If i leave him then what?

Question

I have been married 5 years in love with my husband then he started hitting me every blue moon when his temper flared or i made him mad so i have decided its over and i told him he must move out i just cant take it anymore plus he has cheated on me over 20 times but as i sit and think when he does leave i have a feeling i am going to wonder who he is going to be with maybe she will be pretty and he will treat her right maybe he will even end up having more kids with another woman he ends up loving i feel jelouse?

Answer 1

you need to get out and get your kids out! he's an abuser and will continue to abuse, you the next one, the one after that....get out

Answer 2

You need to get out as soon as you can and never look back. You also need to go to a therapist or something and get professional help so that you can realize that for five years, you have been abused and humiliated. You are too good for that. What you want to end up, dead? So bruised and beaten that no one will recognize you? He does not care about you at all, so, why should you continue to care about him? He cheated on you more than 20 times, beat you and now you are worried about if he finds another woman who may or may not be prettier than you? Everyone would be considered prettier than you if you decide to go back to this man and get beat up every five seconds! You should count your blessings by getting out of there. Hopefully, when you move on with your life and away from this beater, that the next woman won't be supjected to this. And, if she is, God help her.

Answer 3

Make a new life for yourself. You are lucky that you have only wasted 5 years on him before you woke up to what he is doing to your life. See a counsellor and get a perspective on what he has been doing to you. No one should abuse another person in any way. He is not a person worth being with and you should leave him immediately. I am sure it will not be easy. Sometimes people can feel that the devil they know is better than the one they don't. But you would be doing yourself a great disservice if you stayed with him. You are worth more than staying there and being treated like that. After so many years of abuse you probably do not feel a great deal of confidence but there are support groups that will help you get your life back and make a new start. Life is too short to let someone destroy any of the precious moments available to you. I nearly died during my last 2 pregnancies from complications. The last one was the worst. So I certainly know how precious every moment of life is. Obviously your husband is not interested in changing. It sounds like he has had plenty of opportunity to do so. You certainly do not need your children believing that it is okay to abuse another person or to let another person abuse them. You also do not want your kids to learn that infidelity is part of a marriage. I am sure you want better than that for your children when they grow up and enter marriages of their own. For your own sake and that of your children be strong and leave him. I wish you every happiness in your new life and the willpower and strength to move on and away from the man who is holding you back and ruining your life.

Answer 4

the question is wht if you dont leave him you will waste a lot more of your time in anguish and agony . he already has others you should get someone new that will appreciate you . you may be jealous at first but remember he is not being good to you . better her than you right . that way there will be room in your life for someone wonderful wait and see. if you hang around it could be 20 years of wasted time energy and effort. its good you decided its over some of us wait until 20 years later and there goes your youth fun times you could have had , he will rob you of your selfesteem and make you a nervous wreck. and he will keep cheating. good for you to get away im proud of you.you dont need him women support themselves all the time and you can do it,i just know you can. dont be jealous there is no future in that. it holds you back from your own happiness. get out there girl

Answer 5

If that is what you think then it is obvious you do not understand abuse....

Abuse is not PERSONAL - an abusive person abuses WHOMEVER they are involved with..........AND, his abuse is not your fault - it has not a thing to do with being pretty or 'earning' his good treatment.

You need some serious help in coming to terms with this understanding and also raising your own esteem of self. EVERY human being deserves to be treated with respect and NOT be physically, emotionally, sexually or mentally abused or harmed.

Let this man go and count yourself as the lucky one who got away - before it is too late

See Below:

I GOT FLOWERS TODAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids?
What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I
had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.

*Special note : This is a powerful piece and should be shared with as many friends, male and female, as possible. You may never know who is suffering in silence, not knowing where to turn...*

Answer 6

Sounds perfect you want to leave him....

And so what if you see him with someone else
that looks better, his dumb butt would do that on
purpose to make you mad or jealous anyway that's
how they are (most men), and if he choose to have
kids with someone else, so what....

if you ever see him in that situation, you will be happy
no matter what she looks like or there kids look like
because you will be happy you let him go instead of
him letting you go for someone.... and you will know
for a fact he'll be treating her worst cause he'll be
missing you and looks aren't everything.... And always
speak to him or them if you ever bump into him that lets
him and her know your not trippin no more,,,, i know it will
hurt but it's too many guys out here, you want to do the
right thing because if he hits you, he REALLY dont care....

Answer 7

It is common to wonder about the other person. However, you already know what you need to do. Get out of the relationship immediately. Then take some time to concentrate on yourself. Focus on your needs and desires and let whatever happens to him happen. In time the hurting will end and you may find another love. Next time, I hope for you, it is someone who loves and respects you. You deserve it.

Answer 8

It's like they say..."Once a cheater, always a cheater." That also applies to abuse. They don't usually change. You deserve better than that. It probably won't be easy, but is this really what you want to live with the rest of your life? I doubt it. You shouldn't have to live fearing his abuse or that he's going to cheat on you....not to mention that diseases out there. Also, if you have kids, it's your duty to protect them and to stop the cycle. If you have a son, you're teaching him how women should be treated and same for a daughter. I'm sure you don't want that for your kids.

Answer 9

If you are more concerned if he is going to have more kids or treat the other one better, then you have no self-respect for yourself. The big PROBLEM here is that he is an abuser in every aspect. He hits you (abuses you physically) and cheats on you (abuses you emotionally). GET OUT of this vicious cycles now.

Answer 10

Christian Answers from Khalil Ahlee:
Answer: Take out some time and learn to love you. When you begin to truly love you, you won't allow anyone to disrespect or hurt you, and you really won't care who the next chic is, all you know and care about is it isn't you and you're so fabulous that you can find somebody to treat you with respect as you deserve. And no he's not going to treat the next chic better! The only mistake you made was not taking your sweet time in getting to know him.

Answer 11

get out of your situation before you get beat to death, you so much deserve better than this do you not? Is this the person you want as a dad for your children? He has your self confidence so low and self esteem, Kick him out find some one who will treat you well and do not be concerned what he does, counseling for you will help so much better, in no time at all you will be in a healthy relationship, enjoying life and feeling good about yourself, good luck and God Bless.