My husband and I are contemplating divorce after 18 years and a 2 year affair. We both agree that we are comfortable and have a history and a child, so it is hard to let go. He says that is afraid of being bankrupt and letting go of something that he shouldn't. He's afraid of being alone and that things won't work out with the other girl. Are these common fears? What were/are your fears?
2007-02-22 00:46:29 · 13 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was deathly afraid of being alone. Then somebody told me something very wise.
It's better to feel alone when you are alone than when you are with somebody.
2007-02-22 00:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being alone, but after all that time the fear of starting all over at an older age makes it harder. You kinda realize
men are the same, just different names. The only bright side is meeting new people that could be an advantage, getting to date again, if you've been married for 18 years I know you haven't been taken out by your husband, only
his girlfriends get that. I've been married 15 years of
well let's just say, I know what you are going through
2007-02-22 01:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he should not have had an affair that cause your relationship to break up. He can always dump the girl and try to save his marriage but those are common fears the fact that being alone is the worst but seeing how he already has someone else then that shouldn't be a problem.Mine would be losing the man i love and him not being a part of my life because i love him so much it would tear me apart to ever lose him, but i wouldn't go down without a fight. Again that is just my opion,of what i would do.
2007-02-22 01:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These absolutely are common fears. Money and a new lover. Then throw in the problem of the kid.
Work together so you guys split the money and the "suck you dry" lawyers do not wind up with more than either one of you. Divide the kid too. Make each equally responsible and no child support payments. Isn't love divine. Sounds like he found a real catch a girl so desperate she has to go after a married man. Wish him luck.
2007-02-22 01:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fear of being alone is the biggest. And then the fear of having no money is the other. But you sound like you are at a mature enough age to handle this. Be cordial towards each other for your child's sake.
2007-02-22 00:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's your problem if it doesn't work out with the other woman. or he's bankrupt. It's his problem he should have thought of that before he slept with her. And kept it going for 2 years. You deserve someone who is faithful. Sorry needed to get that out. Anyways I was with my ex for 11 years and my biggest fear was not being able to support myself financially since he was the bread winner. but you do what you have to do and you will be fine. Get rid of him. good luck
2007-02-22 01:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who gives a damn about his fears...HE had an affair and he should have thought about the consequences before he dipped his willy where he shouldnt have. Do not give in to his pity parties. Tell him to face his fears with his mistress. MY only fear when I was facing divorce was that the judge would continue the hearing instead of granting the divorce IMMEDIATELY!!
2007-02-22 00:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being alone, having financial problems and not being able to care for myself (disabled). Its very scary - but the alternative is to stay in an abusive relationship so.....I guess the fears have to be conquered.
2007-02-22 01:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My biggest fear was what if I can't make it financially. My mother told me people will get themselves in financial debt, get out of it and it's going to happen again and again. That's very true. I've yet to have financial problems but if i do, I can only do the very best I can to get out of it. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over but that doesn't mean we should give up trying.
2007-02-22 00:59:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being alone, financially unstable and things could not work out with the other party after some time.
2007-02-22 01:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being alone, being financially broken and losing time with children seem to be the biggest fears.
2007-02-22 00:51:58 · answer #11 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋