I need to know if I am being to over protective about this. He still finds me very attractive & tells me I am the most beautiful girl in the world. I have gained about 25 lbs. but, I am all stomach so the rest of my body still looks the same. Our sex life is great & if anything has been better lately. I find certain things he has looked @ on the computer & I caught him the other day "looking". I told him that it hurt me that he was looking & he told me he would stop. The only thing is, is that I don't mind if he does it w/ me. I would rather look & watch it w/ him. I just feel that if he does it w/ out me he is doing it to look @ the hot bodies (the body that I did have before). He told me it was just habit & he will quit since it hurt me so much. I can't help but, to feel like a hyprocrite about it. Am I in the wrong?
For mature persons only please! I don't need any sarcasm right now!!!
2007-02-22 03:37:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had the exact same thing happen to me, except it was before I got pregnant. I don't think it's hypocritical at all. I caught my husband looking at porn and then he wanted to have sex with me. I consider myself to be very liberal, but this bothered me a lot. I explained to him why (i.e. those women perpetuate an unrealistic sense of beauty) and that it just plain hurt my feelings. It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't like him looking at porn without you. Watching porn together can be a form of foreplay, but if he does it without you then it's taking you out of the equation. What you're feeling is a perfectly natural response that doesn't make you a bad person. Every woman is different and women will respond to porn in different ways. It doesn't make one way right or one way wrong.
It sounds like your husband is very understanding and respectful of your feelings (as mine was). You've got a keeper!
2007-02-22 04:03:26 · answer #1 · answered by poohb2878 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my DH & I were first dating, I had MAJOR issues with him and porn. He had magazines and movies like he was an adult bookstore stocker. He would tell me how he used to (before we were dating) go to strip clubs and drop several $100s. No way with me. I told him NO STRIP CLUBS. Period. Or I was outta there. He tried it once and I left (before we were married).
PLEASE understand that you are going through changes and that may be hard for him to deal with (and he might not know it). Many men are majorly turned on by their PG partners. You are getting into a fun time of your PG where you can both share the excitement of the new life you have created. Encourage him to get his hands on your belly and feel that little person moving around. It is more than a sexual attraction he has to you - it is majorly emotional, too (stronger than any physical attraction, IMO).
Videos are videos and magazines are magazines. They are not real - they are fantasy. Heck - point out to him where girls are obviously airbrushed. A classic was when I pointed out to him that the girl ont he cover of a movie had no belly button. lol. I'd start to get concerned if he is out at bars/clubs or is contacting people over the internet. Sex is sex. If you have no problem with him watching porn when you are there, then tell him. He'll get turned on just from you telling him you want to watch porn with him.
In the meantime, just know that he finds you attractive, that your body is beautiful (there is nothing more attractive then a pregnant woman), and in a few months you won't give a crap if you ever have sex again. Trust me on that one!
2007-02-22 13:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by BLONDAGE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been going through the same thing w/my babys father. He had went one step further, by masterbating on webcam to ppl on his list. I am 5 and a half months pregnant w/our first child, and had a rock hard body too. Although I am only stomach, I don`t always feel the sexiest. His selfish acts didnt help me, or the relantionship. I hardly trust him now, even though he has promised not to do it again. The internet is evil, it really is! We have a great sex life, until then too. Your not a hyprocrite, babe! Our bodies are going through changes, and our parnters need to understand, and respect that. Did they forget their the ones who made us pregnant? lol. Talk it out w/him, and if he does it again give him the boot, because he knowns how you feel about it, and still does it. Screw that!
2007-02-22 14:28:54 · answer #3 · answered by May-May`s mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With my husband I look at it this way: He's a good man, he works very hard everyday, comes home to me every night, and spends every weekend with me. He helps around the house, he does all the dishes, he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves and appreciates me. He doesn't do drugs, he doesn't drink, he doesn't party, he doesn't stay out late with his buddies. I would have no problem with him "looking" every once in a while. I know he's attracted to me and my pregnant body, but if he wants to look at disgustingly skinny girls with big boobs on the computer, why not? He doesn't love them, he's not going to leave me for some porn star.
2007-02-22 12:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by SavvyGrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not put too much stock into it unless you see it's preoccupying so much of his time that he ignores everything else. Otherwise, it is normal for men to look at porn, once in awhile. I am 7 months pregnant and I watch porno with my husband and sometimes he does it alone, on those rare occasions when he is at home alone. I am getting quite uncomfortable for sex because I am getting bigger, so he needs his release and I don't mind. I can count on one hand the times he has done it alone and he always tells me.
2007-02-22 13:04:50 · answer #5 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean but for me when I was pregnant with our daughter and we would go out I would catch him looking at other girls, and when I would say something hed say I was crazy. He told me all of the time how pretty I was but it still hurt my feelings. I just found out the other day that I am pregnant again and I know that I am gonna go through the same thing.
2007-02-22 12:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as it doesn't get out of hand and he is still more than affectionate with you and you guys still have an active sex life, I wouldn't worry to much about it.
The changes that happen to our bodies during pregnancy are hard to come to grips with and it doesn't get any better after we have the baby cuz then we are faced with losing the baby weight. I wouldn't get too upset about it.
Congratulations on the baby!
2007-02-22 12:08:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does the same, but he has an addiction. He is in the process of seeking counseling for it before it completely destroys our marriage. Is he still watching it after the talk? Was he watching it before you got pregnant? This could be a serious issue. You might want to sit him down and discuss this. I wish you the best of luck and congrats!!!!
2007-02-22 11:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of Three 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I caught me fiance looking at computer porn the other day and I thought it was hilarious. I am 14 weeks pregnant. I know that he finds me beautiful. He lets me know everyday. I also know that he doesn't want anyone but me.
If you are uncomfortable with it, sure tell him so much... but he is still a man doing "man" things.
I for one don't mind my guy looking at porn... but everyone is different
2007-02-22 11:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by hollilynn 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow hun you are having a lot of changes in your body right now...so this mix feelings are making you over react on this little stuff...I'm 5 months pregnant and what I just did for Valentines was: I bought sex games (of course something that is not gonna hurt the baby either) You should try to go with him and buy something for both of your "or" surprise him with somethin. I'm sure this will help a litle bit how you are feeling in this moment. and don't feel bad either "we" all been true this stage (trust me! this is my 3rd child) :) good luck
2007-02-22 11:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋