grief and families?

Question

i lost my brother to sucide nearly 4 months ago and i want to know why does death tear families apart and some families fight over money and belonging etc!! i am sentimental !!! photos etc but to fight over that stuff i don,y get it?? and do you think torn families can ever get back to being mother and daughter etc even though things have been said and done ????

Answer 1

Death can definately tear or damage families, especially a sudden one such as suicide...the thing is that people often focus their grief on trying to claim something.. ie money or possessions, because it stops them focusing on the pain they are feeling... remember everyone is entitled to their grief and no grief is more important than another persons... but as far as mending things, well that will take time, and it needs to be realised that things that are said during the grieving time , may need to be forgiven as that... lashing out in grief... Don't ever forget that your brother probably wouldn't want this to happen to his family, and by fighting its actually sullying his memory. Its only been 4 months, it takes a lot longer to get over that pain, if its your mom that is lashing out, then realise that she may be blaming herself for not seeing the signs or not doing anything about it... be gentle and remember that you need to grieve to... I don't know how close you were to your brother, but crying and even writing down your emotions/feelings over his death may help you to get through the grief. Reminders of him, will probably be important to you, but as long as the stuff is not all given or thrown away, there will be time to get stuff that you can keep. I hope that you and your mom can be supports for each other during this time, and that the pain grows less over time... GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

Funerals and weddings tend to bring out the worst in people and the best in people. I would suggest trying to get into some counseling to help you first and then incorporate the the others who have added to the grief. A counselor would know exactly how to help you and how to deal with the others in your life. Best wishes to you.