My wife and I are separating, we never were able to communicate very well together, something that has gotten better since the break, and my wife said she loves me but she is not in love with me. I told her that she was the love of my life and I didn't want to lose her. She had met someone else and she was really starting to like him, they even told each other that they love each other. Tonight after seeing him my wife didn't seem like herself so I asked her what was wrong. She wouldn't tell me at first but she finally said that she told her friend that she didn't want to see him anymore, that things were going too fast and she isn't ready for that. She then asked me to leave, I work graveyard shift so I had to leave soon anyway. What should I do? Should I leave her alone for a few days and just be there in case she wants to talk? I really love her and I want her to be happy, and she was happy with the guy she was seeing. But I want to be the one who makes her happy like that.
2007-02-21 14:48:14 · 9 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried to get her to go to counseling with me before but she said she didn't think it would work.
2007-02-21 16:21:14 · update #1
I think it would be best for both of you if you told her that you'd be there if she needed someone to talk to. I just have the feeling if you keep pushing the issue of how much you want her back, it will push her away. I bet if you look closely at what drew her to the other guy. You'd see it was the fact he was just there when she needed him. He wasn't trying to push anything on her. It made her feel in control. Now that he loves her and probably wants to have a serious relationship she feels out of control. She loves you had has feelings for this guy too. If played the right way her feelings could swing in your favor. Be close but not too close. Listen but don't give any negative advise. Better yet try to answer any of her questions with questions. Like if she says what do you think I should do. Say "what do you think your options are right now"?. Or "you have to do what feels the best for you right now". Try not to give her any real straight answers that could change her mind about either one of you men. This will leave her mind swimming with possibilities about you and him. Now you will be him and he will be you. Do you see what I mean?
2007-02-21 15:08:39 · answer #1 · answered by quel772o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Affairs of the heart are always hard and they hurt like hell. Yes, you should leave her alone for a few days. It seems that right now she is confused and doesn't even know what she really wants. If in the event she chooses to be with that other guy; it's going to be hard but you have to try and accept it. It really feels unfair when you love someone and you want to be their everything and they want someone else. Just take it one day at a time. It sounds unbelievable but one day you will be alright.
2007-02-21 22:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by jazzies0412 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest marital counseling. Even if she won't go, you go. I would give her a few days and then I'd ask her if we could talk. Be honest and let her know how you want to try to make the marriage work and that you want a secure future with her. If she agrees, hopefully she will go to counseling with you. If she feels that she does not want to reunite, then counseling will help you to let go and find the love that you deserve. Believe me, there are plenty of women out there that would love to be in a loving relationship. Good luck!
2007-02-21 22:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by Snobunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman needs some space.Just let her know you're there for her and leave her alone.I'm sure she will make the right decision when the time comes.If it was meant to be with you,you will be the first person she will tell.
2007-02-21 22:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by funfun32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fight for her!! She thinks its moving to fast because she seems to have mixed feelings about what to do with you. You need to be a supportive friend now and show her that you can make it work. Its worth a shot to keep you marriage alive. Good luck
2007-02-21 22:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by aysha a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want her to be happy, just let her do whatever she desires and you stay in the background. Oh I should I say you just be her door mat. She is such a spoil brat!
2007-02-21 22:53:34 · answer #6 · answered by h2o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest couples counseling with her. Maybe she will go with you?
2007-02-21 22:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY EVERYTHING to make it work. Get to therapy immediately. Its so refreshing to hear a guy say he wants to make it work.
2007-02-21 22:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her time but not to long then she my go back to the new guy.
2007-02-21 22:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋