ok ive been with this guy for about 2 years and we have a son together and im prgnant again and weve had a on and off relationship and after i had the baby everything was good we was living together and everything and then we lost our place and i moved with ma mom and he moved with his. We argue all the time but all the sudden he started chillin with his homeboys and then he wanted space and he didnt wanna be with me and hes only 20. then he got to where he wouldnt call me and when i go over there to see him hes mean and blows me off but i love him and i want to be with him for our kids. he says one day he wants to be with me but not right now. what should i do ?
2007-02-21 17:11:17 · 15 answers · asked by misty w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Whatever you do don't give up trying. Always remember that you need to communicate and communicate *well* (not screaming matches but real meaningful conversation). Talk to him and see find his reasons/his fears---maybe then you two can come to a compromise and live together again.
Have you considered getting Married? Your two kids would be better off if they had a married father and mother who lived together. Your kids need their father. Recent studies show that children grow up a lot more stable if they have a father figure in their lives.
Also try counseling (I recommend a good Christian counselor who will talk to you both about marriage and committment). I wish you the best and will pray all goes well for you :).
2007-02-21 17:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by yoyomama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you, but children do not keep people together. You stated that you love him and want to be with him for your kids. Why do you think that you can make some one love you , just because you love them. Wouldn't it be great if the world worked like that, but unfortunately it does not.He has had another taste of freedom by being at his Moms and now what he is really saying is that he likes it and wants to continue to be free. You on the other hand need to start thinking of the babies and less of him. You need to get some type of child support from him and put yourself in a position to take care of your children. Don't let him string you along by saying one day he wants to be with you, that is ridiculous after having two young children. Focus on making your life better for you and your children for life is too short to wait on him for one day that may never get here.
2007-02-21 17:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the looks of things, I'm sure you have already heard all of the stuff about how you should be careful about who you mingle with. With that being said, I would say this guy is running and the only thing to do is to get an attorney and try to get him to pay child support... an all too familiar court case here in America. Too many dead beat dads. They ought to have a mandatory high school class on how to pick a boyfriend...or better yet, who not to have sex with! I'm sorry if this is harsh and this is not my point, but you should not end up with him, but you should go after his wallet, because this is the only thing that will make any sense to this ignorant f@#$!!!
2007-02-21 17:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is too young to be burdened with children.Why did you have two children.You could have learned a lesson after the first child.Moreover he is not your husband and can leave you any time.If he wants to marry you he could have done so when you had the first child.Give him space let him do what hw wants and if he comes back to settle down with you well and good.If he doesnt then make the best of your mistakes but you cant force him to love you.
2007-02-21 17:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, sweetie, but it sounds like it's over and he has moved on. Time for you to get moving, preferably to family court where you file for child support, and make sure it's enforced. He created two children with you and he needs to support them financially, if not physically and emotionally. You need to stop wasting time worrying about him and concentrate on those innocent children, who didn't ask for any of this crap. Your first and only priority is the children - for the next 18 years. You brought them into this world, you are responsible for them. You are a mother now of two children. Time to grow up, face the facts, move on, and get on with your life and make a future for your kids.
2007-02-21 17:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Rita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only one thing you can do right now...raise your kids. Since your BF seems flaky, I'd plan on doing it yourself.
I think your BF is probably resenting being tied down at such a young age. He will most likely come around but when that happens is anyone's guess. Your kids can't just wait around for him to get his act together. Do what you can on your own and try to keep him involved with his kids. Thats the best way to keep him close and helping out.
2007-02-21 17:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is not a good situation for your kids they don't need to be around you guys if you are arguing, i assume you are also young, both of you needed to grow up a little more before having kids, now your going to be the one stuck raising the kids by yourself because your ex thinks hes too young to be settling down.
2007-02-21 17:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sue him for child support. He's stringing you along so you won't think of it. Love is wanting the other person to be happy. So he's saying one day later he'll love you> Doesn't make sense. He's not coming back, you need to look out for your kids.
2007-02-21 17:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still young, maybe that is a factor in the immaturity he is showing right now. Either way he is a daddy now and he needs to wake up and realize he is missing precious moments in his children's lives! If he doesnt move on I'm sure there are many other men who would love to be with you and be a real father to your children! Good luck!
2007-02-21 17:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by Miss G 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that sounds like a friend of mine right now... ive been through some tuff relationships.. ur bf is young and im sure you are too.. he is reacting as if he is being tyed down by you and feels that he needs freedom... some of his friends prob said to him that you are bossy and that they dont see him enough... so he listens to his friends thats what guys do they are jerks.. if he doesnt want to be with you then leave him alone.. the time will come where he wants to be with you and see his kids.. and when he dose tell him no ... that you are going to have to see if he has changed.. and if he is ready for taking on the challenges that you and him will argue.. i would leave him b for now i know you love him and its hard i know trust me.. but leave him alone right now and see his reaction ... he wants you to come back to him everytime he dose somthing but that shows that you are doing wat he wants and not wat you need to do.. he think ur his dog ... i would just leave him alone.. for now
2007-02-21 17:20:29 · answer #10 · answered by Kneecolei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋