I think a baby should be put in its own bed every nite in the same home for security. What do you think?

Question

My niece has a 1 month old baby girl and they took her home, and now they spend the nite at her grandmothers house, then they go to the grandfathers house and spend the nite, then they take her home, then back to grandma's house for a couple of days.
Its my opinion the child will not have the familiar safety of the same crib, the same house in the same place every nite, so it will be come like its cousin hard to get to go to sleep. I think a schedule is important and this baby is going to be hauled here, there and everywhere and never get into a routine.
When my kids were babies, they knew what the bedroom meant and when I put them in their crib, they went quickly to sleep, I think it was a learned behavior and the security of knowing they were in their own bed in a familiar place. Am I wrong?
The parents of this baby are not kids, they are 24 and 29 yrs old. They are very immature. I think the baby is going to be packed everywhere and never have the security of home. comments

Its not an in your business thing, Its a help them figure out what to do with this screaming baby. She was starving her to death because she didnt have the sense to give her a bottle. They have already been in the ER with this little cutie because she didnt know what to do.

Answer 1

She should be telling the grandparents that they can come over and stay the night at her place if they want to see the grandchild.

Answer 2

My parents split when I was little and I slept all over the place, my mom's, my dad's, both my grandparent's I am fine.

In fact THE MORE sleep associations a baby has the better. If your baby will only sleep after a bath in your tub, a bottle (or breast), the walking around the room and rocking then being put in the same crib, with the same music. You will have a problem. Someday one of those things won't be there for some reason. Or someday that routine will stop working and you will have nothing else.

There is absolutely no harm that comes from having different bedtime routines, as long as the bedtime stays more or less the same.

As for the other things. If you are really concerned refer them to a parenting class or CPS. However I somehow doubt that the grandparent's also have no clue. Some parent's also rush to the ER over the least little thing, a know a woman like that went to the ER 4 times her last month of pregnancy because her kick count was off by one, or he was active at a different time then the day before. Then you can only imagine how many times she went to the ER the first 6 months after she had the baby. That's her choice.

Answer 3

I believe that a routine in the same house is IDEAL. But, in todays world, it is not always possible. And even in larger families, babies sometimes sleep at different grandparents homes or aunts and uncles. The baby will be fine. You can still have a routine as long as everywhere the child sleeps abides by those rules...being put to bed at a certain time for example.

Answer 4

At one month, the baby is pretty much going to be on a 3-4 hour cycle. They wake up, eat, you change the diaper, play with them for a bit, and then it's back to sleep. The schedule aspect won't become a major thing for a few months.

But as far as sleep habits, I think a child will actually learn to sleep better if you don't try to have everything just perfect. If you try to keep everything totally quite while baby is sleeping then they will likely wake at the slightest noise when they are older. As far as where they sleep, it's not so much that they are in the same bed every night but that they are allowed to sleep when it's time to sleep.

Answer 5

When babies are that young they are not alert enough or smart enough to realize "where" they are sleeping.

When babies get a little older; from 2-3 months they rely on a routine to feel secure, they tend not to enjoy being "out" of the daytime/nightime routine they are used to.

If they continue to keep carting the baby around, the baby will not have a security of routine and may be a little harder to handle in the scenario's of bedtime, naps, comforting etc.

I agree, that the parents should be a little more responsible. Once every few weeks is fine in order for the parents to have a break but the way you explain sounds a little unfair to the baby.

Answer 6

Babies are very portable and they adapt to most anything except abuse. Everyone has different ways. As long as Mom and Dad are there and they have a roof over their head then the baby is fine. I think you are critical of them and want them to do things the way you did but they are not you. What you did doesnt matter-they will make thier own way. A child can have a routine even while traveling or when thier parents have wanderlust. Kids will adjust to it and may really like the fact that they get to go lots of places and stay the night.

Answer 7

Yes, I agree with you. My daughter has only spend 1 night away from home in 22 months. She is the best sleeper; sleeping 12 hours at night and still takes two naps consistently. I really think that consistency is the key. Babies do need a routine to develop a sense of security, knowing that they can expect certain things to happen at certain times with regularity. I know it's different strokes for different folks, but I honestly think that the child will suffer some developmentally if this continues.

Answer 8

Your neice has the familiar consistency of her parents, that's all she needs. Stop worrying, sleep location is a non-issue. In my opinion, a child who has such rigid consistency is harder to get to sleep and has no flexibilty in their scheduling. At my wedding, my cousin brought her 6mo baby, cool, no problemo....then came "naptime". She actually drove ALL the way home which was over 45min away to put the baby in *her* crib, otherwise she wouldn't sleep. That's friggin ridiculous. Like I said, Mom and/or Dad are ALL that baby needs for comfort and security.

Answer 9

I would think the problem is more that the baby is still a month old and hasn't yet settled into sleeping well. Before my son was a month old, I'd taken him on three separate trips to Kentucky, Tennessee, and Ohio. He slept in hotels, grandparents' homes, and other family's homes. He did just fine.

Answer 10

I TOTALLY agree with you. My daughter is in her own bed every night. And she is 10 months old! I would never even think of letting her sleep anywhere else until she has a VERY well established bedtime routine. that is just begging for trouble to be mixing it up like that.
They can make the argument at that young age that the baby does not know one bed from the other and is too young for a routine. But if they keep up that sort of behavior, there is going to be trouble.......they need to get the baby settled and acclimated to her own bed BEFORE they even think about any overnight trips. and even then, the overnights should be few and far between.

I agree with you 100%

Answer 11

I agree. Children need a routine, they need a sense of comfort. It's best to start early rather than later. Heck, watch Supernanny and you'll see what happens when kids don't have any sort of rules. It also helps the parents, because once you start that routine, you'll get used to it and everything will be easier.