HELP My husband is cheating- Is this enogh PROOF?

Question

My husband has been speaking to this woman older then him, he says his mothers age which is around late 40, they meet on the game site where u play games like backgammon, well after he started talking to her he stopped coming to bed, making an excuse that I am pregnant with our 2 child, I told him I don't like the fact they speak but he says that the are just friends and mainly they speak about each other family, life and ect. She is also married and has a son. Well yesterday I have found that THEY not only spoke on the game site but she text ed message him, like where r u? go on the site, I miss u and etc, I made a big fight where he admitted that they spoke on the phone twice, once because her friends husband got in jail and the 2 time about his fathers death, I didn't be live him, he admitted he had a some e-mail from her, which I read, she sends him greeting cards saying she misses him and stuff like that, on v-day she wished him a lot of love with me, I really don't know weather to be live him that THEY just friends visa Internet, to he is cheating I think he is cheating, guys help I don't know what to do, I packed his **** and I want him out, why would a woman older then him e-mail almost every day, asking to go on the site, that she misses him and needs to talk to him, he reply's simply nice and short but a couple of times he called her things he haven't called me in months like sweety, honey, mwuuah, miss u as well, I don't really have no idea what to do. HELP!!!
after SHE ARRIVED IN OUR LIFE HE BARELY SLEEPS WITH ME AND WHEN HE DOES he doesn't even kiss me, I don't remember when he kissed me last time, I've seen her pic she is indeed older then him, but it doesn't stop me from thinking they are together, she calls him hotty and stuff, when I say why u have such a close relationship, he says that all i do is scream he cant share things with me he talks to her she's a doctor she's like a physiologist. Ohhhh I don't know I've been crying all day I don't know what to do

Answer 1

If this relationship is hurting you and taking away from your marriage (which it sounds like it is), he should discontinue it. Have you told him that you would like it to stop. It could have started as innocent, but now it seems she is just too connected to his life. I'd want it to stop too.

I had an ex cheat on me though online relationships, and once in real life. It was hell.

Answer 2

There is definitely a problem here.

Your husband is keeping secrets from you. He is (at a minimum) involved in fantasy escapism that could become real at any time this women gives him the green light.

What you do about it depends on where you are in your relationship with him. If you feel your relationship has been relatively good, then you need to find a way to talk with him about whats going on with him. Marriage counseling would be a very good choice at this point, assuming not too much secret betrayal (e.g. an affair) has happened yet. It may seem expensive, but considering the cost of a broken marriage it may not be in the long run.

But if things have already gotten out of hand and he has fundamentally violated your trust in him, or your relationship is already not too good, this could be a moment of truth for you. In all cases, you need to get to a meeting of the minds with him. Ignored problems do not go away, they only grow larger.

Caution - if you confront him over this without professional help, chances are his behavior will not change, only his amount of secrecy around it.

If your husband is not happy in your marriage, you may have to accept that you may need to grow and change some, along with him. A counselor will help you both sort these issues out without allowing world war III to start.

If you forget everything else, please remember this: kindness and friendship is the glue that binds relationships together. I know you are angry with him, but if you express your anger forcefully you will only drive him further away from you. Be the person he loved when he married you. It will give him a reason to hesitate before trashing your marriage. I wish you good luck!

Answer 3

I'd say that is enough proof! And you can do so much better. You are pregnant with his child he should be treating you like the queen your are not making excuses not to come to bed and if he isn't even kissing you anymore when you have sex I'd say there is something wrong. Who knows if he isn't technically cheating but verbally somehow it seems that he is. Calling her hotty and staying up all hours, texting and sending emails? This is how some online relationships start as strange as those relationships seem. Did he say he has feelings for her? Does he say that you are overeacting and that he still loves you or has he done nothing to convince you otherwise? Because it is fine for him to have someone that he can talk to in fact it's great but he should be able to talk to his wife first and about anything and everything. I hope this helps. Good luck to you for your sake I hope they are just friends but you need to ask more questions and get to the bottom of this. Do not let him get out of this until you know for sure what is going on!

Answer 4

This is an emotional affair.
It is taking away time, energy, and love from your marriage- thus, it is bad.

You need to tell him this.
Tell him that this is hurting your marriage, that it is hurting you. Try not to be angry, so he does not get focused on that, but what you are saying with all honesty and hurt.

Explain that you miss being called those loving names, that you want to have that relationship with him. That if he is unwilling to be that man for you, and for another woman instead, that you will not tolerate it. You deserve better.

Deep down, he loves you still.
He is meerly distracted by this new woman in his life.
You need to let him know that you are more inportant than that, and he needs to act like it. That he can choose his priority, but that if it is not you, then your marriage is being damaged everday he behaves this way.

Ask him if he would care if you did the same thing?
If you made friends, didn't come to bed, shared your secrets, talked on the phone, and lovingly talked to someone else- INSTEAD of him?!?!

He needs to gain perspective, your anger is understandable and justified, but it's not helping the situation. He will only get angry too, and end up talking to her about you. That is a very dangerous situation.

She is not stupid, she knows what she's doing and she has no remorse. Regardless of her being married also, she is wanting and TAKING the attention of your husband for herself and away from you. She may be just interested in having fun interent flirting, and nothing more- but it is still destructive and harmfull, therefore wrong.

Answer 5

First of all just because she says she is a physiologist does not really mean she is. She could be lying. You need to realize that most of the talk is just fantasy. At least he is showing you what he is writing and not trying to hide it from you. I would be worried that he is enjoying a sexual conversation with this women if he is not going to bed with you and staying up so late. Well this is all up to you. If you do not like him chatting on here you can do three things. 1. Tell him to either stop chatting with this other woman or you are kicking him out or going to leave. 2. Start talking to men on the Internet and see how he likes it. 3. Suggest to him to go to marriage counseling so you two can find the love you once shared with one another.

Answer 6

First of all: calm down. breathe deeply 5 times before you start to think about it all.
I think you have reasons enough to feel suspicious. The question here is: do you love him? Do you want your marriege to go on and last? Would you be able to forgive him if he really cheated on you?
If the answer is yes is time to change strategy because the way you´re acting will only get things worse. Sit with him and talk , don´t scream, don´t fight. But be serious. Tell him what you accept and what you don´t , and that from now on you want him to stop seeing this person, that you want him to be around and stay with you and your kids. Don´t give him alternatives about it, he´s married, you´re pregnant and that´s your life and your house, believe on yourself and put a bit of order in this mess!
But remember:act like a lady, no screaming around, no man can stand a shouting wife, is the closest thing to hell!
If you´re not able to forgive him then is time to make other decisions. But you´re the only one to know what you feel. Don´t be afraid to fight for your home and your marriage, but do it in a smart way, remember: older woman are smarter and she can manipulate him more easily if she wants to, but it doesn´t mean you are not smart enough to fight for your life. Just do it with class and selfsteem, it will work!

Answer 7

I'd tell him you want him to stop immediately - sometimes these things start off innocently enough and people just get carried away. I'd also send her a message letting her know he's a married man with kids and she is adversely affecting his kids. Is she married? If so, how does her husband feel about it? Let her know you'll call him next time. Either you can give up on your marriage or fight to keep it. You've got kids, you owe it to them to fight for your marriage first. Try these sites.

Answer 8

even if there is no physical infidelity here, it certainly seems like there has been emotional infidelity going on. And that is just as bad. He sounds like he is making excuses...and that is all they are :excuses.
No platonic friend is going to be sending cards saying i miss you sweetie, honey, etc... it is a rude and harsh thing to be faced with. Be strong, you are not going crazy, it's not all in your head... you have the proof, now you just have to decide what you want to do about it.
Good luck... and know that you deserve more than lame excuses .

Answer 9

Well no wonder he wants to talk to someone else, you are jsut being an overreacting b*tch. Sorry to make it sound so blunt, but you are. You are not secure in your marriage and you are not loving him like a man should be loved. So what talked on the phone. Do you have male friends you talk to on the phone? (i'm sure you do) And maybe they have a common insterest that you two j ust dont share, like gaming. Stop being so mean to your husband and try being NICE instead of b*tchy. I promise that once you start thinking loving things toward him, doing loving things, and being sweet and nice, he'll start doing the same to you.

Remember the phrase "do unto others as you would have done unto you?" Well, by being mean, accusing and spitful to him, he is turing away from you. Like when you hold an animal to long, and try to make it love you, it will run the first chance it gets (and usualy that goes down with alot of scratchs and bites!)

So, stop accusing him of cheating, because he's not. Since the emails you read are of simple friendship or condolence and be nice to your husband. The meaner, nastier, b*tchier you are, the farther he is going to run from you....remember that..

Answer 10

when someone else is in your marriage, he will find fault with u, and u will feel as if he has disconnected from u. he will not act like the same man, because he is getting involved or already involved with her. of course he can't share with u, he is doing a bad thing. his life is not the same as it once was, he doesn't want the same things anymore, his marriage is suffering. i would make him leave, as there is nothing u can do to stop the affair.