Married to him 19yrs.Firstly, he convinced me to quit my job & work for him but I realised he doesn't introduce me to his friends or allow to ask his whereabout after 3 years of feeling being taken advantage I finally quit. Everytime, I get a job he will not be able to concerntrate on his business. He will spy on me and make me feel that it's difficult to work as I have to make sure meals are already, house must be tidy, children has to been fully taken care off. He'll question my son & create stories to his friends accusing me of seeing someone.
I have been very careful in choosing my work. In order to cope with all the chores I work as kindergarten teacher/part time tele-marketer / data entry clerk. I make sure my bosses are all ladies. I need to work as I need to have some space and extra pocket money.
Since I have 2 boys age 15yrs and 10yrs. My sisters and friends agree that I should work but all of them don't like to his behaviour.
2007-02-22 01:28:29 · 7 answers · asked by Noel Yelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Based on what you are saying it seems that you are perhaps forty-something? Is that correct? You have one child soon to be an adult in most states and the other is growing fast. Perhaps it is time to find out about the spiritual side of our human existence.
Spiritual wisdom, enlightenment, and knowledge will help you to tolerate your husband and anything you encounter. When you go to a doctor for help with a health condition he gives you a prescription or some procedures to follow. Similarly, we are trapped in the material entanglement. What is the solution for relief? You need a process. The best process in existence is Dharma and Yoga.
Dharma means accept rules and regulations regarding our living. We work according to our nature, but we invest as much of our earnings as may be possible on our spiritual advancement. Yoga is the same, but a more concentrated system. The ultimate achievement of both Yoga and Dharma is the same and that is Bhakti. Once you have achieved Bhakti then you automatically are all good and all virtuous. You no longer need to worry.
Joining a philosophy discussion group is a good idea, but don't succomb to any atheism in a group like that. Bhakti is the new goal in your life.
2007-02-22 01:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by devotionalservice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, do not let him continue to treat you this way! You are better than that. Your kids are old enough that they will understand. Make sure you still have him to have contact with the kids, your kids are old enough to accept the fact that they have a working mom. But, your husband seems to not realize that he shares some responsibility with house cleaning and such. Get away from him while your still capable of making something for your life.
2007-02-22 01:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, this is just a course of the life. I am from India and if you were you would know most women are house wives. But you need to understand this is a part of life and things come and go. Just take it easy and comply with him but also take him to a nice restaurant and sit him down, and pour out all your problems to him. Tell him you need some help. You need his cooperation to make things smooth. He needs to trust you to go ahead with his ideas. You see... its the way we put things across to the men in our lives. If we excel at that then nothing can come across us. Its how we interact with these men. They tend to see women as the weaker half but we can also tell them in a sweet way that we wives are their priceless princesses and they have to know that their wives are brainy and need to be given a chance to prove.
I am sure its all the way we think and act. If we are confident and able to juggle home and work then you know what? We come under the bracket of being a super mom. My dream is to be a super mom when I marry. Take care of my man and do my own thing. Thats how confident we women can be. Best of luck and I hope this small cloud of problem settles its dust, and you continue on your way to being accomplished.
2007-02-22 01:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The clue here is you called him homely. This man doesnt trust you and its out of control. And I am sure you dont love him as you called him homely. Why not get a divorce. You dont love him. and hes a control freak. Both recipes for disaster.
2007-02-22 01:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont sound like a wife youre more of a possession. I wouldnt get jobs to please him I would get counseling with him to see if his behavior can change. If not, pray about it and let him know this isnt going to go on the rest of your life. Good luck and dont let him strip your self esteem away any farther. He sounds like a complete jerk.
2007-02-22 01:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by My_Two_Centz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is an emotional abuser.
http://lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/
You both need counseling. Abusers do NOT stop until they've gotten help.
2007-02-22 01:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by punchy333 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him. He is incurable.
2007-02-22 02:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋