HELP - I am 48yrs and married I suddenly realise that I fell madly in love with another man.?

Question

He is married also and 45yrs of age. We are in a delima about our feelings for each other as it is growing everyday. We both have stable home with no misunderstandings with our partners. Our attraction is getting stronger and we want to make love to each other. We do not want to hurt any of our spouces but maintain the feeling for one another. The more we try to stop the more we find ourselves being attached to each other. What do we do
Maintain our relationship?
Make love to each other?
Elope and be together for holiday?

Answer 1

cease and desist immediately....you are on a train that will crash ....ever see a train wreck, that is your future.

Answer 2

Having a baby coming into the world can be stressful. While thinking on how to deal with this it's possible to lose touch with your feelings because you are overwhelmed. When you started chatting with a woman on the net it created a fantasy escape. If you ever loved your wife cut off all contact with this other woman. Deal with your current reality. Come up with plan for dealing with this new baby, talk to your wife if deep down you're afraid, you'll be a lousy provider or parent tell her. You two need to support each other. Don't assume that you have no feelings for your wife, assume that you are overloaded with feelings. It can be scary, especially if this is your first marriage or child. It's common to try to work the problem alone because you don't want to upset your wife or runaway because the problem seems too big. The more you sit on these feelings the further you will draw away from her. Assume that your wife loves you so much that she created a little life that's part you and part her and has a life full of potential. BIG SCARY SH--! But it's also FANTASTIC!! If you wade through the big scary you'll get to the fantastic but you have to do it TOGETHER!

Answer 3

You dont reference how long you have known him but past the whole feelings of excitement and newness; STOP and collect your thoughts. 1) Why did you get married in the first place? 2) What is going on at home that would make this person be more attractive? 3) if you turned your affections back towards home would you get the same excitement? I am not going to say that folks grow away from each other (gosh look at the divorce rate), rather the excitement is the rush right now and if you came home everyday to this new person and he threw his dirty socks on the floor too will you be in this same boat within a year? I would suggest an easy read (below). I think a man and woman can be very good friends without making love to each other. Do yourself a favor and pull back for a moment and fast forward about what your suggestions will do to your life...

Answer 4

The "good" news is you haven't done anything about it yet.

You have to stay away from the other guy, at least for now. You have to sort out your feelings with your husband before anything else. If you truly had a stable home, why are pondering cheating and possibly ruining a marriage YOU say has nothing wrong with it?

Speak to your husband about how you feel and tell your "guy friend" to do the same with his wife. I believe you're just bored and found a person to be bored with; you're not a teenager anymore so stop acting like one.

Answer 5

Elope are you delusional your both married, you need to stay away from him and if you can't then tell your husband you want a divorce chances are is that the other guy won't leave his wife for a quick piece of a** sorry but you are throwing yourself out there like a dog in heat!!!!

Answer 6

The fact that you were able to fall in love with another man seems to indicate that there must be a problem with your current marriage that you have not explored - obvious its not 'stable"(How long have you been married?) Unless you want to get a divorce (and if there are kids it could be 'messy"), I would recomment that you undergo marriage counseling between your husband and yourself. To be honest with your spouse is probably the best thing. To cheat behind his back , is the worst.

Answer 7

i think you should leave each other alone maybe not seeing each other will make things easier for the both of you. I don't think you guys should make love to each other because all your doing then is cheating on your spouses and that's not fair to them even if you do it behind there back. if you guys have no more feeling for your on spouses then maybe you should talk to your husband or wife and tell them how you feel instead of messing around behind there back, either way there feelings are going to get hurt but i would rather hear the truth then to have my spouse cheat on me. good luck

Answer 8

Ask yourself if this is love or lust. If it's lust, it's not worth it because it'll be over before it starts. Think this through before you decide to go through with an affair. You both may end up hurt and alone in the end, and for nothing.

Answer 9

its called lust, and theres a certain element of excitement involved in cheating, and sneaking about meeting a lover. but it won't last, as lust wanes, and if u build your foundation on just lust, your going to be disappointed. if u are lucky enough to be in a stable relationship now, count yourself one of the lucky ones, and stop your sored little affair, that probably won't last.

Answer 10

You need to be happy no matter what you Pick follow your heart If you Love this Man Be with him its your Life live it!!!!

Answer 11

selfish! you think you are the most attractive woman in the world? if ur husband was patient with you and never cheat, now you stab him in the back and cheat?. be patient like how he was with you bitchhh.