I've been married to my husband for 3 years. He's been a great step dad to my two kids and a good husband. Few days ago, i met with my ex (kids' father) at his apartment to discuss plans for our daughter's birthday and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I feel so bad. i didn't plan on it happening. Should I confess to my husband?
2007-02-22 08:19:51 · 49 answers · asked by Sarah Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to ruin your relationship with your husband go ahead and tell him. I suggest you keep quiet even though you did do a bad thing. Confessing to him will only lead to him NOT TRUSTING you anymore and your relationship will go down the hill from there. Be careful and don't let the ex be the reason you ruin a good thing...
2007-02-22 08:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by *jA* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your new husband then you should confess. Cheating is never right and a lot of trust is broken, it can either be forgiven or not. But your husband should know that evidently you still have feelings for your ex. It is expected anyway (that you still have feelings for him, not that you would sleep with him) you guys had kids together.
But wouldn't you want to know if your husband was cheating on you?! Even if it was only one time, you would still want to know. The truth does hurt, but it is always the better route to take!!! If he loves you then he will try to work it out and try to understand it. But however it works out the better thing to do is to tell him.
2007-02-22 08:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by yep-it-is-me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you lost your ever-loving mind?
Look, I know you feel guilty. But unburdening yourself to your husband will serve no other purpose that to cause your husband pain, making your confession nothing more than a self-centered act to ease your own conscience by transferring the problem to him.
The other issue is the happiness and security of your children. If you confess this, then they will deal with yet another broken marriage, and all the emotional traumas and trust issues that go along with them.
What you seem to not realize is that you are not the center of the universe. And your actions have consequences beyond yourself, regardless of what your motivations are.
So unburden yourself to somebody. But make sure it is somebody such as a clergy, a counsellor, or someone else whose absolute discretion you can trust. And resolve to never do it again.
Oh, and ignore these people who are advising you to tell him. They have neither experience nor maturity, and their wisdom seems to come from Oprah or pop psychology books.
2007-02-22 09:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you're a person who exercises no self control. You should feel bad! Extremely bad! Blah, Blah, Blah...you didn't "plan" on it happening.... How sorry of an excuse is that...You don't know right from wrong?
How sad it is, that you think it's ok to play with people's emotions.... Calculated or uncalculated, it's just wrong! Your self centered actions are affecting your children (whether you know it or not, your ex, and your new husband)...
Sure, tell your husband to ease your guilt. Perhaps then when he throws you out on your @$$, (which he rightfully should) your ex- will then open his doors to you and you can go back to the relationship you left off with... (but that's probably not likely is it) He probably understands the type of woman you really are!
Sorry for the lecture, but I think you are a very selfish person and you need to get yourself together and stop making excuses for your lack of judgement!
2007-02-22 08:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep Your Mouth SHUT.
What the hell were YOU thinking. One thing does NOT lead to another.
You tell your husband and he should toss your butt , and your kids as well to the curb.
Why on earth would you do that to a guy who has done nothing to cause this. Were you banging some other guy when you were married to the first guy.
Is that why he is an EX?
Tell your husband and get divorced AGAIN.
Grow up.
Keep your freaking pants on.
Keep you mouth shut and live with your own guilt. If you share it with husband you deserve to be tossed.
This story is disgusting.
2007-02-22 08:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you confess to your husband? So that YOU feel better? If you confess to your husband that you're an untrustworthy person, he'll either divorce you OR never trust you again. You prepared to put your kids through ANOTHER divorce? If you feel guilty then GOOD. It's what you deserve for cheating on a man that you admitted is a good husband and stepfather to your children.
2007-02-22 08:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best thing they said, soon or later you husband will find out and you'll probably regret not telling that it happened right away. So, fess up and and assume the the fall out. What would have you done if he had cheated on you? Since you are going to your ex again and again it will likely happened in the future. Let him know, you owe him that at least for being good to you.
2007-02-22 08:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by blackjack7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! He deserves to move on with his life without you since you made a decision to break your comittment. Sex doesn't "just happen" Clothes don't fall off, you dont accidently wind up having sex, you make a decision/compromise after another and then you wonder how you ever got that far. I feel badly for your husband. If he is as great as you say he is he deserves better.
2007-02-22 08:26:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should confess this to your husband, and ask for his forgiveness if you want to save your marriage. If you are afraid of his reaction, first pray and ask Jesus to forgive you and to give you peace and protection.
I am in no position to judge you for this, and neither is anyone else for that matter. Don't let these negative comments make you feel worst than you already do. (Keep your head up!)
If your husband does forgive you--and he might, it probably will take a while,you be the best wife to him that you can be.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!
2007-02-22 09:25:07 · answer #9 · answered by ladysea8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your husband had an ex that he shared kids with? And he had sex with her? would you want him to tell you? What would you do with the situation was reversed?
I think you ought to tell the truth. or you will end up on the Maury Povich show crying wondering "who's the father?"
2007-02-22 08:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by marquella_la_nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋