My fiance and his daughter and our daughter moved in with my family, and we are not allowed to sleep together. It's not like we'd do anything in my parents house and not like I can anyway (1 month old daughter). It's like my mom is forcing us to get married just to have a piece of paper to make things right. We already have a daughter together...we consider ourselves pretty much married(living together for 9 months), so is it really neccessary to just get a peice of paper so we can sleep in the same room again? What would you do in this case?
2007-02-21 15:30:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well this is bigger than your mom and really has nothing to do with her. I think your mom is just helping you to realize something that you've probably already thought about which is making your relationship with you fiance a true commitment. Since you two have been living together for so long I would question well why haven't we gotten married yet. If you truly love him and he loves you then you should get married. Being married and just living together are two different things. Your daughter is a blessing but she isn't going to keep you two together unless you two love one another. So in this case I would decide if this is my soulmate and if he is than the two of you should get married. If on the other hand you decide you prefer things the way they are than you should try to get your own place.
Hope I've helped!
2007-02-21 15:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by Queen K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YUP, her house her rules..... having a child does NOT change those facts..... the fact she has given all you ppl a place to stay and live and food to eat says a lot about the kind of woman MOM is, SPECIAL !!!! She deserves all the RESPECT you can give and MORE !!!!! That peice of paper you so willy nilly throw about is important to her and to a lot of ppl, more than you think, and the reason that America is falling into decay is the fact, and I am NOT judging you, but here is the truth, to many of you young ppl have babies before you sign that peice of paper, there for you are leaving yourselves and those babies wide open to TROUBLE, in LOTS of ways.... you or dad can just walk out, not look back and move on to the next mate...... I'll stop right here, I get worked up over this kind of thing !!! bottom line RESPECT you MOM.... God bless
2007-02-21 23:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get married to make it right, not because that your parents want it that way, because it is the right thing to do and because you two love each other. Being married is being committed, being as 'one'. Living together is called 'shacking up' and that is not the same as being married. It is not just a piece of paper when two people that love each other, it is something more than that. It is being as one and being bonded with each other, it is a contract that can NEVER be broken. It is a contract with God. If you have moral values, and that's what your parents want.
So don't look at marriage just being a piece of paper, because it is more than that. It is the 'oneness' in marriage with two people who love and respect each other.
I think if you two really respected each other, you would have gotten married. Not only that, but to make it right and to set that good example to your kids. Husband and wife as 'one', not two.
Best wishes in your marriage. (smile)
2007-02-21 23:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God Bless your Mom, all she wants is to have you be married. Don't ever think it is just a piece of paper being married. It is the most magnificent showing of love in this world. It means you both love each other enough to be "as one". Being married is when a man loves you and wants to share his name with you, wants to make you be his own. Being able to say " My Husband" or "My wife". Marriage is saying " I love you " in the best way ever. You two not being married..... what does that say to your child? Isn't the little thing worthy of having a real whole family. Especially, because you have a child. You should be married.
2007-02-22 00:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by Dollydoright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move out, as long as you live with your family you got to live by their rules unless you make some kind of agreement but the best thing to do is to be in your own is not fair but what can you do. or maybe talk to your family and make them understand that this is 2007 and to let you make your own decisions after all you already did, you have a baby and that gives you and your fiance the best reason to want to love each other, ask your family what is so wrong about that?
good luck
2007-02-21 23:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by aranda1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move out of the house and get your own place. So, you can do what you want. Otherwise deal with your Mom's rules until you move out. No, one should make you get married if you really don't want to. Back in the days when you are soppose to date, get married and then kids. Now a days it doesn't happen that way at times.
2007-02-21 23:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom is big on being married then you have to respect her house.If you two have a child and love each other why not reap the benefits and get married .You have that extra security of a commitment .People think that because you get married you are not the same.Yes ,in some aspects you do have to change some stuff but you are still the same person.Don't get married because it's being forced on you,get married because you truly want to.
2007-02-21 23:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by TRUTH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have the respect for your parents. If it's only a piece of paper than why don't you make it legal? 9 months is nothing yet to prove to your parents that you'll get married, so they are looking out for you too. If you can't handle it then get your own place.
2007-02-21 23:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by RJsGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live in your parents house. You must respect their rules.
They didn't have to let this young man move in with them, remember that. This is their home, which they bought and pay (paid) for. They pay the heat, electric, water, sewage, and trash. I bet they probably contribute to the food that goes into your stomach and out your butt too.
Have some respect for thier wishes, and do as they want. If you don't want to be married, then why is he there? If you do want to be married, make it official, since you already consider yourself married anyway. Whats the problem there?
2007-02-21 23:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by royalpainshane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's just a piece of paper, why do you bother to call him/her a fiance? Just keep on doing the great work you are doing, the world is going to become a better place.
2007-02-21 23:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by kook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋