My parents are getting a divorce and?

Question

My parents recently told me and my little brother and sister they decided to get a divorce but I am really having a hard time with it. To make matters worse two months before I lost my grandfather to cancer and this all started to get bad around that time. I am closer to my dad then my mom but I can not go live with my dad. How should I try to accept the fact they are getting a divorce and I can't live with my dad?

I am unable to live with my dad because now that he lives on his own he has to work longer hours and leaves early in the morning. As well as my mom feels she can not trust him and doesn't want me to stay there.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. I was in the same situation when I was about 10, the only difference was that it was my grandmother who passed away. I'm sorry for your loss. The only thing I can tell you is that it will get easier but that will take time. In the mean time make the time you get to spend with your dad extra special by doing things you wouldn't normally do or getting him to teach you something that you've always wanted to try. My dad and I used to play pool, go bowling, play cards, those kinds of things that my mom didn't really like to do and that was special and fun for both of us. If you continue to have problems don't be afraid to talk to someone about them, a teacher, an aunt, uncle or anyone else you can trust.

P.S. when I was older circumstances changed so I could live with my dad and I moved in with him. Don't pin your hopes on this but it does show what you already know, which is things are always changing for better or worse and all you can do is try to enjoy the good and fun times and get through the bad.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 2

My parents divorced when I was 13 or 14 and my sister was over 18. My sister chose to live with my dad and I moved back and forth each week (they still lived a couple miles apart). Then I moved back and forth each month. Then I'd stay at one for months at a time. Then a year or two. Then I moved out.

The best thing you can do is to talk with your parents about what you want. If they try to tell you that the situation is complicated or they don't have any say in it, they are lying. Child custody is only decided by the court when the parents can't agree on their own terms.

Answer 3

When you become 18 and can pay your own way, you can live where you want to. You should try to make the most of the time that you have with your Dad. This is the best opportunity you will ever have to help your brother and sister through this tough time. Your parents may make some choices that are hard for you to accept but remember that you will always have your brother and sister.

Answer 4

Everyday people get divorced. They will always be your parents even if they are not together. I'm not sure why you can't live with your Dad but, maybe you can live with him part time. There are alot of kids that live with 1 parent 3 days and the other parent 4 days. They both love you I am sure....it will just take a while for you to adjust.

Answer 5

Brittany,

I'm sorry for your pain. Unfortunately, sometimes adults find that they don't love each other as they thought they did. It takes love to hold a marriage together and if it isn't there, it is less painful to get a divorce that to live in a loveless marriage. You don't understand it right now, but with time and you getting older you will understand. As far as living with your dad, give things a little bit of time. After a while when things get stable, you can sit down and talk to your parents about the possibility of joint custody where you can stay with dad part time. You will survive this - trust me.

Answer 6

There are worse things that can happen than divorce. Talk to your mom and see if you can all go to family counseling. There may be reasons that you can't live with your dad, such as he is getting a 1 bedroom apartment or he is going to stay with someone else right now.
Just make sure that you can go visit him plenty.

Answer 7

That's a hard one! You and your siblings might want to consider counseling as a group. Hopefully your parent's have a good enough reason as to why they are divorcing, not some immature answer.. growing apart. etc.. They made a decision to raise three kids and that is their responsibility. Sorry to hear that.. Your father might have to find a way to compromise and you and your siblings might be able to go back and forth between both of your parents.. unless money is a major issue.. Good Luck..

Answer 8

Some parents can be better moms and dads apart rather than together....I'm sorry they are divorcing, but sometimes it's for the best.

You can still be close with your dad, in fact, when you have visits with him, it'll be 100% quality time!

Good luck, take care kid.

Answer 9

why cant you live with your dad? The courts listen to what kids want these days. I was 15 when my parents divorced and since I was closer to my dad I the time I told the courts (rather the liaison they sent to our house) I wanted to live with him and they granted that for me and my brother. I know its hard hon...but lots of people go through it. Ask your parents to bring you to a support group for kids your age...talking with other kids of divorcees might help.

Answer 10

same thing happend to me i liked my dad alot more den my mom but once you and you mom and brother and sister get moved in all toghter after a while you will get used to it and than that is the time you can get to bond more with you mother.
when my parents where divorced i still got to see my dad on weekends so i think that would be the same for you. i know it's hard but you will get threw it just stick in there.

im sure you dad will make his best effort to make that weekend so special that it makes up for the time he isn't there.

he will always be there for you

keep your chinn upp