What would you do if you were told this?

Question

My father and I had a huge argument. He basically told me I was a disapointment. And in all of his yelling, he gave me the ultimatum of moving out or following his rules. The thing is, I follow his rules, but he still yells. I stay pretty much depressed because of him yelling me. And I am really thinking about moving out. I'm 17, have a place to stay, and a job. I just don't have the guts to leave my mom. Its confusing to me, what would you do?

Answer 1

I left home when I was 17 due to a verbally abusive step-parent and a very difficult home-life, and have turned out just fine. My step-dad also gave me an ultimatum to leave; so I said "Fine", packed my bags up and went to stay with my father for awhile. I was basically a good kid, got good grades in school, kept out of trouble, but nothing I did was good enough. If this is affecting your sense of self esteem and your well-being, and if you have a place to live and can support yourself, I would definitely consider moving out for awhile. It really all depends on how mature you handle the situation. If you are strong enough within yourself to say, "He is wrong in the way that he treats me, and he is the one with the problem" than you WILL be fine.

And for what it's worth, I love my mom to death too, but she puts up with an awful lot from my step-father in terms of his mood swings, alcohol abuse and depression and withdrawal issues. Your mom is an adult; if she wants to leave, she can choose to do that for herself. I always stayed close with my mom, and she understood why I left. You might talk to you mom before you move out and explain why you feel you must make this decision for yourself. You can encourage her to leave if you feel this would be in her best interests, too, but like my mom, if she chooses to stay where she is, that's her choice. Once we got past all of my step-father's "issues" and they came to understand that I was an adult, we could get along as adults. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I moved out when i was young, i regret it now. My dad yelled at me all the time. I wish I had never moved. You should stay and just deal with the yelling. Stay at home and go to college. It is hard to find a good job at 17 or 18. Think of where you want to be in 5 years. You can't get there alone or with a low income job. You have to have experience to be paid well. The yelling eventually stops and they get old. My dad changed a lot since I was 17. Find an activity to do like the gym or something constructive. Maybe make your mom part of it. Just don't move unless it's causing you physical harm. Forgiveness and Understanding is something to focus on. I was 17 and 18 and had a new car, a job that paid good and I would trade it for going back and staying home to finish school. I am going it's just taking longer and years of experience are going by.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

I'm not sure as to what the arguement was about but let me tell you this, Don't be depressed(it's not healthy for you anyway) about the yelling and arguing that always happens between parents and teenagers, no matter what. Your only 17, you'll be 18 soon, so just let the yelling and arguements slide. Focus on your future, finish school and enjoy being with your family while you can it won't always be that way(and besides that you've already made it this far). Good Luck to You, I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

hi,
first own up to the truth are you ready to move out? are you fighting with him to have to excuse that he doesn't want you there to give you the reason to leave. and if you feel that it is time to go why are you using you mom as a reason to stay? so many times people want to leave home but are afraid to do it for what hey call the hidden reasons, all kids argue with there parents and have heard that statement. and feel that they are doing just what there parents are asking of them when it comes down to it not just the child but the parent are both in flat. i say move and learn just how hard if is to be on you own. but remember that once you make a mistake you can not change that mistake. and at you age i feel it would be a mistake if you move out. then again i could be wrong i have been before.

Answer 5

Do not make excuses....take mom with you....if you can;t , try and save yourself. Just be sure you are making every effort to get along. Dad's can be unreasonable, but so can teenagers...if this is a battle of wills, no one will win.....try to work things out without yelling, and if you can't, you must decide on what you can and can't live with.

Answer 6

your young to move out! just respect the rules and understand what your dad really wants in your life. have a father and son's talk.. tell him what you want and ask him what's really the problem why his head up on you all the time. dont think of going out on that age, you still need your parents! a bit of understanding, patience, and love! show them your real color, not d dark side but your bright side! God bless!

Answer 7

Well people say things in anger all the time they don't mean. Give it time to cool down, then ask him directly is he really disappointed in you. If he says yes, then he should be disappointed in himself because he is no better then you. And he made you with your mom, so it would seem that he is the disappointment. You are special, God made you. And don't let anyone tell you any different.

Answer 8

why should argue with your father in the first instance, if your father is trying to correct you (even though you did not tell us the cause of the argument) you suppose to listen to him because he is talking from experience and because God has given him charge to trian up his child the way he/she should go & when he grow he will not depart from it.

so your father is doing his responsibility by advising you, you need not argue.

at 17 you want to move out. i dont think its advisable for you to do that now and you should also consider you mom

Answer 9

I would talk to your mother. Maybe for your sake she wants you to move out. Maybe she can help explain your dad. Sorry youre going through this. Just remember "this too shall pass."

Answer 10

Well,
I'd move out! I'm going through a problem kinda like that!