im scared to death of hospitals, have anxiety, and am going to hate seeing her in pain...i have a pretty comedic personality...but pretty sure that wont fly in this situation...i need suggestions for coping
2007-02-21 22:52:17 · 13 answers · asked by dislocated_82 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just think of how you'd want her to react if you were in the hospital in pain, regardless of the reasons.
Each person is different in delivery. When I was in labor, I didn't mind people cracking jokes, but some women don't like it at all. You honestly won't know until the moment happens. If she says something to you about being quiet (even if it sounds rude) then just respect her wishes. If she gets an epidural and it's done correctly, then the pain she'll be in will be minor.
As far as the anxiety goes, I'm pretty sure that when the time comes, you'll find yourself engulfed with pride and happiness over the life that you helped create finally making an appearance in the world.
2007-02-21 23:08:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay up by her head, offer support, unless she's joking around, I'd hold off on the comedic part. Just be there, when she asks for something, do it or ask a nurse with no questions asked. If she's going to have an epidural, that will help with the pain, so that might make you feel better too.
2007-02-22 00:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you're so worried about the situation is very sweet to begin with. My husband and I both have the type of personality you described, but once it was time to deliver my daughter, all of that went out the window. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just remember that you're there for her and the baby, and you'll be alright. I can't speak for every woman out there, but the payoff is worth any discomfort you or her may feel. Besides, I had great delivery, and the whole staff had a good personality, so we were able to kid around and joke with them up until the time of the delivery.
2007-02-21 23:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is the same way for the most part.
With our first I was so over-tired and scared that instead of yelling at him, I kept telling him how much I loved him. The hospital staff was quite impressed - they're used to women in labor yelling and hurting their partners lol. This labor started on it's own and at home.
With our second I was in a lot more pain, I was induced. I wasn't quite as friendly with him.. But thankfully he realized it was the pain and the fact that the epidural didn't work, since it was not done correctly.
Both times he did everything he possibly could to make me comfortable and try to lessen the pain as much as he could. We went to a birthing class when I was pregnant with our first and they had information for the partners/coaches to help them know what to do to try to ease the pain. It worked wonders. I think that was the only truly valuable information we got out of it - but it was very valuable in the delivery room.
Best of luck, and remember - if she says anything that hurts you, or even hurts you physically (squeezing your hand or whatever) She doesn't mean to. Giving birth is the most painful experience in the world, but also the most rewarding.
2007-02-22 00:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by lilly_rose_starphase 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest you'll probably be ignored quite a lot of the time. I know I ignored my boyfriend for most of the delivery. I kept looking at the midwife cos she obviously knew far more. Hold her hand and above all keep telling her over and over again that she's doing a great job. All this might not work though as some women do turn against their partner and swear at him. If this does happen it will all disappear after your child is born. I certainly needed my boyfriend at one stage to help me with my breathing. He just looked me straight in the eye and told me when to breath in and out. I was out of my head on gas and air at the time so couldn't concentrate. The fact that you're scared and you still want to be there I think earns you brownie points. I know a lot of men that wouldn't even consider going in. Good luck, you'll be fine.
2007-02-21 23:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by sprouticus79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there with her for support and don't crack jokes. The worst thing when you are having contractions and in pain, is to joke or make unnecessary comments. Trust me, my husband got yelled at on 2 separate instances for being a wise ***. Just hold her hand and caress her hair and listen to what she needs. There is nothing you can do about her pain, until they give her the epidural, if she decides to have one. Most of all, depending on the level of her pain, don't take anything she may say to heart, when you are in so much pain, you don't care about anything but getting rid of it altogether.
2007-02-22 00:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold her hand, play with her hair, tell her she is doing great (but not too much) just basically be there for her even if she yells at you. :)
by the way my ex fiancee was somewhat of a jokester too, and i actually didnt mind that he cracked a few jokes, it made me feel like he was comfortable with the situation and i was happy he could be himself even though i was treating him so badly, he just shrugged it off and kept trying everything to make me happy. maybe being yourself wont be such a bad thing, obviously dont take it too far, but show her that you are comfortable (even if you arent) the more relaxed you are the more it will help her relax.
i wish you both the best.
congrats
2007-02-21 23:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by puppy love 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my partner was the same he was convinced he wasnt even gonna be wit me but rest assured that once it all starts u wont even give it a second though coz the adrenaline will take over, just remember wot ur gettin at the end of it.
2007-02-21 23:07:04 · answer #8 · answered by Lolly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Please don't crack jokes. My husband tried that a couple of times with me and got cursed out in front of the delivery room staff. Just be calm...insure her comfort....and play along with what ever she suggests. Good Luck and Congrats!
2007-02-21 22:59:49 · answer #9 · answered by Babyface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold her hand, talk to her about what life will be like for you all after the baby is born. Most of all tell her how much you love her..
2007-02-21 23:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Donna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋