don't know how to approach this problem of mine. I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 1/2 months, and I still can't seem to relax around her. It is very strange. Most of the time, I don't know how to make conversation with her (I am like this with almost everyone except for my family, by the way). I feel socially inept and insecure. I have basically no friends and I'm very introveted, so I don't have much of a life outside of my full time job and college courses. The thing about my gf is that a couple of weeks ago she said she loved me, and I could tell she meant it. She has a four year old daughter. I notice that my gf is more introverted and laughs less around me than others (although we do laugh at times). I just want her to be happy. I do treat her like a queen. I take her places, do things with her and her daughter, and we don't fight. ADVICE? How can I break out of my shell?
2007-02-22 06:10:16 · 24 answers · asked by mspidey2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS: I did tell her once, but she said that it was okay, and that I don't bore her. She said that she really loves me, but I get scared that my introverted nature will eventually turn into a problem.
2007-02-22 06:15:46 · update #1
Relax! She is with you so there is no need to be nervous. If your uptight then she's going to be uptight around you. Find some fun things to do together. Bring her to meet your fam.
Start living life or she may find someone that can.
2007-02-22 06:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, ask yourself, do you love her back? The reason I ask is that sometimes there are people that are in relationships for lengthy period and do not feel the same way back to their companion. I mean it makes no sense being in a relationship with someone for that long if there is no love but because they are in a relationship to show that "hey! I have someone!" type of mentality is the reason that they stay. For you though, since you don't feel comfortable around her maybe you should think as to what drew you two together in the first place.If your answer is yes you do love her, then talk to her about your problem and hope she is the type that is understanding, and start to work on yourself. Like for instance since you are more comfortable around your family how about a get together with your friends and your family on a holiday or something? Or just with your gf and family? You will be around familiar faces and from there and I am encouraging you to go out more often with her and her son but work on talking to her more! Ok! Good luck!
2007-02-22 14:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by candice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you afraid of? If you have been with this person for 8 1/2 months, why can't you relax? It is something. Have you had issues in past relationships? Are you afraid she will leave you if you relax? Are you having second thoughts about being with her?If you are being a gentleman around this woman and treatin her the way she should be treated, then why are you stressin over something that is not worth stressin over? I think you need to try to relax and talk to her about it. Not in a way to make her the reason for you not being to relax but talk with her about you being tense and maybe she can talk a lil more to make you at ease. Oh, when it comes to conversation, you can talk about anything to get it started. Talk about family members, something on t.v., the weather, etc. There are several things you can talk about but it is up to you to open that up for the both of you. Good luck!
2007-02-22 14:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by jetta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two fit together well, just the way you are. Talking about how you feel is REALLY big for a woman. So just let her know how and what you're thinking. I don't think your description of how you are should be considered a problem. Sometimes it's nice to have that peace and quiet and still know what each other is thinking and feeling. Remember too, that words are black and white on paper, and fade without actions!
Be good to yourself always! Big Hug
2007-02-22 14:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to get better in social situations is to practice. Maybe try to join some sort of group n your community to try and meet new people. Find a some sort of volunteer job for the weekends which would help you to meet people. Get out there.
It might also help if your girlfriend was involved too. Perhaps salsa dancing together would help build confidence. There might be a adverts for these kinds of things in your local paper.
I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck.
xx
2007-02-22 14:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kristina P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya, i think you dont feel like you can relax around her because maybe due to a lack in self confidence you feel you may lose her if you show your true personality. However the way i see it is your girlfriend adores you and she is very happy with the relationship as she told you she loved you, and maybe you should not be as scared to open up, because if a girl does not accept you for who you really are, then was the relationship ment to be? this is the way i look at it. hope it helps.
2007-02-22 14:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even know what to say really. Normally, I am very shy and quiet person but when I meet someone I really get along with and am happy with, I tend to break out of that. I would think if there is love there, you should be comfortable with one another to talk about everything and laugh with eachother. Good luck!
2007-02-22 14:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoo whoo. Your tryimg to hard bud. Listen, you have to start this with being yourself. She likes you and loves you for you. Now, your conversation problem, and your social skills need to improve. When you two go places, take note of things, gossip about small little things, it creates conversation and gets to open eachother up saying true thoughts. It also can create good laughs and memories "remeber the time when..". You also have to read her, know when she's sad or happy, and go off with those. Make jokes when she's sad, and be engergetic when she's happy. Mainly be yourself, and open up to her, and when you find out you love her, you'll see she'll have opened up to you as well.
2007-02-22 14:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you arent supposed to break out of your shell. Maybe you are JUST the way you are intended to be. Really, accept who you are and you will relax I bet. Nothing wrong with being introverted, some of the most powerful, successful people I know are introverts and they appear to me to be very happy, which is the best success someone can achieve..... happiness being yourself.
2007-02-22 14:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by Surrendered 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about this? I think you should talk to her about how are feeling. She may feeling the same way you are. I also think you should write down some things you are interested in and have here do the same. Then you'll both have some things you know you can talk to the other about. You should also know that shouldn't have to hold back around your girlfriend, if she loves you then you shouldn't have to worry about losing her because you are being yourself. You can be the same way you are around your family.
I hope this helps.
2007-02-22 14:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by streetgen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋