Do I have a right to ask my significant other to leave?

Question

I have been with "him" for 7 years, we have 2 young children together and we are not married. We recently relocated out of state; far away from any family and friends due to my job. He has recently been very irresponsible with our finances and inconsiderate towards me; (ie, staying out for long periods of time, not letting anyone know where he is refusing to answer calls, including his work when he was supposed to be there. Leaving me alone without a vehicle and no way to get to work or get my kids to school and no way to get a hold of him, or anyone for that matter.) Recently his paychecks have gone "missing" and offers the following vague explanations for these things (I work too much, the truck broke down, I had to help someone out, etc, etc) I am getting fed up with this and whenever he is home he is mean and bossy, when I asked him to leave he told me I couldn't make him because his name was on the lease and that I couldn't leave either, nor could I take the kids if I tried. HELP!

He told me that he was trapt (as was I) and there was nothing that could be done about. Our finance's are pretty well integrated I make just about enough money to keep the house, pay bills, feed the boys, etc (that's IF he isn't a total jerk and helps with the childcare expenses which are greater than our rent) I just want him gone if this is how he is going to be I am not sure what is going on (drugs, alcohol, other women, gambling..) I at this point just don't want to deal with it. I have been through too much turmoil when he pulls his disappering acts (is he hurt, dead, where is my truck??? is he getting fired? Am I???) this is on a weekly basis convientely around the time he gets paid... He always says he won't do it again, blah blah.. I don't care I just him out of my life if he won't straighten up. I am just not sure how to do it in a way that won't make things worse. Thanks for you help!

Answer 1

Yes you can leave and take the kids, hes pretty obviously either gambling or drugging or drinking and/or having an affair, tell him you want to go to visit your parents and then stay there(without telling him first). I know you have a job there, but what he is doing is isolating you and is a prelude to you getting yourself either beaten or verbally abused. Go now. You can always get another job, but keeping your self respect is very difficult.

Answer 2

It sounds as if you have a very serious problem on your hands with your partner.
This situation is not only unhealthy for you, but for your children as well. I say that it is time to go.
Come up with a plan, because you have children involved you have a lot of thinking to do.
A good plan on what you are going to do, will help you with all of the adjustments that you are going to have to make to truly being a single parent, which basically you are now.
If you are able to move back with family out of state, I think that would be the best thing. Start browsing and applying for jobs there and try and get yourself set-up to start over, because your relationship don't seem to be getting any better.
There are also shelters to go to do as well that help women get back up there feet and away from the perpetrator.
Keep your children in mind and do what is best for them.
Yeah, you will ultimately be breaking the lease if you move out of the apartment and will legally owe money, but sometimes you have to pay the cost for peace of mind.

Hope this helps...Be Encouraged

Answer 3

With your next paycheck, open your own checking account and keep the check book at work, locked in your desk or locker. Contact your landlord and find out if they have another apartment that you and the kids could rent and have your name taken off his lease. If he can't afford the apartment, he can worry about it. If you need further help, either contact your local Bar Association for an attorney (consultations often don't cost anything and provide valuable information - take along a note pad). And if you see the slightest hint that he might become violent, call the police immediately. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

first u need to try and find out whats going on, i mean if u 2 just moved there then he might be going through things that u dont know about. if it's drugs then he will need your help more then he or u could even think of, but he has to want to get help, so while u are getting your things right to leave try to solve the problem and if it dosent work then leave. it's takes a strong person to get through the rough times, i know people that went through the same thing u are going through and it was drugs most of the time but they stuck in there and helped there man get better and now they are doing better then they ever were

Answer 5

For the sake of the dating, besides as his happiness, i could no longer ask him to pass away his interest via fact he might in simple terms finally end up resenting me afterward. At an unpredicted 2nd, a controversy ought to arise and improve based off of the very shown fact that he became pulled removed from something he likes to do and has this repressed anger. there are such somewhat some negative aspects in existence. some people may be killed of their own residence, or in simple terms from being interior the incorrect place on the incorrect time. He knows of it truly is risky, and that i might exhibit my concerns, and tell him to be very careful, yet I ought to enable him persist with area of his dream. If it motives me to have melancholy, and usual impacts the dating the two way, then i might advise him quitting his interest, or having long talks to help in making issues much less complicated.

Answer 6

i know someone that is going through the same thing you are. she found out he boyfriend is on crack. he stays out long hours alwayss broke and when he is using he is really mean to her and the kids beats on her. watch him look at his eyes if his eyes are bigger than most time then you may be going thriugh the same thing. she is scared to leave because he has told her he would killer then himself if she ever tried to leave. he was not always like this it start real bad about 2 years ago that is when he started using if your money starts coming up missing then you really need to worry. i wish i could tell you an easy way to get away but with people like him its never easy and even heard when you have kids if you need to talk i am here my email address is on here god bless and good luck

Answer 7

Looks like you got yourself in a pickle. Based on your comments, you will need to work around your situation. Make your own plans around him and leave on your own, no matter the cost. If he is gone as much as you say then plan around it, then deal with the drama as it unfolds. Be smart, plan quietly and methodically with family and friend support. Depending on the state that you live live you may have legal rights to exersize. And of cource the child support will be a no brainer as long as his income is traceable.
good luck,