one paying because he has a steady job. he works as a law enforcer, so he can not do much because he can lose his job, he has other bills to pay, her eldest sons (17 & 19) are drop outs and have crim records, so he tries not to go becuase they instigate, so if he goes to visit the child (14 months) poor child, but he regrets getting involved with her..but thats life, I try to endure it but after talking to her he gets so upset, he'll be going to court 4 visitations, she doesn't let him take the baby out of the house when he visits, she threatens w restraining orders and w/draws them, she's psycho! Everything is $$ what? Help..

Answer 1

hold on to him if you really love him.

Answer 2

Well...is he paying the amount of money each month that the court told him to pay for child support? If he is, then there is nothing she can do. If he is just giving her $$ out of the kindness of his heart, then she really can take him to court. The good thing about child support is that they will look at the amt of money he makes and will have him pay a certain percentage of that. So that way he can afford it. But if he is already paying, I wouldn't worry about it too much. He might want to consider some sort of restraining order on her to make her stop calling...

Answer 3

Let her threaten whatever she wants. She doesn't get to dictate the amount of child support. He is obligated to do only what the current court order says and he doesn't owe her for supporting her other children. The bigger problem is that she will be siphoning the support he gives to her for his child to support her other children from the other men.

Good for him to haul her butt into court and modify the court order for more visitation rights. I'd even go so far as to try to get the child from her if he wants the baby. It doesn't sound like she has what it takes to raise the baby. Despite the preference the court system gives to the mother for child custody, it doesn't necessarily mean that is always how it must be.

Answer 4

"he has other bills to pay" Too bad, if he isn't paying what he should be paying in child support (a percentage of his income) then the ex has a right to ask for more money. His bills don't count. The court is only interested in how much he pays in child support. You need to butt out because it doesn't concern you.

Answer 5

even if shes a complete pig, and her other children are criminals, that has nothing to do with the baby.

first of all, she cant withhold him from taking the baby for visitation. good that he does take her to court for it. i would mention to the court about her threats, that way, its on record.

actually, with the way all of her other kids turned out, he has a good chance of winning custody. her track record speaks for itself. get a WOMAN attorney for this battle (if he choses).

after the court order, he could write his Attorney General and Governor about her not letting him leave with the baby.dont bother calling, phone calls are useless. mail ends up piling up, so i would advise FAXING it. they'll call or write you back, because no one likes someones visitation being mess'd with. they will send the cops to her door for violation of a court order.

yup, i've seen 'em locked up for denying visitation.

but you know how much kids cost. not all women act or are like that, but lets break down some examples:

you pay what? 400? 600? 900?

ok, lets see...
rent; 1000
electric 300
food 400-600
diapers 75-150 per month (fluctuates when baby is sick or teething)
heat 300
phone/cable 100
auto; (for doctors, dentists, take to school when they miss the bus, pick up when sick, pick up medicines, get food) 200
clothing/shoes/boots 200-400 every 2 to 3 months (seasonal and they grow)

that doesnt even include dental, doctors, glasses, daycare, hair cuts, school supplies, school lunches, school projects, class trips, class pictures, over the counter medicines, prescriptions, laundry det, dish det, cleaners, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, acne medicine, pads, bras, christmas, easter, halloween, tooth fairy, birthdays, etc. and sooo much more.

personally, in my house, my kids go through 1 gallon of milk a day. thats $3.50x30... almost $100 a month in just milk.

thats right, JUST milk alone.

its not easy on anyone. just do what you have to get his visitation and write when she pulls her crap.

some links; just click on your state and find the subject/section you need.

LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html


FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

Answer 6

Why don't you talk to your man about suing the whore for custodial rights? That's what I did when I found out about the withc my man's babies' mama is. I told him if she can't raise her babies she laid down and made with him and expect him to pay her way for life, sue her goofy *** and kick her to the curb! The money gig is the way crazy women have hold over their exes. My man is a law enforcement man too, so I know your story all too well! Have him sue her for the kids.

Answer 7

Honestly, she can't really ask for all of his money. Have him tell her to get a job because she shouldn't have to expect to survive on child support. That's for the CHILD and his needs, not her's. It's how the system works. It's like asking for food stamps and using them to buy clothes. It just doesn't work that way.

Answer 8

This woman sounds like she's a CLASSIC example of what's wrong with this country. Women having babies with multiple men, demanding money from whoever she can get it from! PATHETIC! In any event, this woman is your boyfriend's problem. Not yours. When he becomes your husband and you share a joint checking account THEN you can step in and get involved. Until then, I would let him deal with her his way. Although it sounds like he needs to step up and put her in her place, or risk losing some of the respect you have for him!

Answer 9

as long as he pays the court ordered child support he is doing what he is suppossed to do..if she doesn't like it...tell her to take him back to court for child support modification..otherwise she can shut up and u do not have to listen to her

Answer 10

IT SOUND LIKE YOU GOT A GOOD MAN BUT THAT OTHER WOMAN WILL DRIVE HIM TO BE A MONSTER.HE NEED TO TALK TO A LAWYER OR SOME ABOUT A WAY TO STOP HER FROM DOING HIM LIKE THAT IT SOME ONE THAT CAN HELP HIM OUT OF THIS PROBLEM WITH THAT WOMAN.SO YOU ALL CAN BE HAPPY

Answer 11

well, honestly, there isnt much you can do. If i were you i wouldnt get invloved with all that. Let him take care of it. Plus now you really see what kind of baggage your dealing with, if your considering marring him one day. I'd stay far-far away....