I'm 16 and I'm pregnant, should I keep my baby?

Question

I'm 16 and I'm pretty positive I'm pregnant. It's still early but I haven't gotten my period yet this month, I'm having mood swings and cravings, my lower abdomen has been aching and grumbling, and I have this feeling that I am pregnant. I have not told anyone yet except my best friend of the same age. My mother has always told me she would never want me to have a child. She will want be to abort it. If she does not support me I would have to move away to have it. I am very torn right now- I am ProChoice, but I don't know what my choice is. I don't want to kill my baby, especially since it was my stupid decision that concieved it. But having this child would change my whole life and probably halt my education. I don't want to be 'stuck' for the rest of my life. I don't want to regret putting my life 'on hold' any more than I want to regret not having this child. I am very confused and what I think I want changes daily. Help ?! (I have a doctor's appt today so hopefully they'll help...

Answer 1

I know how hard it is to be a pregnant teenager. I got pregnant when I was 17 and my due date was the same date as my graduation! But I was determined to finish school, and not let anything stop me. As far as your mother is concerned, she probably doesn't want you to have a baby (understandably so) but she can't force you to get an abortion and most of the time it may take a little while for them to get over the shock and anger but eventually they realize they are going to be a grandparent and are excited about it. (That's how my mom was)
Please, don't get an abortion, if it comes down to it just allow the baby to be adopted. Things will and can work out. Trust me I know :)

Good luck!

Answer 2

This is something that you definitely want to discuss with a doctor. A very serious thing. You are young and I am sure the feeling of having a mother who is not very supportive has to be very hard on you and have a HUGE impact on the decision that you will make. The fact is, a baby does not put a halt on your education. YOU put a halt on YOUR education. That child did not ask to be brought into this world, but he/she was put where they are for a reason. Whether, or not your mother, or any other people that you love, and think love you do not support you, should not impact you on who you can love. Your baby being one of those people. Being a mother does not end your life. Just because you're 16 and not 26, doesn't mean that you can't still be a great mother. Just follow your heart and pray. Ask the Lord to take this problem off of your hands, let him know that you know you've done wrong, but this doesn't make you a bad person. You will notice that He will answer you. Just remember, you are the one who has to live with whatever you chose to do for the rest of your life, not your mother, not your friend, nobody, but you.

Answer 3

hey darl my names elle i turned 16 in october last year.... i am curently 30 weeks pregnant only 10 weeks away from having my first baby, a son actually. While most people say there still with there partner blah blah blah im not he left me a few weeks ago and while that was the hardest time of my life i realise now that its all worth it because i get to meet this amazing child who is my flesh and blood. I am so relieved that i didnt have an abortion i have always been strong about not having abortions i think of them as pure murder there is no excuse. Your little daughter or son has a heart beat and a life planned for him aslong as u decide to keep him or her. Being pregnant is the most amazing and precious feeling especially when the bub starts moving its a feeling you can never explain to anyone. The reason i hate abortions is because what if u had one and then one day when u want to have children but you cant because something went wrong and u had the chance to give an amazing life to a child. If you are pregnant dont let your mothers or anyone elses views stop you from doing the right thing... And if you need support i am more then happy to talk to you because i can relate and honestly its hard but its sure as hell worth it. So contact me okay before u make any drastic decisions. Cya babe.

Answer 4

1. Find out if you are, it will put your mind at ease. Go to a store asap, and buy a test. If if it is neagtive move onto step 2, if it is positive, move to step 3.

2. If it is negative, use condoms, AND get on the pill. Or think of abstenance. Use this as a learning experience, and learn from it. Pregnancy is not the only thing you need to worry about.

3. If it is positive you need to talk to an adult you can trust. You do not need to tell your mom the day you find out, however you will at some point have to. There are many support places out there for people in your situation. Ask your doc, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

4. Abortion or keeping are not the only options. Adoption is a very good one to think about. So many people out there are unable to have children and would love to give your baby a happy loving home. There are open adoptions now where you can stay in touch with the family, or even be able to see the child once in a while.
You need to think of what is best for you and the child. I had my daughter at 16. It was very hard, I was able to finish school ( I was in grade 12 when I had her), went straight to work at a good job, but I did have to put college on hold for a few years. I was lucky my family was very supportive of me. You never know about your mom, I was so scared to tell my parents, they were very strict old fashioned church people, but the further I got the more supportive they were. You will need to think about alot of things. Are you able to provide for the baby? What about the father, even if he doesn't stick around, he is responsible for child support. Can you afford the diapers, formula and all the other things you will need? Welfare is not an option. Are you responsible enough? You wont be able to go out with your friends anymore, or do what you want whenever you want. You will be home with a crying baby while everyone else is out having fun. You will need to be an instant adult, becasue this liuttle one will need you. If you can't do all these things, think about adoption. You can choose the family, and feel comfort in knowing they can give your baby all the things you may not be able to. Sometimes love just isn't enough.
Only you can decide, but please find an adult you can talk to, a guidance councilor, your doctor, a pregnancy crisis center. There are people out there that can help you, you just need to look for it, and ask for the help. And don;t give up on your mom just yet, sometimes they can surproise you! Just make sure you think very hard about everything before you do it, so you don't do something you might regret. If you think hard, you will make the right choice for you and your baby.
Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I myself am also Pro-choice. I also would not want the baby aborted. BUT since this is like under a month I would say have it abort, with the morning after pill if that is possible. But how does the father play into this? Is he able to help as in being the father? You are all so young and having a baby IS going to change your life at least for the next 18 years.This is a decision YOU have to make. Just know that it is expensive and your life as a teen is over. Take your time and make the right decision, Good Luck.

Answer 6

Adoption would be a great choice for you, if you truly are pregnant. I am adopted and have 2 adopted kids and all three of us could have been aborted because our birth moms did not feel it was the right time to have a child. You seem to say you do not want to kill your child- so don't. I know it will be hard to tell your mom, especially if she will pressure you to abort. My son's birth mom moved from her hometown and we helped with her medical expenses. I have a suggestion, find a pregnancy help clinic in your area, they can help you make this life long decision. Abortion is not a quick fix, believe me- it can cause physical, emotional and spiritual risks to you for a very long time, if not the rest of your life. You seem like you realize that it is not the "baby's fault" that you put yourself in the position to get pregnant in the first place. 16 is young, but adoption is there for you as a great option. By the way, if you want to email me feel free- I counsel at a pregnancy hep clinic, and maybe I can help you. Get a pregnancy test first. Take care

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear of your dilema! It sounds like you still have some time to think it over since you are so early in the pregnancy.
No doubt that by having this child it is going to create a lot of drama in the household and many challenges and frustrations in your life. It's up to you to discover in yourself if you're up for the challenges. If you are truley ready to be a parent, if you are willing to sacrifice your present lifestyle to stay at home with your baby. If so, I believe this change will make you a very strong person, your mom will forgive you and come around after she has dealt with the situation. In the end you will gain so many things, and so much experience - but are you willing to give up what you have now?

You are right about delaying your education. Are you willing to put school on pause, with the risk of never returning in order to take the responsibilities of raising a baby?

It may sound like I am leaning towards the solution of abortion, but I am not. I'm not leaning to either sides. It's up to you and only you. There are also risks of aborting the child, like you mentioned - remorse, depression, feeling like you made the wrong choice, and never forgetting.

I hope that you receive support from all your loved ones in either choice you make. Good luck!

Answer 8

First of all, you should wait to find out if you are even pregnant before you stress about this. Your symptoms could be real or could be caused by stress or your upcoming period.

If you are pregnant, you need to figure out what is best for you. That's what choice is all about. There is another option that it seems like you've ignored -- adoption. If you don't want an abortion, but are not ready to raise a child (which I don't think you would be at 16!), you should consider adoption. It would be the best thing for you and your baby if you don't want an abortion.

Do NOT listen to the CRAZY Pro-lifers who will try to sway your decision! It's your body and your life -- YOU are the only person who will have to live with the deicision that you make!

Good luck, I hope you're not pregnant! And PLEASE use TWO forms of protection when you have sex in the future!

Answer 9

Wait until you hear what the doctor has to say. Sometimes stress can cause a missed period. I had a baby when I was eighteen and it was very difficult. I am thirty four now, and she is sixteen. You have to make the decision for yourself. You should go to the library, talk to the father, and know that you shouldn't let anyone else tell you what to do. You will make the right decision, just make sure it's your decision, you are the one who has to live with it the rest of your life. Good Luck and Everything will be ok, no matter what you decide. You will get through it!

Answer 10

This will be the biggest decision of your life and only you can make it. I had my daughter at 18, and my sister was 15. She is in nursing school right now and works as a pharmacy tech. So it can be done.
I am a wetland biologist.
The balance can be found it is just really hard, and if you have this baby do not count on sleeping for the rest of your life.
But having a child is the most precious gift you can get. So if you feel you are ready then do it.
If you are not ready and do not want an abortion there is always adoption.
Let us know what the doc says and my prayers are with you.
I am pro-choice as well, but when it came down to it.... I couldn't do it.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 11

Your not the only one who has to deal with this problem, I have a few friends that have gotten pregnant, and only one decided to abort, and she regrets it beyond belief. although the child was a mistake it was meant to happen and the baby at least deserves a chance. you could give it away and allow it to be adopted or just keep the child and go through the dificulties of both school and child caring. you could always switch to homeschool and with that you could take care of the child and still get and finish your education but honestly i have no idea as to what you should do, it is entirely your decision... and not to be mean or pushy or this or that but honestly think what you would feel like if your mother never allowed you to be born...