I have the hots for a co-worker and I think she feels the same......BUT!?

Question

I am married with a 6 year old daughter. my relationship has gone sour lately and I like the conversation I have with my co-worker. My wife pays no attention to me and always has a negative attitude. Help! What should I do? I love my wife but I feel like things could be beyond repair.

Thank you for all the great advice so far. I have thought this over and came to the conclusion that it would not be a wise idea,considering the love I have for my family. The grass is not always greener on the other side I suppose. I have been with my wife for 7 years so far. There is too much history between us that I am not willing to throw away for the sake of someone I barely know.Thanks again for all of the great advice so far.

Answer 1

here's what you'll get if you divorce...your wife will be obviously po'd and this will translate to your child...your child will have to choose between you and her mom for the rest of your life....you will loose 1/2 of you maritail assets...this includes 1/2 of your pension fund...then you will loose 20% of your net income for the next 16 years (if she goes to college)....20% of you net income i.e, if you make $55,000 your child support will be around $900 a month for the next 16 years...this is paid regardless if your child is visiting you or not...and if you make more money in life then you will be taken back to court and expected to pay more...if you get a second job you will be taken back to court and be expected to pay more.....you will have to pay for your childs insurance and 1/2 of the co-pays plus 1/2 of the college if she goes...

you might want to re-think this decision you make and try and salvage your marriage or you will be very very poor in life and your child will suffer badly

Check out the follwing website...It can help you

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Answer 2

Classic...seems like you are heading down the tubes of destruction. You are always going to find a woman who you will feel comfortable talking too. That's part of the game. Woman will always be interested in a man who has a family, house, car...yada...yada = MONEY. They will always maintain a good first impression so that they can take you and everything you've got. There is no guarantee that they will give you a better relationship, ironically they turn out to be the same or even worse because they didn't respect that you were married in the first place. If you are considering someone else, you've already divorced your wife in your heart. If you really care about your wife you should ask yourself how do I reach my wife's heart. It's about team work and you are the leader. What do you do when you are on a team and you want synergy? A good leader leads by example and doesn’t give up, he is persistent, confident, and positive minded. A good leader isn't selfish, they consider there teams needs and wants as much as their own. There is a balance to everything. Don't look as this as a problem, look at this as a challenge; like if you were total strangers and you just met this hot babe, how would you kick it to her? Just like the first time you met her but modified and updated to the times. You and your wife are still people who grow and develop new likes and dislikes. You both change, thus you are always going to learn something new about the other. It takes hard work, but what you put in is what you get out. Trust, respect and love are earned.

Answer 3

Before you bring another woman into this situation to make it more complicated, end it with your wife.
Or better yet, maybe try counseling and talking it out if possible. If you all have went through all of the loops of trying to save the marriage, don't bring in a co-worker to help you with dealing with the wife. The situation will only turn for the worse and a messy situation can happen. Someone will end up hurt at your expense.
If it is not repairable, do what you need to do to be a part of your daughters life and move on.

Hope this helps...

Answer 4

Before you go and destroy your little girls life, rethink this one. What you are contemplating doing will have a horrible result in the life of someone you are suppose to protect with all of your inner being and you are contemplating doing the actual hurt to her. First of all tell your wife that you love her with all of your heart and start applauding her for all she does and make her feel wonderful it is your job as a husband to make her feel your love toward her. Tell her be honest with her and tell her that you feel like your both neglecting each other and that you thought that for one month you both can give each other compliments and nothing negative can be said on either part your or hers. Give each other at least ten compliments a day. Like how beautiful she looks how you think she is a great mother how nice it is just to be around her and so on and so on. Even if he just laughs tell her you love her smile. What ever you do don't hurt the one person that adores you beyond adoration, your little girl. Don't take away from her just because you both have stopped giving attention to the positive and just fed the negative. Feed only the positive and completely ignore the negativeness for the sake of your beautiful child.

Answer 5

well how are you trying to work things out with your wife? Are you just saying "its getting sour" and leaving it go, or are you actually trying to make an attempt to save it? You obviously loved each other at one time. I only say this because I have been where you are. It looks greener on the other side, but it doesnt necessarily mean that it is. Give you relationship with your wife some more TLC, because afterall, you guys have a beautiful daughter together. Give it some time, but if it is one sided with the repairs, i'd say talk to her about ending the marriage. dont cheat, thats sooo immature.

Answer 6

So, what's the question exactly? You're MARRIED! End of story! Typical quitter - wanting to get out because she isn't meeting YOUR needs. Maybe you aren't exactly the husband of the year, either, but she stays at it anyways. You made a LIFETIME commitment -regardless of if she still makes you happy. Marriage isn't about happiness. It's about commitment and working at it no matter what. Not only did you make a lifetime vow but you sealed that deal even further when you made a baby! Smarten up! Just because things with your wife aren't fantastic the LAST answer is to check out and sow your oats with another woman! An affair would satisfy YOU - but what about what it would do to your wife and child? If you want to be with your co -worker at least have the guts to end it with your wife first. She deserves a chance at a life without you if that is your decision.

Answer 7

Think very carefully before you act on this. Your wife and your daughter deserve more than a cheat. Your attraction to your co-worker is just that, attraction, the love you have for your wife is by far superior. If you love your wife like you say, then work to save your marriage, which, in the long run, would make you more happy and content than a fling with your co-worker would.

Answer 8

dont lose your wife and tear apart your family if its not completely necessary. If you still have feelings for you wife, try to help her out of her bad mood. You may be going through a rough patch in your marriage and you see your co-worker as something new and great, but that might not last. Don't cheat on your wife, then you will lose her trust and you will not be able to get it back. Also, if you prove to your co-worker you can't be trusted to be faithful by cheating with her, she most likely won't see you as a person to have a serious relationship with. if you feel like you still want to be with your wife, dont spilt from her because then you'll have to go through custody battles and divorce courts which is never good.

Answer 9

Are you doing everything you are supposed to do to keep your wife happy. You may be the reason she has an attitude. If you're all good on that question then you leave the relationship before you get involved with the co-worker. You will hurt her less if you just leave instead of cheating. Cheating will certainly ruin things, and you'll be cheating on your little girl too.

Answer 10

Well, get you and your wife to a counselor. Hopefully with some work on both your parts you can rebuild your marriage. Or at least give it another chance. As for the coworker attraction, stay away from that. I got involved with a real sleaze ball who came into my work place, left notes on my desk, flirted with me, asked me out and played all kinds of push and pull games with me. It was horrible. I allowed him to totally manipulate me, because I am a good person. And, if things don't work out, you have to see this person everyday, which is hard, if it turns bad. Just stay away from that and work on your marriage. Also, have your wife go for a physical. Having a baby takes a toll on a woman's body and her hormones could be out of whack, causing mood swings.
Very common and easy to correct.