My husband recently moved away to work in a different city and was home for the week, I noticed a message on a virtual chat rm that said " how will I know she's around to say the appropriate thing" I questtioned hm and his response was, I told the chic to speak apporiatley bec i didnt want you to have a misconception that I was up to something. We are married for ten years, I have 2 sons and am pregnant with our 3rd child. This is so difficuilt for me because how do I know for sure.....Why do men really screw up a happy home. I am attractive, we have a great sex life, we communicate well, still I have this nagging feeling that you just cant trust anyone 100%.
2007-02-21 19:22:45 · 13 answers · asked by leo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
love why are you asking this question on yahoo. are you really emotionally strong enough to deal with the reality check you may get here. and i didnt know you were still dealing with this problem. why did you downplay it to me, soooo not fair. and you know you are never gonna leave him, so why torture yourself. the best thing for you to do and to preserve your sanity, let it go and choose to trust and stay true. at least you know you are holding up your end of the bargain. and if he is being unwholesome then let god be the judge and let god deal with him. you have so many things going on in your life right now and so much depends on you. you have to be strong and keep a good head on your shoulders. and trust me in time all issues will be smoothed out and youll be happy again because god loves you and i have the utmost faith in you. you are a shining example to us all. a true star. stay positive. i love you
2007-02-21 22:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you suspect is correct.
The excuse he gave you is weak, and you know it. That's why you are still uneasy about it.
It does not matter than you love eachother, have a good sex life, or are happy. Just being away, and meeting someone when you are lonely can be reason enough to make the first mistake. Problem is, it often turns into something more because it's easy, available. So when he's gone he easily has her, and it will become a larger strain on your marriage as time passes. You'll see.
He may think that he can have his cake and eat it too- having no intent on leaving you, but he can't. Don't let him be so selfish and do something to hurtful to you.
You MUST be self-protective at this point.
Is it possible to go to see him where he is living now? To show up unannounced? You should, see how he reacts. That will tell you for sure!
This happend to me! Do not make the same mistake I did, by choosing to be naive and trust. Take care of yourself. Do a little dirty work, dig for information. If it's there, you will find it.
If you don't, you are just letting his actions rule your life.
Good luck.
2007-02-22 03:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Bearess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but I think something might be going on while your husband is away. Now that he's back he may be keeping in touch secretly via the pc. However, I could be biased right now on the topic of men. I've been throught alot lately and I don't trust men, or anyone at all. It's really, really depressing to realize that regardless of how well you know someone, and how much you share with eachother you never truly can trust someone 100%. Personally, I'd put some kind of spyware on your home computer. Then when he's not around you'll be able to check out what their chatting about. If it turns out to be, "just a friend" then you will be able to rest easy and there will be no need to check up on him anytime soon. If you find out otherwise confront him right to his face. I wouldn't mention the spyware when you discuss this, just tell him you found out and it's irrelevent how. See if he looks you in the eyes while defending himself, observe his body language and go from there. If he's looking up and away to the right, if his eyes appear to be dilated and/or if he pauses when answering questions (as if to think) he is most likely lying. You have a family to protect and don't forget the promise he made to you when you married. Good-luck!
2007-02-22 03:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by Goodgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even how much u r in love, never trust anyone 100% reason being u will not be able to take it when something goes wrong and u wont see the wrong doings of the person. I'm not asking you to think negative but think practically. If u need to check on him. Do it. Even thought there is nothing, u'll be satisfied to know ur man is not shared by others and he is only urs. Give him some surprises by showing up where he lives and where he normally hang out. Husbands will think twice to do anything wrong, knwoing the wife may turn up at any moment. Good luck to you and hope your husband is fully urs only.
2007-02-22 03:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by Veronica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can tell you how to feel. In light of the fact that you seem to have a good relationship, letting worry about what might happen will only eat away at you. Not good for you or the new baby in the making.
You could check for little things that might trip him up if he is in fact cheating, could hire a private detective to follow him. But, here, I think the best thing to do is to keep talking, do not accuse him, and keep trust alive. It's hard on all of you as a family now that he has moved away to be in another city for his job.
Good luck, hope your fears are unfounded.
2007-02-22 04:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hubby went to the same "excuse" school as mine. Go with your gut feeling. My husband, a computer salesman, started coming home late from work. When I questioned him about it (I had a gut feeling also), he began contradicting himself with all of his excuses. When I threatened to call his boss, he admitted he was having an online affair, but get this, was breaking it off with her! RIGHT! Since then, I've caught him three times doing the same thing on his home computer. His response...it's a man thing. Well, he can do his 'man thing' without this woman. You know what he would call it if I were doing it?? Don't let up until you find out the truth.
2007-02-22 03:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by brog47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a hound, but please, don't make any life-altering decisions while you are pregnant. When I was pregnant I made some of the worst decisions. I think the hormones alter brain fuction or something. Keep an eye on him. If he's a good boy, he won't mind too much to put you at ease.
2007-02-22 03:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by autumndaesy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is broken the moment something goes wrong, it is never easy again to trust someone completely. i have problems trusting my girlfriend, even when she has done nothing wrong till date. she is completely loyal but just imagining things that one day she will leave me for someone else. i watch a lot of movies, so starts thinking that one day when i will go to office i will find her with someone, because i won't be able to satisfy her. all these thoughts keep on playing with my mind, and i get depressed. she is trying hard for me to trust her, she sometimes gets irritated.. but she is still trying.. i hope this is just ur imagination and ur insecurity or ur love for husband
2007-02-22 03:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by chandana b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years is something not to loose easily, you are in a delicate situation and i hope you remain calm.
Definately there is a weakness but with love you can still win him over, pray and also make sure communication is open.
The small foxes spoil the vine.
2007-02-22 04:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously be asking questions as to what is going on. Why would she ask how would she know when you were around to speak appropriately if there is nothing going on? Shouldn't she always be speaking "appropriately"? Sounds dodge to me.
2007-02-22 03:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by Barkditch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋