Last year my husband started to get really close to one of our son's friend's mom. It started with him going on a kayak ride with him and 2 days later he told me again that he was goingwith her. Once I told him I wasn't comfortable with that, he didnt go, but that there was nothing going on. He related my concerns to her and she said she didnt want to be in a triangle. After that they were talking on the phone for long long talks and even after I told him that I didnt like it he kept on. He tells me that he enjoys talking to her and that if it means our marriage he would stop, but that he didnt think it was fair. I finally told him it was ok, but in actuality, I'm not and I think that she has stepped over the line, knowing how I felt and she still calls or accepts his calls. Im afraid to tell him again how this bothers me because I dont want another fight and I also feel bad that she is one of his few few friends.
2007-02-22 01:47:38 · 20 answers · asked by V S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she has told him that I don't trust him and that her friend thinks that I spy on him
2007-02-22 02:15:26 · update #1
She has also told him that I have no self esteem and she even invited him over that house.
2007-02-22 02:16:13 · update #2
A young, needy divorcee friends with your husband, dangerous combination. Stop being so wishy washy with how you feel. You act as if to appologise for how you do not like your husband conversing with this other woman. You need to grow a spine and stand your ground. Your husband and this divorcee obviously know they can play cat and mouse with you. They both know what they are doing is wrong and they are making you believe that it is not. Perhaps nothing has happened between them yet, but why take that chance? Your husband is being very insensitive in regards to your feelings, and is more concerned with her friendship. This should tell you something. You must make it clear to your husband that he is to discontinue any contact with her as it is wrong and you will no longer tolerate it. No more excuses, no more games. After this, keep your eyes open. The saddes thing is to have sight but to not be able to see. I agree with you, she has over stepped her boundaries, but remember, she does so because your husband allows her to do so. Come on, stop second guessing yourself and see the writing on the wall. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-22 02:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...I don't think any woman should share her man like this. That is essentially what you have been doing, if you have given them the freedom to actually go on outings and do fun stuff together. Why aren't you doing these things with him? Maybe you are, but your question didn't make that real clear. Yes, they could just be friends and she is lonely, because she has no one and found a kindred spirit in your husband. However, their time should be limited and she should respect you in all of this. If he hadn't said something, maybe it would have led to something more. I think you have a right to know what is going on if you are not present and you have been very understanding...more so than a lot of women would have been. At this point, I think you did the right thing and you have every right to have your husband with you. She needs to find a man of her own and this may be the little push she needs. Maybe when she does, you could all go out together, but until then, I would allow her to cool off and move forward on her own : ) Best wishes!!
2016-05-23 22:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look she may need someone to talk to, might you try to invite her over and befriend her as well? You husband sounds like a good man, he didn't go when you told him how you felt and even though she still calls I don't think he is being anything more then a friend.
You might like to hang out with her once you got to know her and could end up having a great new friend.
When I divorced I had a good male friend who was married, I had no interest in him sexually at all, I just valued his opinions.His wife was unsure of me at first but she and I are now the best of friends. I am glad she was open and didn't reject my friendship to her husband, because then I wouldn't have the friend I do today, she is like a sister to me.
2007-02-22 01:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first yes a man an a women can be friends, but both need to know where friend starts, now some going to tell you a lot of hog wash, that men an women cant be,,, but if a man love his wife, he not going to step over the line ,to a point, but honest men are weak, an if only then if a womem open the gate to say, most would walk in, too , that go for women married to men, if a man open the gate the same would happen, no take gf , it mean she a girl an a friend,,,, now it sound like she just leanning on him ,,am too she may have some thing on her mind, honest we dont read other minds,,, but if you think something going on, ,, just watch for a change in his action,
2007-02-22 02:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This woman has no business talking to your husband like this, she sounds like a home wrecker, confront this woman at once,, and as for your husband he has no business making a friend like this, he is being a very selfish jerk,,,, i would not put up with him doing this. You need to ask yourself why you are afraid to tell him how you feel, if he doesn't quit talking to this woman than it is over between the two of you. Like i said this isn't how a marriage is suppose to be. If it hasn't happened yet it will come to cheating.. and in a sense it has emotionally. You need to get more confidants and self respect, don't come second to anyone.
2007-02-22 01:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to a very good freind. They were on a community board together. He soon left his wife for her. Be prepared. Better still, find a divorced guy to hang out with. See how he likes it.
Email me your number. I will get my brother to call you a few times. When is the best time so that your husband is sure to answer?
2007-02-22 02:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by charlie girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know abut your hubby but I used to look for recent divorced gals because they were very ready. Also for recent widowed as they also will be very willing.
No I am not married. Tried that once and sure was glad to get rid of it.
Abut yours I can't say what is going on but the chanses are quite high that if not now it will.
Have fun.
2007-02-22 02:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this woman's whole game is to make u look bad and make herself look good, so she can sway him her way. she does this out of meanness, to show u she can, kind of a bold thing. as if u and her are in this competition for your husbands affections. seems since she found out that u are uncomfortable she is going to make a game out of it, instead of doing what a normal person would do and gracefully stop calling him. she has no respect that he is married and to u. be prepared eventually to get a divorce over this, all affairs begin with being friends.
2007-02-22 02:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She’s looking for a rebound and it sounds like your husband is up for the challenge. Once you’re in a committed relationship with someone there is no reason why he is making new female friends. Especially single ones.
2007-02-22 02:22:43 · answer #9 · answered by tays232003 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's simple! She neeeeeeds and appreciates him and he likes it. Show your husband how much you neeeed and appreciate him and he'll back off from her. Give your husband sex, sex and more sex. Ask him for advise all the time and go overboard telling him how much you appreciate how great he is. Go kayaking with him. Participate in other activities with him....you know, the stuff he does and you never show any interest...
2007-02-22 01:58:13 · answer #10 · answered by Doright 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋