Why do people in leadership positions verbally attack and bully others and why do other people go along ?

Question

There is a girl who is in my acedemic department who has continually attacked anything I say or ask for the last year. She is now president of the club affiliated with the department and has recently become much worse. For example today she insinuated that i had no life and would get hired after graduateion, was on acedemic probation, had lower then a 3.0 gpa, and that i never turned my work in. None of the above things are even remotely true but she got someone whom I thought was a freind to agree with her. Anything I say or ask someone she will crittisize and try to make me appear idiotic for saying or asking. She also gets hysterical sometimes when i ask her something. FOr example we had to work on a in class question for the professor. I told her my opinion and when i asked her's she went nuts telling me she was not a proffesional in this feild so how would she know and how could I ask her... I have seen her attack a few others and even kick someone for no reason. why do this

Answer 1

You're describing a very insecure person.

I still find it hard not to take personally some of the comments I receive but I'm getting stronger. I keep telling myself that this or that person is really just doing their thing.

In your case this person is projecting all their fears onto you so powerfully that you feel it. She sees her fears reflected in you and blames you for how she feels rather than taking responsibility for herself.

Try to accept her problems as hers and not yours. Don't allow yourself to be caught up in her emotional struggles. Remember you have standards and values of your own that serve you well and make you strong.

Remember also that you cannot take responsibility for her behavior. If she cannot control herself she can only be a leader among similar people. I doubt that includes you. Hidden under the surface of this situation is a wonderful opportunity for you to grow.

Answer 2

I think that in your final paragraph you revealed the truth of the situation: She said that she is not a professional; that revealing assessment seems fairly clear to me having read your entire complaint. My deduction: She realizes that she has obvious shortcomings and is therefore quite insecure in her position as your academic leader. She has apparently also had no training or education relating to dealing with subordinates from a supervisory role, if, in fact, that is her relationship to you. She should NOT be making derogatory personal remarks to you or be criticizing you in unfair and unkind terms, nor should she be discussing private matters concerning you with other students, and if she is not your professor or instructor, she should not be judging your work or commenting upon your future potential. Surely she must have a superior who supervises her; if I were you, I would try to discuss her treatment of you with that person. You have every right to be treated with respect and civility regardless of your position in the hierarchy. Good luck.

Answer 3

it's an easy way to take the attention off of themselves. It also, in their minds, makes them look better by belittling everyone around them. They are the only tree left standing in their mind. Keep your cool and chose your battles. You can reverse the whole scenerio if you chose to.

Answer 4

Sounds like another rich, priviledged brat whom always gets her
way. Of course Donald trump is about the same way except he
simpley tells them, "YOUR FIRED".

Answer 5

Birds of a feather flock together.

Answer 6

It is a control issue.

Answer 7

she is not a leader....just a common bully