Once a cheater will always be a cheater. How can you forgive a cheating spouse ?

Answer 1

u really can't forgive a cheating spouse even if u think u can. sooner or later it will all come back again, and smack u right in the face. it will come back whenever there is a disagreement, a fight, your mind will always goes back to that. every time they go out u will wonder if he is seeing her again. u will never see them the way u use to, so why not end it when it happens, and get rid of it, and not wonder when or if it will happen again. sounds rash but most of the time it just isn't possible to feel the same, or trust again ever.

Answer 2

It depends on what type of cheating. The statement you made has some great truth in it but there are rare cases where a cheater learned their lesson and never cheated again. I think the forgiving part is somewhat easy.. it is the forgetting that seems to cause the problem because the trust has been broken and most men seem to think that if they just say I am sorry, that all is forgiven.
The worst part I hate about cheating is the cheater always wants to say it was the other persons fault because they did this or didn't do that but in reality they made the choice to cheat which was wrong because they were to much of a coward to face the problems in the relationship and put some real hard work into it.

Someone who has been cheated on has to find their own peace in their own way, whether that is forgivness, or moving on etc

Answer 3

That line is the single biggest piece of BS on this post.

The once a cheater crap totally ignores that people are not infallible, can learn and modify behavior from their mistakes
and can become a better person for living some life lessons.

That phrase also discounts that people can do what they WANT to do. Repeated cheating is as much an indication that the couple fixed nothing as it is some intrinsic character flaw.

You do not hear the success stories so much because the people who live through it and get past it do not really like to share that information that much. They don't dwell on it and move forward leaving it as a quiet memory.

The people cheated on multiple times however, like to tell everyone what an @sshole the other one is for cheating.
That proves a complete lack of understanding.

There are no universal truths like " once a cheater". People are not that simple. If you believe that, you are doomed to repeat things over and over because you cannot fathom that people can change and therefore cannot find a solution.

Answer 4

Good for you... I'm glad it worked out. I've been there.. done that, unfort our marriage had more problems other than a cheating spouse. America in general has a HUGE problem of the grass is greener on the other side. and relationships in general are disposable.. if one doesn't satisfy you, you can throw it away without any reprecussions. It was something that wasn't done 50 yrs ago without the stigma attached. People make mistakes.. it's a fact of life.. we are human... just because a person cheats once, it doesn't mean that they will cheat again.. It has to do with that particular person and that particular situation. If a couple really sits down and talks about what drove the other to cheat.. what cirumstances and if they can fix that.. and rebuild the trust... I believe that it would be worth it, esp if there are many years or children involved... but if you married a scumbag, then I'm glad the option is there for people to move on and get on with their lives.. It's a case by case basis.. not a totally black and white situation..

Answer 5

I dont believe "once a cheater always a cheater"...unless you are looking at it in the same terms as you would alcoholism. I guess you will always be an alcoholic once you are one. Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion or a feeling. If forgiveness is something you choose to do, you have to try your best to do it. Would you rather be hurt and miserable without them and never know if it would have worked...or hurt and miserable with their support and encouragment and love to help build abetter relationship? I chose the latter...and i am so glad I did...the relationship has never been better.

Answer 6

You should learn to forgive and forget. If you forgive and cant forget its no use. And if you forget but cannot forgive, it is also of no use.

Every one makes mistakes. Once they did it, they know they should nt have.

You should not lose a spouse just for cheating.

In today's world, cheating is very easy since people have started encouraging that.


You should be above all that and live happily.

Answer 7

I dont think you ever really can. There is always a chance that if they've done it once and you've forgiven them then they will feel they can do it again and you will forgive again. If you really do wanna give it another go then ok forgive but never forget, but at the same time if they are really trying to make things work then dont throw it back in their face every time things get hard as you are the one who decided to forgive! Good Luck.

Answer 8

The same way GOD forgives you...All the the things we do wrong day in and day out and we ask GOD for forgiviness.....BUT we can't forgive our cheating spouses because what they got Caught....In our minds we have cheated too..but guess what leaving him will still make an impact because you still love him you just don't love what he did...LOVE its a strong word....IF you forgive don't bring it up don't belittle him don't be mean to him and watch how he will feel guilty....now it does not happen over night but stay faithful watch GOD work..

Answer 9

I am sorry for your hurt.

I have to say sometimes people just act out of character they make a decision that can be purely selfish, egotistical or stupid in a second that affects their life, how they think of themselves and how their family see them forever.
Sometimes people can work it out if you have the skills to do so. Some people never forgive and some can never forget.
It depends on the situation. Everybody is different. Some people see need to even the odds..some say that is just hurting yourself or lowering yourself to their standards..it's hard to say what you need. I would see a counsellor if I was you. Talk about your feelings what you need than maybe joint counselling to work out what to do.... Good luck.

Answer 10

I didn't forgive my spouse for cheating and neither can I forget what he did to me. Anyhow, I decided to stay on in the marriage and gave him another chance to prove himself to me based on the following:

1. He was and still is a good provider to the family.
2. He loves our young daughter to bits.
3. He cheated due to certain circumstances...eg. distance
4. He was the one who ended the affair before I found out.
5. He regrets it deeply and vows never to cheat again

I told him that I will give our marriage another chance but IF he ever cheat again, he is a DEAD MAN. He sweared on his mother's life he will not!!!!