Was badly hurt by husband from emotional cheating, dishonesty in any way, financial betrayal (he doesn't let me know about his earnings & bank accounts) and he'd even backstab me to my kids.
I wanted to leave but have no choice. I cant just leave the kids because for sure he and his parents/siblings will brainwash them.
Tried it before but i didn't get even a centavo of financial support from him for 2 years. Now, i'm scared to do it again. What am I supposed to do?
2007-02-21 21:07:40 · 15 answers · asked by LadyLuv 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. leave him immediately and better complaint to police too
2007-02-21 21:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems to be a very tough situation. Sorry, but there are so many questions here, as to, how did he 'emotionally' cheat you, how did he financially betray you, when you have every right as a wife to be supported, and how can he backstab your kids, if you their mother loves them so much, and your power over them should be much more than what he does behind your back...
Okay, leaving all that aside, you seem to be trapped in a relationship, and helpless. So you may have to take this step by step. First is, arent you educated, couldnt you find a job of your own ? I think that would first solve your very basic issue of being dependant on him financially. Second, is to get your kids, I mean, legally separate with your kids in your custody. I wouldnt know the laws where you live, but I am sure as a mother, you have every right over your children. You do not seem to get anywhere with this man, and looks like you cant even think of solutions like ''making up'', counselling, or discussions with his family and yours, together finding a solution, which ofcourse would be the best. That is, you should discuss and fill in your family, (parents/siblings) and come up with something you together can do. And if none of this is possible, its sad, but you could just leave and move on. And for that to be possible you have to be independant, as in having a job of your own where he may not be able to take away your children on the grounds that you cannot provide for them.
Be calm. Go over a lot of things while preparing yourself to take a big step as this. If you could solve it by making up, and probably renewing your relationship with him, together, that ofcourse woulld be the best. No one would advise you to break up a family, but you have yourown good reasons to break up, so think very very carefully, set a plan, and work along those lines.
I wish you all thebest....for yoursake and your kids..
good luck
2007-02-22 06:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many spouses do you have? You are the same woman who's dirtbag hubby was having an affair with a 15 year old. An affair is actual contact, is he having sexual relations with the 15 year old or not? Is it just an "emotional affair"? Collect your thoughts and try again
2007-02-22 05:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by Steel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find an abused woman's shelter, they will take you and the kids find a new place in a new city, set you up with a place to live and get you a job. Call them they are in the phone book under Woman's Health or Shelters.
2007-02-22 05:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leaving your home because of mere misunderstanding you had with your spouse will not solve any problem.
the problem is he is not honest to you as in his earnings. you know some men dont tell their wife true when it comes to finance, becuase they feel they will demand for so many things. but if your husband is giving you the things you require for you/children upkeep why do you querrel with him?
well leaving him does not suppose to arise and being that you did not find it easy the first time why do you think of it again. consider your childred and setle with him amicabily.
2007-02-22 05:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by babygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is normal. in my own view and opinion your husband is a bastard spelled with a capital B. Try to get some legal help, for example petitioning for the custody of your kids, his extra-marital affairs can be used against him if ever you get the battle of custody on court. You no longer have to stay with your cheating, lying husband, i hope you can get some legal help with this if you really wanted to leave him.
goodluck ^^
2007-02-22 05:15:49 · answer #6 · answered by queenbee_tch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave and stand on your own two feet and find a job so you can support yourself. you cant rely on a man to make you happy or to help you with money you need to learn to be independent. i know you fear the kids will hate you but as the grow they will see you husband and his family for what they are worth.
2007-02-22 05:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes if he is doing that to you he sounds like a control freak. If I were you I would take MY kids and leave you can get a divorce from him for emotional abuse and turning your kids away from you that is not healthy. good luck.
2007-02-22 05:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to leave your kids with him in the first place you need to get out of that relationship if you are unhappy, you don't need him i raised my son by myself it was hard and i was barley making ends meet. but i did it and now I'm very happy if you really want to leave you will manage, you could always get public assistance until you get on your feet and they will make him pay child support.
2007-02-22 05:14:08 · answer #9 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you leave the kids with him you should be paying him for the caring of them butyes you should leave nomatter what the out come because you are wasting away in a life wich you are unhappy with .
2007-02-22 05:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by nrrs_chrstphr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this shows he's totally no love on u so what r u waiting 4? don't waste ur time n go 4 divorce asap(ask him 4 kids allowances...).take care.
2007-02-22 05:16:20 · answer #11 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋