I had a LOVE affair with a women for 2 years. We loved eachother. Her Husband found out by hiring a PI. She is going to counciling and sent me an emil basically telling me she is going to try to fix her marriage and familiy. There are Kids involved. I told her to go work on her marriage since that is what she comitted to do. She still calls me-tells me she loves me- is not sure what to do. I have told her to go make it right with her husband-she is not ready to leave him. I think she is stringing me along in case it does not work out. I ahve told her this and she tells me nothing has been decided yet. She is just trying to stabilize her kids situation. I would marry her because I love her. My instincts keep telling me that i am being strung along and I need to tell her NOT to call unless she is really ready to leave her husband. To go make it work...or split with him and then we can make plans. Do you agree? What are my options?
2007-02-22 08:22:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can relate a little! Unfortunately, I am that married woman but there is no children involved. I recently got married to an old friend but at the time I just got out of a 3 year relationship. I still have feelings for my ex that are stronger than the love I have for my husband. My ex knows I love him dearly but I'm scared he feels I'm stringing hiim along but I do intend on leaving my husband to be with him. My husband and I both agree we rushed into marriage. I think you should tell her like my ex told me, he's loves me but he won't wait on me long. By him telling me that I'm pushing to get back to him before I lose him for good!! Its a messed up situation but I refuse to live without him. Good luck with that!
2007-02-22 11:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Reason 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As painful as it might be, I think that you should do the honorable thing and refuse contact from her. A marriage should be honored and respected. They can't work on their marriage if one partner is half out the door. It's not fair to their marriage if she is only pretending to try to work it out. Second, your instinct is probably correct. You are the backup man. Nothing has been decided my butt. It's been decided that they want to work on their marriage, which means that she forsakes other men and commit all of her to her busband, not hold another one in her back pocket just in case. If she isn't serious about saving their marriage, then get her to be honest about it. You and her current husband both deserve better than to be strung along.
2007-02-22 08:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by Elisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is she trying to work it out with her husband if she loves you. She is not worried about the kids, because if she was she wouldn't have cheated in the first place. She may very well love you, but she is playing mind games. That's what cheaters do. It's all a game to them. She is not going to leave her husband as long as you play along.
2007-02-22 09:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by LovinMeNow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch her. You're totally right about the stringing you along thing. Put her e-mail on block, don't answer her phone calls. Go out and find a single woman who can put you and your heart first. Instead of the one you got who's trying to make sure she has a bedwarmer if her husband tells her to take a hike.
2007-02-22 08:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kakashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is keeping you in her back pocket "just in case." The best thing you can do for both of you is break things off FOR GOOD, and that includes not calling, deleting her number, not seeing her, etc. Pretend she died. Every man/woman should want to be with someone who puts them first, not someone they're sneaking around with on the side. That is not love. Do yourself a favor and put the married woman thing behind you and find an AVAILABLE woman.
2007-02-22 08:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The confusion, frustration, uncertainty, and heartache you feel are all part of the price you pay for dating a married woman. If this is all too much for you to take, then maybe you should try dating women who aren't already married with children. I am not judging you, just reminding you of the basic common sense that you obviously lack. Good luck.
2007-02-22 08:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First (not judging) - Would you want your wife continueing to contact another man?
Second - Would you want someone's kids to bear emotional torment because two adults cannot honor commitments that they make? Remember it's kids that normally suffer more when infidelity destroys thier parents marriage.
Your options:
The only adult thing to do is cut off contact with this woman until she gets her head on straight and quits screwing around with her family's lives. It doesn't help her or her family if by staying involved you add fuel to the fire. Be a man and step aside.
2007-02-22 08:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Tell her to stop calling and cut all ties with her so she can work it out with her husband. If she leaves her husband then she can call you but I would be careful because if she cheated on her current hubby why do you think she wouldn't do the same to you.
2007-02-22 08:29:29 · answer #8 · answered by FTB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to tell her not to call u anymore, she is married, and as long as u are still in contact with her, it is doubtful if she will do much working on her marriage. wait till u see divorce papers to resume the relationship. live your life if someone else comes into it, go for it. she is keeping u there just in case the marriage can't be saved.
2007-02-22 08:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you looking for here??
Your statement/question shows you know what to do. Your prior wrongs can never make it right. JUST DO IT!
Would it make you feel better to have the husband yank on the rope while the kids beat you like a pinata?
2007-02-22 08:38:28 · answer #10 · answered by Been there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋