Your boyfriend/partner/spouse decides he wants female friends who are about ten years younger then him, attractive, and intersting. He wants to keep these friendships hidden from you and continues to instigate the friendships (by asking these girls to meet him for coffee, or goes to their apartment to hang out) what do you do? Do you think its okay for him to behave this way because he is just making friends or do you get upset because its being hidden from you? Oppinions please.
2007-02-21 16:29:02 · 17 answers · asked by jennyve25 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would like to add I did leave him because of this and we have a five month old daughter sometimes I just question whether I went to far.
2007-02-21 16:36:08 · update #1
would also like to state that three weeks after the relationship ended he went on a few dates and is now also seeing someone he knew as a friend before.
2007-02-21 16:37:42 · update #2
If hes hiding it from you, then theres a reason for it. I would confront him and ask him whats up and if hes happy in the relationship or not. If he doesnt give an answer I would move on, if he wants to play those weird kinds of games you can find someone who wont
2007-02-21 16:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by Jason 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its like this anything you are doing you should be able to do in front of your spouse so if your making "friends" but hiding it then there is a problem plain and simple and he is going to tell you nothing is going on i mean did you really think if something was he would tell you? he lied about being friends with these women so why would he admit he is playing a little slap and tickle with them? the main thing is if he wont let you know and your not being included ever then there is something wrong because something that he would not do if you were standing right next to him is something he would do behind your back tells you that he is up to something and he know its wrong that's why he lies!
the reason she is his girlfriend now is because she was then...good job standing up for yourself you did just fine and the truth is she better get ready because if he will do it with her he will do it to her
2007-02-21 16:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's right to hide things like this in a relationship. It sounds like a midlife crisis, in that he wants to feel young again by hanging out with younger people. I would talk to him and try and see why he is doing what he is doing and if he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong ask him why he's hiding it. It might not be a bad idea to suggest couples counselling to help figure things out.
Good Luck
2007-02-21 16:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by C T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely wouldn't think that this is okay, for one reason, that he is hiding these things from you. These girls could be of any age, but when it reaches a point where he tries to hide these relationships from you, they are not just friendships anymore. I mean let's be realistic, why would he be hiding these from you? Obviously he wants to be dishonest in these relationships.
One thing for whoever is in this situation to think about is, is it worth it to hold on to this relationship when this person has begun these dishonest "friendships"? Or is it just safer to call this relationship off now to avoid potential heartache?
2007-02-21 16:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by MissDivine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first off...this question hit a nerve with me. My answer would be to get really pissed off!!
If you went into the relationship and they had loads of female friends, and it was acceptable, than I wouldn't bat an eye at it. But if its out of character for him, as you stated, "just started", and "hid it"...there would be reason for concern.
This isn't a friendship thing, he's loudly getting his ego stroked. The question you need to ask yourself, is why is this happening?
2007-02-21 16:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any time he feels the need to hide a "friendship" from you, there is a big problem. I have male friends, but my husband knows them and knows all about my friendship with them. It's all about trust and being open with each other. You have neither and he's way out of line.
2007-02-21 16:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here'e what Jesus would do! He would practice the kingly law"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This person has no integrity, loyalty, and disrespects you. So when did you say your were breaking up? When ? Today, yes time to go! too little time left in life asking why? get busy, go,a find someone who really is committed to a serious monogamous relationship.
2007-02-21 16:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by Goodfor52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be weird for him to make friends with these girls even if he weren't doing it secretly, but since he is that's doubly bad and I would totally get upset. If someone's doing this to you, you should consider taking him to couples/marriage counseling to figure out why he's treating you this way and to get him to stop.
2007-02-21 16:32:30 · answer #8 · answered by cg17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to get lost. I would not stay with him even if we had kids together. I want someone who is going to be faithful and not do things behind my back and be upfront with me.If he is going out with them he was not happy, Do you guys still have fun since your kid was born? or is it just about the baby? I would move on and find someone who is worth your time, someone who will love you and be with you fully
2007-02-21 16:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by motherof2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to grow up and act responsibly like a father. He is the type that give "men" the bad reputation. Tell him to get over himself after you give him the boot.
2007-02-21 16:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋