my wife cheated with a couple because i wanted a threesome with her and another women.?

Question

She said it was a women she slept with one weekend to 'see what it was like before she tried it with me'. she didn;t ever say no! instaed she did it all on her own.
The thing is she never told me the truth ever- I just kept on finding things, noticing phone records to the point where I just couldn't trust her anymore no matter where she went- she just kept on doing it right in my face- I didn't get it- there's a lot more to it but I just couldn't be bothered going through it all again- We're still together but I feel as though I'm in limbo...

Answer 1

just ask to let you be involved in some way or you might need to involve another man

Answer 2

She should have been honest.

That said, what you've got is a little contradictory. (I know, sometimes when you're getting the information second hand, it ends up being that way.) You said she cheated with a couple, but that she said it was just a woman she slept with. Was it just the wife? Or was it both of them?

Here is the difference between what you did and what she did: you wanted something, and put the power in her hands to either give it or deny it. If she had denied it, I hope that you would have been okay with that.

She, on the other hand, took matters in her own hands. She may have had honorable intentions, but by taking maters into her own hands, she made choices that hurt you.

Talk to her and agree not to go behind each others' backs any more, and then let it go. It sounds like she was thinking of you (at least the way she tells the story) and it sounds like you don't want to leave her. I love it when marriages work.

Answer 3

It's not quite hard to figure out what a three some would be like.
But, the aftermath of such a act, is the dooms all of a relationship.
Some people get so hung up on having an experience, but, that experience would actually ruin the closeness that you have with your significant other. Bringing a third party into the bedroom doesn't make a couple closer!! It actually puts someone else between them, and the fact that you were so selfish to ask for such a thing says nothing of the character of the man you are. Your partner deserves a better partner than you.

Answer 4

She may have told you that she did it to see what it was like, but she's been doing it for quite sometime before you ever brought up the subject. Could be she's just doing it with the other man rather than just the couple. But, one thing is for sure you'll never know the whole story.
Insist that she take you with her from now on and not have any contact with other couples unless you are with her. If she doesn't agree to this, then i would suggest you start considering what you need to do to end this relationship in your favor.

Answer 5

The bottom line is that your wife had an affair. Now you can't trust her. If your wife shows you that she is genuinlely sorry for what she did & is truly remorseful, you would need to demonstrate capacity for genuine forgiveness, including the ability to let go of anger & hurt if you decide to stay. If you can't find your way back to forgiveness,you can't find your way back to eachother. You'll be headed for a state of bitterness, paranoia, & despair. DOES SHE SHOW ANY TRUE SIGNS OF REMORSE? Maybe you can start basing your thoughts from the answer to this question. Good luck...

Answer 6

Be careful what you ask for in the future, You need to decide if you to can work it out and stay together if you can not trust her then it would be best to go ahead and file for divorce because apparently you don't trust her and to be in a good relationship you need to have the trust. Good Luck with your decision.

Answer 7

If she went ahead and slept with the other couple and not you, then having sex with you whether alone or in her group is saying to you that you aren't what she wants in her sex life. You should be the main partner in her sex life since your her husband. Apparently your not so I say divorce and move on to someone your sexually equal to. She will soon enough. It's hard to settle for less when she;s had more!!

Answer 8

This is your fault how do you think your wife felt when you told her you wanted to sleep with someone else while she was there do you actually think your marriage could of survived it?if my husband told me that i would give him his walking papers in a minute. You should have a talk with your wife and tell her you were wrong for asking her and that you either gonna work things out or get a divorce.

Answer 9

First off if you and your wife are doing things like this in agreement then guess what you set yourself up for this consuequence...You just got beat tot he punch...It was always in her to sleep with another women..Now she is really cheating on you with the other women the problem is you were not the one to arrange it...Something in your marriage has died and you too need to figure out how to rekindle the flame..Cause now she can't stop and your marriage is in serious trouble...I will defintely pray for you cause now it sounds like a YOU SHE AND SHE..........relationship...GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

You are asking for trouble, why would you want to share your woman with others? I find it very disturbing when people want to have threesomes and all, call me old fashion but hey it's me. I think being intimate with someone is the most rewarding thing their is between two people, especially when you love the other one.

Answer 11

For the record, this isn't swinging... this is cheating. She has cheated on you, plain and simple. Swinging is about being open and honest with your spouse about your fantasies and desires and both of you being secure enough in yourselves and relationship to live them out. Cheating is deception, which is what your wife did.

Having sex with other to "fix" your marriage won't work. It only works when your marriage doesn't need fixing. Stop now, don't go any further with this and seek marriage counseling.