too shy becoming a problem?

Question

im an incredibaly shy person and i think affects my social life. ive always been shy but very outgoing around people i know fairly well. its kind of annoying since when i talk to someone new my face will turn red and theres not much i can do about it. also the problem seems to be getting worse when speaking to a group of people. in class today i had to present some stuff i thought was interesting or "cool" and i felt like a shaking chihuahua. i dont have too many friends since most of my friends were very religious and i became very non-religious. (this is not an attack on religion...just explaining my situation). is that part of affecting me to become more social?? anyway to get it better? i try to speak to more people....but its not very easy...

to travis H:

your an idiot. nothings more annoying then cocky boys.

Answer 1

well first off don't do the med bit that someone suggested as that is a flimsy base to build upon meaning if the meds stop coming then how are you to be independent if you haven't learned to do so. the best way to go about this is to transfer what you do with your small group to a larger scale. yes that sounds easier said than done and it is. to build a solid habit, so that you can easily talk to others in large crowds takes time. it's not as easy as a pill pop, but it is stronger and longer lasting.

so yeah, you have to utilize the tactics that you use when talking in small groups. apply those to by willfully putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and making them comfortable for yourself i.e. using the tactics to get talking to people. ask questions, breath at a steady pace, and just in general talk, talk, talk, speak you mind.

overall, i'm not too sure if it works for others but this tactic has worked for me as i have the exact experience (minus the red face). it's hard to make friends so i convinced myself that i prefer quality than quantity, which makes sense. i was nervous when speaking in front of crowds and still am but for a project, repetition helps a lot and speaking casually as well instead of trying to impress others. keep things simple and you'd be fine.

Answer 2

Well, first of all, don't panic. You're not alone. Tons of people feel insecure about talking to people or giving presentations. If it isn't quite your thing, it's all right.

To answer your second question, it could be a contributing factor if you and your more religious friends move in different circles or lifestyles now and don't hang out very often.

How to get better?
Well, first of all, don't give up trying to be sociable.
Second and far more effective, see if you can find out why you're shy.
If it's natural, don't worry about it. Some people just aren't as outgoing. You can condition yourself to just be sociable.
If it's downright paralyzing fear, then you might want to find out why and deal with it. If it's really serious, it will affect you in ways you won't like. (Of course, this is ONLY if it's really serious, don't panic.)

Above all, know that though you may not be that gifted socially, you are still a unique and special individual with talents and capabilities no one else has. As long as you're you, you bring your own special flavor to the table.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

I'm the same way. I've always been shy and I don't make friends easily to begin with and I'm just not an outgoing person. Unfortunately, that's just not my personality. I hate being this way, though because I really do want to make friends, but I just don't know how or what to say, etc. It's so frustrating!

Answer 4

I had this problem in high school and college. I completely sympathize with you. Now, I teach music classes and sing in front of 20+ people at a time. You will overcome it!

I found that the key to feeling comfortable speaking in front of people is to speak about something you feel passionately about. I started out teaching exercise classes and then giving lectures on health and fitness... it was my specialty and I was confident talking about it.

Find something that you are a natural at.... something that people ask your advice about. Find ways to get in front of people talking about that topic. When you feel like you're an expert about something, it's easier to have confidence talking to others about it. Good luck.

Answer 5

OMG i have the same problem!!!!!! When I give a speech in class i can very easliy act like im not shy. But my face turns red and it makes it impossible to act like im not nervious. I have learned how to talk to new people through practice but i still cant give speechs infront of large groups without freaking out.

Answer 6

aaawww dehbee, too cute when you said you were a shaking chihuahua. To overcome your shyness, you need to take it to your own hands and challenge yourself step by step. Don't take a big leap, it will really scare you, so I would suggest take baby step.

Every weekend, try to challenge yourself. Try to find a club that meets every weekend for you to interact, it could be anything , like a hobby club or anything that interest you and talk to people about those things and slowly, you'll build your confidence and you'll be find. (p.s. that's why it's called "building your confidence" it takes time and it takes lots of practice to get used to it

Answer 7

You have social anxiety, quite common actually. Things may get better but if they don't it is usually because of low self confidence. There are also meds that help you cope. See a shrink if you feel it bothers you to much. Good luck.

Answer 8

I to am like you I do not have many friends because I am too scared to talk to people and do not know how to keep a conversation going.

Answer 9

Your having anxiety attacks is what this sounds like - And you seem to want to please everyone else and it's overwhelming you - And very normal - We all want to be perfect and I feel like you feel like you have to be - Go to your Family Doctor and tell them like you told us - Good - Luck to you - And please know you are not alone with this -

Answer 10

Easy, schmeezy. Just go for it. What have you got to lose?