How can i make him understand?

Question

My fiance seems to be so insensitive. I am 18 wks pregnant and i feel horrible about myself. I used to sleep naked when we would go to bed and i don;t anymore, i sleep on the edge of the bed cuz i feel that im not good enough for my fiance and he doesn't even notice that. He doesnt cuddle with me anymore and everytime i try talking to him he tells me that im being silly but he doesn't even make eye contact with me. We are lucky to have sex once a week and i wonder if its that way just to keep me happy. we never do it when i want to but always when he does. Im to the point that i don;t even want to shower with him or even have sex anymore. I feel so horrible and gross...what should i do??

When i do try and talk to him he just tells me that he doesn't want to have this converstion and that makes it even harder to talk to him about how im feeling.

Answer 1

You have a serious self esteem problem, possibly depression, and he is not helping. Seek out some counseling. The hospital or doctor where you get prenatal care can help you with that aspect. There is absolutely nothing horrible or gross about childbearing. You are still a beautiful person and you need to understand that. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about him. He doesn't understand and until he decides to change, he will continue to treat you as such. Tell him exactly how you feel and let him know that you are not going to tolerate his insensitivity. Give him a chance to explain himself, but if he still not willing to discuss the issue with you in a mature manner, be prepared to give him consequences. Give him the option of being the man he promised by getting you pregnant and proposing or having no part of your life. It is harsh, yes, but the situation will only get worse for you. You need his love and support more than ever now and he needs to be there for you.

Answer 2

First of all, stop being so hard on yourself. You are not just randomly gaining weight. You are carrying another person.

Rather than showing him how unattractive you now think you are, show him how beautiful it is to see a child developing inside you.

Remember, you are by far not the first woman to get pregnant. Every woman who ever gave birth has gone through the weight gain of pregnancy. I am not trying to say that it is easy, but you are really beating yourself up over something that is beautiful.

Get some books on pregnancy or at least look online and learn about what you are experiencing. You are not alone.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 3

Sit down with him and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Don't let this turn into a big problem. Now, I am not saying that you are overreacting because I'm not completely familiar with your situation, but do you think you might be perceiving the situation a little differently due to your hormones running rampant? Maybe, from his perception, you are pushing him away because you are sleeping on the edge of the bed, not close to him.

Answer 4

I think your hormones are just making you feel like that.
Hopefully after the pregnancy you get back to normal and you see it was just the way you felt now.
Wait until after you see if it is just the baby hormones to get married.
And sometimes after you have been together awhile things change. You both know each other will be there and are not worried, so all the new snuggling will go away ans you will be comfy just being next to each other. Maybe he holds you sometimes when you are already asleep.
Your self confidence will come back after your body gets back to normal.
Remember you and him are together and he loves you. but be sure that the relationship is how you want it before you get married because it wont change just because you are married.

Answer 5

I went through something similar. Unfortunately i waited until our second child to work through it and i regret it. I would suggest if it's still going on when the baby is born, to definitely try couples counseling. The first born and the first year are so hard, your kids are worth it, i would say give it a try maybe.

Answer 6

Find out more things you 2 have in common and start doing them like activities. Dont think of it as a job or just business or a chore. Do it because you love eachother and you both want things to change.

Answer 7

hey g/f.... here is what you do.

copy and paste this on to a word document, print it out and give it to him.

watch out after the baby is born because you are a prime candidate for post partum depression which totally SUCKS...

talk to your doctor now about what is going on with you

Answer 8

i imagine its just all part of being pregnant..