ok so i am a lesbian and..recently i've told most of my friends....
ok now.... most of them wanna make me change my mind..!! why are they doing this?? i mean i explained to them that i accepted it and understood it and that i feel ok like this...and they say that i think like this cuz i didn't found a guy by now...and that is NOT true!!! i love a girl and i CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH BOYS!!! and they don't get it.... what should i do to make them realise that i don't need a change...??? one of my friends(( girl)) said "it's not that u don't need a change.... u don't want to change cuz u could!!!".....
i explained that i was like this for 6 years...and still am..and that boys for me are like brothers...are like i don't know..it's not that attraction....they are just my friends...!!!!
telling them went great....!!!! ohh and my close friends know....
today i just told the girl i love that i am gay...but i didn't told her that i loved her..cuz she has a boyfriend.... so waiting 4 A
2007-02-22 04:23:24 · 11 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ohh btw....i am 17....
2007-02-22 04:23:47 · update #1
They're hoping that you'll be like them again. They don't realize that you're being honest about yourself and have no need, desire, or ability to change. The ones going through a phase is them. They are not able to accept you yet, and have to go through this, and put you through this, first.
Ask them when they made the decision to be straight, if they feel they could change, if they would want to change. Make them feel what you're feeling by asking questions like that. Hopefully they'll get it. You can also make a joke out of it: "At least we won't be looking at the same guy" or "You don't need the competition anyway."
I hope they grow up, but you'll probably be dealing with some variation of this all your life, sorry to say. I'm 32, and bi, and still being told it's "a phase"!
2007-02-22 04:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I went through that too. My friends were like, "well don't rule out all guys cause you haven't found one you like". But when you are gay, you know. Sure, it can be confusing at first, but you know who you are and they just need to accept it. A true friend will accept who you are, no matter if the think you are just going through a phase or not. Just stand by your sexuality. They'll just have to get used to it. Don't change who you are for anyone but yourself. If they don't like it, then they are the ones who have to change, not you. Hang in there.
2007-02-22 05:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by Xindy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They love you and care for you. They see you're making a choice now in your life that you will regret later on.
My stepdaughter told us she was gay when she was 16. We let her know that we loved her, that we cared for her, and we wouldn't support or be a part of her choice.
After a hard 6 years, she finally decided to give up that lifestyle and is now engaged to be married. She regrets the years that she now cannot get back.
You may think you are gay now, but keep your options open. You will probably want to go in a different direction when you get older.
Watch out on this board, since most here would tell you that your destiny is sealed, there's no other path you can take. That's just not true. They are using you for their own self interest.
Good luck.
2007-02-22 04:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by radical4capitalism 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Live your life be happy. Let your friends see that you are happy and that you feel fullfilled and you will find that they come to accept you for who you are. The will eventually stop trying to change you and start trying to fix you up with people. When that happens you will know that everything is okay between you and your friends.
2007-02-22 04:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Welcome to the world of being gay, sister. It's never going to change. There will always be people who criticize and patronize you because of your orientation. It's a fact of queer life. The trick is to build up enough strength within yourself to ignore their ignorance and love yourself. Remember this: you don't have to answer to anybody but yourself, and God (if you believe in him). To hell what everybody else thinks. I know exactly what you're going through though. I'm only 18 but I have had my share of people who say it's just a phase or that i'm saying I'm gay just to be cool and be rebellious. which is complete bullsh!t. Straight people will never understand the pain that gay kids have gone through, and I so f*cking hate it when they act like they empathize. I may not be very popular for saying this, but the truth is that (whether they admit it or not) most straight people don't like you and me, despite what they may say. We just have to be our best selves and fight.
2007-02-22 05:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Venus Mantrap 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing wrong with you. there's nothing wrong with me. whut christians (i mention them becuz they r usually tha ones that try to change us. either them or homophobes) don't understand is that sexual preference (whether u be str8, bi, or gay) is not a lifestyle choice. but becuz 'tha bible' and 'tha torah' say it's an abomination they love to use that excuse to try to run our lives. i kno, my gramma told me i have a demon in me. i'm surprised she's not tryin to have an exorcism performed lol. i left christianty becuz of this and many other reasons...i disagree with tha teachings of tha catholic and christian churches. i joined christ following (basically same as christian and catholic, jus that there is a diff in views of tha bible). anyway, back to this. it's great to be proud of who u r. i know i am, i am not goin back into that closet, they'll have to force me back in lol jk. yeah i know how u feel not bein able to tell sum1 how u feel. tha only diff between us is that u can talk to her...tha person i like i can't talk to becuz i barely know him now...it's a long story don't ask lol.
2007-02-24 09:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by andrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will want to change you no matter what or who you are. People want you to be more like them. People see the world through their own eyes, and usually do not understand people who do not see it as they do.
The best way to make people stop. Strive to be the best person you can be, and then be happy with your self. That will show to others, and they will then want to be more like you.
Good luck.
B
2007-02-22 04:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
They think you're going through a phase. A lot people assume this about people who aren't "adults" yet. They don't realize that sexuality is determined far before a desire for intimacy arrises.
2007-02-22 04:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Most homophobic people are so afraid of their own homosexuality that they want to change everything around them to what thay think is right
2007-02-22 04:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
injoy yourself sweety, have a good time and don't let other folks bother you. i know this girl who told her parents and they turned there backs on her.. there own kid, damm thats bad. just take your time sweety your life is before you and have fun. byeeee
2007-02-22 04:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by ♥lois c♥ ☺♥♥♥☺ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋