some guy is bothering my girl friend. i calmed my girlfriend down but i dont know how to react. i can teach that person a lesson the hard way but i m afraid if anything happens to her as a reaction.
i dont know what to do. i m brave enough to kick that guys butts but i am not always with my girl friend to protect her. i m not sure to take any step or .................
2007-02-22 08:34:50 · 5 answers · asked by J@W@D 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If he is seriously bothering her in an unwelcome fashion then she should report him to the police.
2007-02-22 08:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by mindpasta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you resort to violence there are other things you can try first. One is to take the guy aside - no friends, just the two of you - and talk with him.
- Start by saying something positive to the guy. Like "I know you participate in XXX and I think that's cool. And I want you to know I respect that."
- Then tell him you're a good friend of your girlfriend. Describe the behavior that he does that bothers her, plus her honest reaction. Like this, "She's told me that several times you have XXXXX. She's asked you to stop but you've kept doing it. She doesn't know what to do get you to stop, and she now feels XXX and XXX."
- Give him the benefit of the doubt..."I know you probably didn't mean to make her feel that way, but she does. And you have to admit, nobody should have to come here to school and have that kind of thing happen to you."
- Ask for the proper behavior..."So on her behalf, I'm asking you to stop. I'm not asking you to apologize if you don't want to, though it would be the manly thing to do, it would show good faith. Do you understand what I'm asking? I'd like you to respect her feelings and I'd appreciate it if beginning right now that you'd leave her alone."
- Extend your hand for a handshake and say, "Will you do that for her?"
This approach confronts him in a peaceful, respectful way and gives him the option of resolving it without an ugly scene. Tailor the language so you're comfortable, but you get the idea. You'll find that doing this will take as much courage as defending her in a fight. He'll sense that and wonder what else you might do...if it came to that.
If this doesn't work, have a talk with security and see what they advise. Tell security that your girlfriend is afraid, and that you'll defend her if you have to. You can also approach the vice-principal next.
Hopefully, you won't have to kick his butt, which could have bad consequences for you.
Can you do it?
2007-02-22 08:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm the same thing happened to me and my boyfriend just kind of gave him a talk but didnt kick his *** (we're still in high school so we didnt wanna get suspended or expelled)
i'm finally getting over what the guy did to me..and my boyfriend was just a big support to me
just support your girlfriend and understand what she's going through
it's really hard (i don't know exactly what happened; in my case i was sexually molested on the bus by two different guys for a period of a few months) and you just need to cater to her needs
best of luck and blessed be! =]
2007-02-22 08:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Dance Jenny Dance ♫ [Deadhead♥] 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does your girlfriend feel?
I don't think that kicking his butt is liable to resolve anything (except that it might make you feel real good!).
If you see the guy try to stay between him and your girl. Try not to buy into arguing with him. Let him rant and see that it doesn't buy him anything.
2007-02-22 08:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ernie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could the guy be bugging your lady to get you riled? Has your girlfriend considered a restraining order?
2007-02-22 09:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Niklaus Pfirsig 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋