I worked as Secretary to my ex-boss for 8 years who then become my closed friend now. Our relationship last time was just like boss and subordinate nothing else. He really cares about my family, my career and my study. I feel so touched and thankful for his kindnes and he will do what ever the best to make me happy. Recently, we have met again and talked about personal, and i have found out that he really interested to know more about me, which he didn't realized it few years back. Since then, I received sms everyday (more than 70 sms) from him asking about my personal life, what I wear, what I did and everything. I feel so closed to him and if i don't receive his sms, I really missed him very much. We are happy this way. The thing is, we both have to restrain ourselves since both are married and have kids. If possible we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings. Our relationship with our partner is as usual nothing less.
2007-02-21 16:59:10 · 14 answers · asked by ARNISSA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are married, and he is married, you have no business seeking each other out for anything other than a professional relationship. On a professional note, one or both of you could lose your job over this, some companies do not tolerate employees having relationships. Where he's your superior, there would even be a question of harrassment, and the company would not want to open itself up to a lawsuit. It's not appropriate to get involved with someone in a position of authority over you, and it's definitely not appropriate to get involved with someone when you're married to someone else.
2007-02-21 17:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, I think you are pretty clear that your relationship with this man has changed from professional to friendship, and now is speeding past the edge of friendship into the romantic.
It is sad, but perhaps this friendship should be put on hold for awhile to let the passions that are being kindled die down a bit. For the sake of your family, and his family, that's probably the best bet.
Also, break the secrecy around what's been happening, and talk to your husband and other trusted family members about it, if it is at all possible. This will build trust in your primary relationship, and you won't have to deal with this all by yourself.
If you keep going as you have been, it will only be a matter of days or weeks before you go too far -- and once you have an affair, you can never get back the trust your partner now has in you. Believe me -- the road back from something like this is paved with a hundred thousand tears.
2007-02-21 17:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by bearvarine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sincerely hope that you have not slept with your boss. Yes he is your best friend because you are around him all day, however I think you have to draw the line somewhere. Faithfulneess and accountability to your husband and family has to be first priority in your life. If this is getting to be too intimate I think that the time has come for you to break ties and find another job. You are in a dangerous position and if you decide to get together, you destroy two families in the process. Can you live with that?
You are in a place where Satan can do anything to decieve you. I suggest you quit your job, swallow your pride and move on. It seems you still love your husband, however you cannot serve two masters when it comes to your sexual and emotional side of life. I suggest you really rethink your situation and also ask your boss to drop the little sms's. If your husband or his wife happen to see them all hell is going to break loose.
THe line you can use to break the friendship is that you have too much self respect to let this go on any longer - things are getting too dangerous and you feel that its time to throw in the towel and find a new job. Neither of you can afford to be destructive towards your families and that both of you needs to be accountable and faithful them, after all they are what you have chosen in life and have to remain with. You respect him as a boss and nothing more.
My girl remember the old cliche that familiarity breeds contempt. This is bordering on the red zone. Get away while you can andoverride feelings and emotions and be accountable. There is life after your boss. TRUST ME!!!
2007-02-21 17:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop this, you surely know where this is heading and someone is going to get hurt. How would you feel if your husband had this same thing going on with a ex-secretary? You are smitten with all this attention from this guy. Sometimes in marriage things get to routine or stale. Spend your time thinking of ways to rejuvenate your own marriage and don't be a part of destroying some other woman's marriage.This man wanting to know what your wearing is way off base, this is more then just being friends. And, I suspect you know that.
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but when you get closer, it's not.
2007-02-21 17:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your ex-boss need to realize that what you are doing is 1) morally wrong and 2) morally wrong. If you want to play the I desire you and you make me spark inside game, then both of you get divorced and confuse the crap out of your kids for what you are doing. Adults only see the importance of their desires without considering what damage is done to their kids. If you wanted to play these emotional games you shouldn't have had kids to drag through the mud. Don't be so selfish, put your hormones on the shelf and act like a responsible adult and if Mr. ex-boss doesn't want to stop things - send him one last message to go hire a hooker. That's all he's interested in anyway or he wouldn't be chasing a married woman.
2007-02-21 17:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is QUIT communicating with your ex-boss. You cannot have it both ways. If your husband and kids are important to you, than you need to stop ALL contact with the ex-boss and put your energy into your marriage. No friendships are worth destroying your marriage over and putting your children through the pain of a divorce. You may miss your friendship with the ex-boss but you will get over it.
2007-02-21 17:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, ok, ok....so the flirtation is like candy to a baby, right? WRONG! Not only has your boss stepped over a line...and a very big one mind you....but you are technically cheating on your husband! If this is ok with you, then it won't much matter what anyone else says to you. You sound like a bored wife, tired of raising kids and being married to the same old guy year after year after year. Find a hobby, get a tummy tuck, change jobs, take better care of yourself! Ask yourself if you are willing to pay the consequences of your spouse finding out....are you?
2007-02-21 17:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell your boss that things are getting too personal. Friends are one thing, but it really sounds as if you two are venturing into dark territory. Chatting about your family or other shared interests are fine. But it almost sounds as if you guys are really on the verge of having an affair. Put up a road block before it's too late!!!!!
2007-02-21 17:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ghost Writer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in denial. If he is truly professional about being a boss, he should not take advantage of his position while you are there. And it is also not right about what he is doing since you are married. No matter how you sugarcoat it, these activities are abnormal and only spell divorces for both parties.
2007-02-21 17:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya need to severe the relationship. you are both too dependent on each other. give urself a slap on the head and come out of it now! :) peace
2007-02-21 17:25:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋