Having relationship problems?

Question

Hi

Its been a year and a half since my partner and i split up for a period of about 7 months. During this time he seen another girl for about 8 weeks pretty much straight away. We have been together for about 7 years and have one son together and at the moment i am 3 months pregnant. I am still having real problems coming to terms with this other female, unfortunately he still works in the same shop as her and it causes me a lot of pain. am i being silly staying with this guy, do you think he just finds our relationship convenient. He always takes loads of pics of me and tells me he loves me and that he really wants this baby but i find it soo hard to believe him. I didnt take him back straight away i waited about 5 months before i let him move back in. I know it is not wise to get pregnant when feeling this way but i am and theres no changing that now. he says he left me because our relationship was on the rocks? opinions appreciated

Answer 1

it happened to me, the exact same thing, and i don't know about you sweetheart but i could never get over it, we have a son together but we split up. i hope you can get over it, if he really loves you, my ex still tells me that he wants me back, but i just can't get over this other girl, so i do wish you all the luck in the world,x

Answer 2

i'm also 3 months pregnant and strugging with my marriage because just after i found out my husband told me he didn't love me as much as he use to and has feelings for his ex fiancee. I feel really stupid for still being with him but we are trying again and i feel i should give this a go to try and ensure that my child has a stable home with 2 loving parents. I'm cross that my husband let me get pregnant if he was struggling as we have been trying to 2 years and i never knew anything was wrong but the position i am in and i think you are too is that if you have decided to give it another go then you have to forgive and forget otherwise you will go crazy. What i have done is my family (large family) have got a lawyer in place in case i find i need it and put in place the males in the family to take over so i can just walk out if need be with protection in place if he does this again and the marriage is over i am trying - the operative word being trying - to accept that we are trying again to protect the marriage and be happy. But with 3 months pregnant and speaking from experience it is not easy and there are many mood swings. Take care

Answer 3

Well, because of the seriousness of your situation and being pregnant, it's time to give him the ultimatium; "s*** or get off the pot". Men do not like this, so therefore the decison and outcome should be easy for you, you know? I wouldn't want you to waste your time on someone who can sort of be there for you especially when you're pregnant. Who needs that? In my book it's all or nothing, and it should be that way when you're in a relationship. Keep me posted and let me know!

Answer 4

At the end of the day, who does he choose to come home to? And who does he say he loves? (Although he doesn't understand that when someone really loves another person, they don't do things to hurt them.) Of course, whilst he is off getting what he wants with this other girl, he shouldn't also be coming home to get it with you. You need to sit down and talk, - talk, not argue - so try not to use phrases with the word 'you' in them, but ones with the words 'me', 'I' and 'we' - that way the emphasis will not be on accusation, but on letting him know how you feel, abot the effect it is having on you, and your child too, for that matter.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Hum,i can see you problem, the only thing i can suggest is to let things take there own course, if he is going to stray, he will, you can only trust him until he does, (IF HE DOES IT), if he loves you as much as he says, you will trust him in time,
Let go of your insecurity's, an live you lives, happily together, as a family
All the best
Dekker