This is purely a hypothetical. If a woman refuses her man sex, or sex the way HE wants/needs (i.e., she will have sex but just lays there like a sack of meat until you're done) or refuses to do something kinky (not talking about erotic asphyxiation or fecophilia or anything like that, nothing violent or disturbing) and he eventually is worn down to the point emotionally/sexually he contemplates escorts/prostitutes/hookers, and his wife/gf/whatever refuses or just doesn't help him (even after discussing the possibility of it), what is a man supposed to do?
2007-02-22 07:54:34 · 39 answers · asked by Mike 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm editing to add, well duh, divorce IS an option....divorce would be an option, but isn't the wife culpable because she refuses her husband? If roles were reversed, would it be that bad? In my experience, women cheat not because of the sex but for other reasons. I'm talking just sex!
2007-02-22 08:20:42 · update #1
Ok, I'm a pig, but i was asking the question to start debate....yeesh!
2007-02-22 08:23:25 · update #2
If one partner can no longer provide what the other partner needs in the relationship, or one partner demands/wants more than the other feels they can give, than the relationship should be ended. There is no justification for cheating - each partner has the option to be honest and end the relationship before pursuing other romantic/sexual options.
It isn't necessarily a matter of fault or blame - ie, the woman "pushed him into divorce" by refusing to engage in certain sexual acts - it's just a simple fact. Certainly divorce isn't a happy or painless choice, but it is still the best and most honest option in this case.
Also, your addendum carries a certain Victorian assumption that a man has a right to have sex with his wife - this is erroneous. A man may have a reasonable *expectation* that his wife will provide him with sex, but it is by no means his *right* to claim it or insist upon it. A woman ALWAYS has the option to refuse, even if she is your wife, your mistress, or your prostitute.
Ideally, the man in this case would seek the help of a sex therapist or couples counseling before giving up on the marriage; perhaps there are reasons why the wife is not fully engaged in the activity, and a solution could be found. Every effort should be made to solve the problem; only then can he justify dissolving the relationship and only THEN should he seek gratification elsewhere.
An interesting dilemna, but still, the answer is self-evident.
2007-02-22 08:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that's cheating, unless it's with her consent. You are right, most women does not cheat because of sex but because of lack of support, communication problems, revenge, etc. You're saying that in your case it's only sex, but women doesn't see that way, for her it's pure lack of loyalty, commitment and respect.
I would advice you to go to a marriage counseling. This situation has a few problems the couple has to discuss and before pointing the finger on who's right or wrong you both need to answer some questions:
1. Why she doesn't have sex appetite? (Trauma, depression, lack of interest...)
2. Did something change? (How was she in the beginning of the relationship?)
3. Is your definition of kinky the same as hers? Everyone has different spectrums as far as sexuality goes.
4. Do you want to still be in the relationship if she doesn't fulfill your sexual needs?
5. Will she accept you to use escorts/prostitutes/hookers to fulfill your sexual needs?
6. If so, what are you going to do to prevent STD?
7. Is this temporary or indefinite?
8. How can these actions affect the relationship?
9. Is it worth to go through that? it can be an emotional roller coaster.
By analyzing these questions (hypotherically speaking), you can decide if this is something that you want to stay or dump her and find someone that not just fulfills your emotional needs but all your needs and hopefully you live with her happily after.
2007-02-22 08:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not cheating, it's just sex. It's the wifes responsibility to keep her husband well fed, if she doesn't, then he has the right to feed himself. The whole hooker thing is simply a cash for sex transaction, nothing more, no feelings, just good old fashion no strings attached sex, just like if you picked up a woman in a bar and slept with her.
Women get this twisted all the time, and they try to use sex to get what they want, and it works for most guys who never think of this 'alternative' option.
I've seen hookers keep marriages together a lot longer than they would have been without them. Think about it, if you don't resent your wife for not having sex with you, you can actually get along better on other issues. The 2 biggest issues in marriages are sex and money anyhow.
Remember, prostitutes are professionals, they're called that for a reason, nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
2007-02-22 15:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's still cheating if your having sex outside of marriage , if your not married then break up first and have sex with whom ever you want . If your married and unable to work out the sexual situation and that over rides your wife's other attributes then counseling or divorce could then be an honest solution . So my answer is a yes it's cheating .
2007-02-22 08:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe she's just laying there like a sack of potatos because you're just not doing it for her, either. Have you sat down and asked what would work for BOTH of you, instead of being selfish and only thinking of yourself? Because sex outside the relationship is still sex outside the relationship and cheating. I'm sorry, that's how it is. You sound like you either need to find a more compatible sexual partner, dumping the one you're with, or sit down and see what you can do to get her more interested in participating.
2007-02-22 07:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's considered cheating when you have sex with somebody besides your spouse / partner, then why would paying for it NOT make it cheating? Now if you're looking for an excuse to cheat because your wife is unwilling and or unable to satisfy you, sounds like you and your wife need to have a nice long talk. I am not making ANY excuses for cheating because there aren't any. At the same time however, it amazes me at how many wives who deny their husbands sex act surprised when they find out he's seeing another woman, paying for hookers, or whacking it to internet porn.
2007-02-22 08:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating. If the "man" is not satisfied in the relationship then he needs to end it. If sex, or lack of, is the reason he is not satisfied then he is not ready for a relationship anyway. A relationship is a lot more than just sex.
2007-02-22 08:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by countryfrog6 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not only cheating, it's also illegal. If the sex is that bad and she won't meet him halfway, get the heck out and find a new woman. You can't tell me the rest of the relationship is great and sex is the ONLY thing that's wrong.
2007-02-22 08:03:04 · answer #8 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, its cheating, you are sleeping with someone other than your wife, if you are having problems within the marraige then see a therapist or a sexual counselor but some people just arent compatible and if the cheating continues the it may be time to get a divorce.....
2007-02-22 08:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find non-personal sex from a call girl-just be careful-wear a condom (like you need to be told this)
Humans-just like any other mammal need sex
Happily married 20 years-wife takes care of me but if she acted as above I would not hesitate to get some elsewhere
2007-02-22 07:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Allen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋