How to be positive with others?

Question

I have a terrible problem in dealing with people, i am very shy, and when I talk to someone, I hardly find something to talk about to open a conversation, in short, my life has become a series of reactions instead of doing actions, I need to change but i don't know how.

Answer 1

I suggest you read a book. Dale Carnige's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's a great book for learning how to talk to people and lead conversations in a likable way. It's probably the best guide for conversational skills too.

Answer 2

I talk to many people in the course of a day. One thing I always try to do is learn something about each person I come into contact with and will have the opportunity to speak with again. This way I can always come up to someone and say, "Hey, (insert name), how's little Susie doing?" or "What'd you catch on your fishing trip last weekend?"

People like to talk about themselves, so just keep asking questions about them. You have to listen and be interested in what they have to say, or it will come across as fake.

If you need a short burst of bravery, just pretend you're someone else. Like and actor playing a part. The more you get used to talking to different people, the easier and more natural it will become.

Personally, I am very shy and introverted. I once told this to a co-worker and they laughed saying, "You...SHY! I can't picture you ever being shy!" I'm still not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not, hehe.

Answer 3

I suggest buying some new clothes and start working out maybe get a new haircut. All these things will improve your self confidence. The important thing to remember is we are all people and none of us are perfect. You have likable characteristics, just be confident. and if it doesnt work out keep trying. the more you try the more you will find your shyness waining

Answer 4

smile, be a good listener and talk about positive things and have a positive outlook on things that are being talked about. people like to be around people that make them feel good. i actually have the same problem as you and it has made life a little more difficult but im working on it.

Answer 5

Mindfulness of Breathing {or Mindfulness Meditation), along with Loving-kindness meditation helped me a lot to patiently deal with people, and to overcome my shyness.
As we approach the stressors in our life with optimism, we effectively deal our introversion, with stress, anger, anxiety,worry, etc. successfully. I take 15 min. early in the morning, and 15 min. in the evening to practice a simple meditation called the mindfulness of breathing. [I also practice Lovingkindness meditation for 15 min. a day].
Mindfulness of Breathing exercises:
1) Be in a comfortable position, whether sitting
or lying down.
2) Have someone watch your other children for
about 15 min. [Increase in time gradually, after practicing for a month].
Then close your eyes, and concentrate
totally on your breathing.
3) At the end of your first inhalation of oxygen,
count one. Keep doing this until you get to Ten. Then start back at one. Remain patient with yourself.
4) Then focus your attention on breathing only
through your nostrils, which filter out all
the things, which are not healthy to breath
into your lungs. Be aware of the various
sensations through your nostrils, while you
continue the counting. When you get to
ten, start again at one.
5) When a distracting thoughts enters your mind
allow them to pass through {your mind], or judging them, or trying to fix them.
And then gently, patiently bring your full
attention back to your breath. Every time,
a distracting thought {any thought which
would take your attention of your breath),
comes to your mind, you need to use this
skillful, disciplinary method of bring it back.
Thoughts do come into our minds, especially
worrisome , or pressing thoughts
which indicate to us that we have an anxious mind.
Just be patient w/yourself, and keep practicing.
According to Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD. Mindfulness of Breathing has been proven very effective. He has a successful clinic in Mass. U.S.A. for anyone challenged with stress, worry, anger, and anxieties.

Mindfulness of Breathing helps me to effectively deal with stress, anxiety, and has helped me a great deal with being introverted.

Hope I did not offend you, that was not my intention. Just sharing what has helped, and continues to help me. Thanks for reading this.