I know I do this because my mother died when I was 10 and my father was an alcoholic. I seemed to come through most of this ok..I have a good career, 3 children, husband nice home...The problem is my husband is like my dad..emotionally distant. I am in sales . I love being around people. I like the attention i get from men ...I know this is not good..Please help me!
2007-02-22 00:00:47 · 9 answers · asked by janetw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u have a low self worth because your dad was not there for u emotionally so u seek your self worth from these men, but your self worth really comes from within yourself, and within your relationship with god. these men define how u feel about yourself how u get your self esteem, but after awhile these men will only disappoint u, and when they do u will take it very hard and feel it is your fault. get some therapy to boost your self worth.
2007-02-22 00:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you do it and what the payoff is for you. Get real with yourself. Don't bull**** to yourself. After you have the answer to why you do what you do, possibly seek a therapist; an outsider that you can trust. Alot of times, people seek attention from the opposite sex because of a deep insecurity within themselves. Could be from someone abandoning you in your childhood or someone who let you down and disappointed you, or possibly you were forced to grow up way too quickly. Only YOU know the answers to why you are behaving the way that you are. Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? If the answer is no, then, work on yourself. Don't take others down with you.
2007-02-22 08:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn to only seek attention and love from your husband and until you do so you will have alot of problems in your life and in you marriage.You both need to seek marriage counseling to learn how to get through this together and to work on it. Have you sat down with your husband and told him how you are feeling and why? I think you need to do that and you also need counseling for yourself as well concerning the issues of your past. Why dont you be around people with your husband and not just men? You can make girlfriends to hang out with and talk to you know NOT just men. Go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter as well.
2007-02-22 08:46:32 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're right, it is based on the experience you had as a child by losing your mother and having an emotionally unavailable father.
you have chosen a husband who has reapeated this pattern with your relationship with your father because it is comfortable; what you know, regardless of it being unfulfilling.
you seek men's attention as a means of achieving approval that you never recieved from your parents and now also from your husband. (is it any wonder?!!).
you need to find fulfillment in other areas of life, where you will find approval from yourself rather than others.
what makes you feel good about yourself (other than other's approval)?
just by recognising this maladaptive behavioural pattern will be a helpful step in the right direction.
speak to a counsellor about it.
good luck.
2007-02-22 08:07:58 · answer #4 · answered by noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to work behind a bar. I got lots of attention from men as it came with the job. If you are happy with your marriage tell these men you are taken.It is so frustrating living with someone who is distant, has your husband always been like this or is it just since you started your job.He shouldn't make you choose between him and your career,talk to him x
2007-02-22 08:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by The Way 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting attention is not a bad thing.
As long as you are not cheating on your husband, I don't think you should worry about it.
If it makes you have more confidence and pride in yourself, don't worry about it.
If you are in sales, it has to help you make more sales. It is necessary to be friendly and outgoing.
Many many married women get attention from men, it's a testemony to their looks and personality.
Like I said, as long as their attention doesn't turn into affairs or cheating on you husband, it shouldn't be a problem.
2007-02-22 08:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to work this out is through counselling. You need to go with your husband and alone, to seek out the deeper issues and solve them. Something should be done soon before you end up cheating on your husband and breaking up your lovely family.
2007-02-22 08:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by absolut_nixter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being and feeling attractive isn't bad... but acting upon it can be.
Perhaps it's the second of these that's the problem. The choice is yours. Show a little self-dicipline and be happy remembering what's important in your life or just resolve yourself to being a cheap tramp.
Simple, isn't it?
[][][] r u randy? [][][]
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2007-02-22 08:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
email me and we will talk aobut it,,,wishing75@yahoo.com
2007-02-22 10:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by wishing75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋