I can't stop fantasizing about this other man. I'm happily married and I try to make it better in the bedroom, but I feel a little guilty knowing that my husband is not the one who turned me on. I'm pregnant with baby #3 and I am wondering if its horomones? Will it go away? I just need some advice. I don't want to mess up our marriage, but I really want this guy and he knows it.
2007-02-22 05:42:52 · 14 answers · asked by thezookeeper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's all about "desired end-state"...where do you want to end up? If you bone this guy you will not be able to stop...you will feel really bad and vow to stop...but we know how far your vows go ...don't we.... then you'll "slip" again and from that time on you'll be hooked on the sex and the excitement of the cheat...and let me tell you it is exciting...until you get caught..then you will force your children into choosing one parent of the other for the rest of your life...they will be permanantly damaged and you will have failed in your primary duty (which is not sexual satisfaction by the way) to prepare your shildren for entrance into the real world...you will ruin your husbands financial future..he will loose 1/2 of his marital assets to include 50% of his pension and then approximately 30% of his future earnings for child support...he will be ruined by your quest for a sexual satisfaction...now to you you will have your self esteem ruined and you will think less of yourself...when you're dating this guy after the divorce you might take up with him...but how could you trust him...he had no respect for marriage...and by the way how could he trust you?....you have no idea what commitment is...but what the heck....go for it ,,,do what most of the immediate gratification women do in this world and ruin everything you got...then try and sell it to yourself as the right thing to do.....
When I date a woman ....if she's been married why did she get divorced.....the answer she give will tell me if she gets another date or not......
I guess this is futile...you have already made up your mind and want some sort of justification to do it (if you haven't already)...I feel sorry for your children and your husband....
CHeck out the following website...it's for men....but women can benefit from it as well...look up the section on cheating
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
2007-02-22 06:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be hormones. Pregnancy can literally make you crazy horny! Look up research on that. Don't torture yourself for being tempted or having fantasies. The troubling part of your story is that you say you "really" want this guy--and that he knows it. That's dangerous, and THAT's where your marriage will get screwed up. Imagine how you would feel if your husband was in the same situation! What would you want him to do?
PS-you are PREGNANT. Let's not forget what's most important here. (that would be your children and your marriage). Cut yourself off from this other man. Don't see him or talk to him if you can avoid it. And DON'T do anything. Every marriage faces obstacles like this--it's what you do about them that defines your marriage.
2007-02-22 06:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by lizzgeorge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with a harmless crush. They are usually short lived, and yes it could be horomones due to pregnancy. However, it could also be a sign that something is seriously missing in your marriage. You can try solo counseling to see if you can work it out, and then tell your spouse if it's necessary. WARNING stay away from the other man, especially if he feels the same. If he's a complete jerk, he will wait until you are vulnerable and take advantage of you then.
2007-02-22 05:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by passionatemilf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to fantasize at one point or another. God created us with sexual desires. Its when we act on those desires that get us into trouble. I wouldn't recommend telling your husband, that would be cruel, just as you would not want to hear if your husband desired another female. You are sliding down a slippery slope if this "other man" knows how you feel, you must have conveyed that to him, which is a big no-no. You need to cut off any contact with him so that you don't put yourself and your marriage at great risk.
2007-02-22 05:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ohhhh momma.... That was me when i was pregnant. After i had my son, there wasnt a drop me of still fantasizing about the 'other guy!' Its the hormones. I would get wet dreams about the other guy, felt guilty but everything went back to normal shortly after my son was born. good luck honey and congrats on baby 3
2007-02-22 05:49:01 · answer #5 · answered by stayc 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe its not your husband......maybe its you. Everyone has fantasies.........its human nature, but acting on it is something completely different.
If you cheat........it WILL come back to haunt you. Also, this
other guy may want you, but its because you aren't available.
Are you willing to risk your marriage for a fling?? For something that will never be anything more than casual sex??
2007-02-22 05:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fantasies are perfectly normal whether you're pregnant or not.
It can only mess up your marriage if you act on those fantasies.
2007-02-22 05:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all - STAY AWAY FROM THE OTHER GUY. Secondly, we all choose our own thoughts, so when these fantasies "pop" into your head - "CHOOSE" to turn your thoughts toward your husband.
2007-02-22 05:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to pregnancy hormones lol. It is completely normal for you to feel this way as long as you don't act on it. We all fantisize from time to time and there is nothing wrong with that. I am sure your husband has imagined you as Pamela Anderson or who knows lol.....we all do it, it is normal...just don't act on it.
Good luck with your pregnancy!
2007-02-22 05:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by supergoober 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is only a fantasy...u are not having sexual relations with another....and as u say...he benefits from it...loose the guilt and just enjoy
2007-02-22 05:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋