I am recently divorced (legally), but have been living single for 8 months. Before that, there was talk of divorce for 3-4 years. My ex has been dating someone else for 2 years and we haven't had anything that resembles a loving relationship for a long time. My point in saying all this is that it is essentially as if I've been divorced for 3 years, but legally for only 3 months or so. I am a Christian and I prayed to God to help me move past all the bad feelings I had for my ex before I considered dating again. I did and I've been dating someone for about 1.5 months now. I know I've found my soul mate. We've but have already discussed marriage, kids, finances, (all the things you should discuss before marriage, etc.) I know that my coworkers and family will all say I'm crazy or rushing, but I don't think I am. I have never felt as close to or in love with anyone else. We pray and worship together and have a great love and respect for each other. Thank you for your advice.
2007-02-22 02:36:18 · 18 answers · asked by seeking_advice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, my ex started dating while we were still living together. The primary reason that we stayed married for so long is that we were both college students and couldn't afford to divorce or live apart. It was really hard for me to get used to the idea of being divorced as well and I fought it for a long time. Once I finally accepted it and moved on, I had such a peace that was really wonderful. The woman that I'm with now is everything I could have ever asked for. She is opposite my ex in so many ways. I believe it is possible to meet someone and know they are the right person for you within a short time. My ex and I dated for almost two years and see how that worked out... There were signs back then that we shouldn't have gotten married, but in my immaturity I ignored them. Now being older and wiser, I know what to look for and I'm confident in my current choice. The puppy love isn't there, but real deep love as well as respect for each other and God. Thanks again.
2007-02-22 02:56:18 · update #1
You sound very matured and God fearing. Since both of you are already praying about it and have left it in the hands of God, please go ahead. The God whom you serve is a living one and will never disappoint you. May His blessings be upon you.
2007-02-22 02:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by gabriel j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although people can, and do, have lasting marriages after only knowing each other for a short period of time, I think that you are rushing into things. You have only been living on your own for 8 months, but you say that your ex has been dating someone for 2 years. The math doesn't work out. Was she dating someone while you two were living together? Why did you talk about divorce for 3 years without doing it? Something must have stopped you. If this woman is truly your soul mate after 1.5 months, she still will be in 6 more months. Give it time.
2007-02-22 10:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this question - do you feel ready to move on? The first few months of being with someone is full of wonder and excitement and so much happiness - especially if you didn't have those feelings in your last relationship. It sounds like you have a wonderful partner now and if things are meant to be, then go for it! If you both feel the same then why waste time? If you are worried about family and coworkers reactions, maybe get engaged and keep it to yourself for awhile until everyone is more used to the idea of you being with someone new. Everyone will be happy for you if this person is the right one for you!! Best of luck
2007-02-22 10:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by kimiq_ca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the both of you (You and your current partner I mean) feel it's right and want to get engaged/married, then do it.
There will probably be other people questioning it, and a lot of people will probably think it is to fast.
But all that matters is what the two of you want.
For me personally, I'd need to know and be together with a person for a lot more than 1,5months before making such a decision.
2007-02-22 10:41:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say wait! You just got out of a relationship, yes you say that you haven't had one for 3 years but it really has only been three months. A great love and respect will wait for you and marriage is something I believe you have to grow into not rush into.
2007-02-22 10:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your soul mate than you both can wait another year at least. As you have proven in the past you are not the best at character judgment which is why you are divorced. Take your time. Don't screw up another marriage!
Don't mean to sound harsh but its true!
2007-02-22 10:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Gyasi M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's too soon.
It's natural to feel this way after being in a dead-end relationship for so long. After a bad experience, EVERYTHING looks erfect and wonderful. Be careful and atke it slow. Your friends are right, is too much, too soon, to fast.
Give you time and give her time to show her true colors. See how the relationship develops. Remember, everything is wonderful at the beginning ... don't rush.
Good luck
2007-02-22 10:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are at a vulnerable stage in your life. Maybe if you do get engaged you should plan a Wedding for a year down the road. Give yourself a little more time. If it is true love it will last.........take your TIME.
2007-02-22 10:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by miss_late_nite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. I new when I met my soul mate, and it's great isn't it. Last thing I ever worrie about is what other think. What are they doing to make our bills, or put food in our bellys, or just holding us when we need to be held. I SAY GO FOR IT>>>>>>>>>
2007-02-22 10:49:41 · answer #9 · answered by russell c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is worth having you can wait One full year before getting married......... That gives you + her time to learn more about each other.... and will I hope not have to go thru another divorce
2007-02-22 10:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋