i can't believe how hurt i feel over this guy i work with. he had spent so much time flirting with me, calling me up at night, etc. i really thought he was interested. I thought he was shy so i told him i would go do something fun with him if he wanted. The next day, the phone calls stopped. He started behaving erratically towards me, sometimes very friendly, sometimes cold, sometimes taking photos of me w/his phone sometimes sending sexual jokes. It's at the point where this has all really hurt me and I'm trying to move on. But i feel awful. I feel like a loser nobody will ever be interested in, someone who people only play games with. I don't even want to be friendly towards him bc it hurts me but he sits right next to me. How am I going to get over this? I am really in pain over it all. Please please say something that might help. I am 36 female, never had a steady boyfriend but people say i am attractive but intimidating. I feel like a freak for never having had a boyfriend.
2007-02-21 23:37:50 · 11 answers · asked by Jebbie 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can imagine what you are going through. I have had a few lady coworkers/friends who went through the same and I saw how disturbed they got. The best way to deal with this problem is to start being careless around him. I think the main reason behind your disturbance is that you have developed some true feelings for him and the fear of loss is also making you act like a loser. You are not a loser, my dear. Its THAT guy who is a loser. He is losing a true love that could have given him. Just be kool and act nonchallantly when he is there. Your devil-may-care attitude would definitely tease him and make him realize what he has done. Keep talking to him but the tone should be like as if you are talking to any other coworker. If he wants special attention, smile, and politely turn him away, present some logical excuse of not rerturning his calls, or texts. For the pics, you will have to deal with him a bit strictly, perhaps threatning to report him to the management.
Hey, THAT true love WILL come your way. It does to everyone's way. Only the modes of arrival and the timings are different. When that time and the right man comes, you will feel the difference. Have a strong faith in destiny and luck. Stop getting affected by other women's love stories around you. Set your standards high. Be more valuable and The Woman to compete for. Only the man deserving YOU will get you.
2007-03-01 19:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by The Dream Merchant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The male you are referring to sounds like a jerk. I know it isn't easy, but you need to ignore him and his moods. Just really cool to him at all times. He will get the message and you will feel better. There is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend. Don't let other people's opinion rub off on you. Another person cannot make you feel guilty of anything. You have a choice about your life. If you have a good, caring femalee friend, ask her for suggestions in regard to what they see about you and why they think guys would be intimidated by you. If it just that you are in a higher status, by either job or education, that is good that one one would be intimidated and you certainly don't need that kind of person. When a femal has advance past the level of many males, they are intimidated and insecure. Look for friends in the level where you meet both male and females. That is a place to start and don't worry or sacrifice for less than what you deserve. You need to get more confidence about yourself. Do some self examination and evaluate the good things about yourself. Don't let the negatives get the best of you. Try looking the mirror and tell yourself about the good things and learn to really like yourself. Good luck
2016-05-23 22:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get him aside alone and ask him exactly what's going on...could be he's gotten shy when you returned the idea that you liked him, could be other reasons. But find out why. No shy routine none of the other crap. Ask him point blank questions...ask him how he feels, why he stopped calling, what has changed that he felt he had to change how he treated you?
2007-02-22 02:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a jerk. Try not to take it so personally. When it's right you'll know it and the right guy is out there for you. All of us have to kiss alot of "frogs" before we find our prince. As for his mood changes...ignore him and don't allow the sexual jokes of innuendos. You have the right to stand up for yourself and report that kind of behavior at work. Don't allow this idiot to make you a victim. Be strong and know that your entitled to better treatment at work and for that matter anywhere. Good luck girl
2007-03-01 15:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's his loss. It may just be that he is shy and doesn't know how to respond to you actually seeming interested in him. If you can ask him why he's acting that way, I've found in the past the this is the only thing that will really help.
2007-02-21 23:43:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this guy was just playing head games with you.. i think he is the real loser here.. you seem so sincere and open about this problem.. i would just ignore any advances with him, and keep things polite and more business like. . and i am very sure you are NOT a freak.but maybe a little bit independent,and that worries some guys.
2007-02-28 04:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell u what... the best way to see how he really is and how he feels about you is to joke about him the next time u see him... just a little joke on him to see how he reacts... if than he keeps doing the stupid sex jokes u hit him again. if the finally realizes how a jerk he's been then maybe he really likes u but did not know how to react. if he still continues to be a jerk then u have nothing to feel bad about... he's a jerk and u r rid of him.
2007-02-27 19:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by booghynson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi jebby
i think he misinterpreted ur intrest in him and now trying to play with ur emotions...when i imagine myself in ur place i see myself doing only two things...AVOIDING HIM..or if things really start hurting me to the extent u define...i would have snapped at him. would have discontinued any kind of talk or frndship with him and would have had a bnig fight. damn!! u should not give anyone freedom to play with ur emotions. if something is hurting you , you got to convey it to the person who is hurting you... otherwise he will not come to know and continue with his neusense!!!
i beleive u stop being NICE to him and talk with him...u are not a thing to play with. sick guys!! no need to feel so depressed of such craps...u will meet such ppl every other place you go..youy got to deal with them rather than feeling guilty and hurt...let them get what they deserve.
as far as when the question arises of having a boyfriend...i m sure you are not intrested in having a boyfrnd who does not respect you!!...so what are u afraid of.. TALK WITH HIM...
secondly love can happen at any age...and one should wait for the right man...u never know when u will get him...so dont be depressed about not having a steady boyfriend till now. have trust in urself and dont let such crap disturb you so much.... they are not even important in ur life.
2007-02-21 23:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by tanya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to find someone or something to take your mind off of him. He is clearly not worth your effort or time. When you are around him and find your mind wandering just try to think of something else. Try not to dwell on it because better things will come.
2007-02-21 23:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Raistlin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel yaar. jus ignore him and see that by tensions,pain and other problems u dont ignore urslf. look for another nice guy. there's nothing wrong in it. enjoy life
2007-02-21 23:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋