i've loved her since highschool, and vise versa. We never acted on our feelings until we were in our early twenties. We both believe we are each other's soul mate. But when she falls off the wagon i feel hopeless that we could really have a good life together. Sometimes I feel like I deserve better. It's hard for me to stay strong. How long do i hang in. She's going to counseling. Should I?
2007-02-21 14:07:54 · 14 answers · asked by G money 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No demand upon a friend is as urgent as the call of sickness and sorrow. Your friend needs you at this time,please try to help her.Get the book The Power Of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale read it and do what it says. I which you and your girldfriend Gods Blessing.
2007-02-21 15:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by garrygeorgemorris 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what alcoholism can do to a family and there really isn't anything you can do. Sometimes tough love is required, but if she isn't making an effort to get clean then you can't have a proper relationship with her. Give her an ultimatum, either she gets help or you're gone. Perhaps you need some time apart from her while she sobers up or make it clear that you will be there as a friend during this time and nothing more. Alcoholics are masters of emotional blackmail, so don't let yourself be used and remember that only she can help herself.
2007-02-21 14:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big question is this -- is she going to truly get help because she believes she needs it and she WANTS it or is it because YOU believe she needs it? If she is getting help because she wants to, then I would stick with it. If you are her only reason for being sober, then you are going to have a GREAT deal of problems down the road.
What happens if you have a fight (everyone does)? Would she turn to drinking because you are angry at her? What happens if you were out of town? You see, she needs to be her own reason for getting help. Support her as much as you can, but if you cannot, do not feel horrible about it. Suggest going to an inpatient center if it's very bad. And, while she is doing that, you could take a small break with the understanding that you are not seeing other people, just waiting for her to get better.
Amanda
2007-02-21 14:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No easy answers here, I'm sure. Is she in AA? If you feel that she's really trying and really worth it, why don't you give it some time. Al-Anon might help too-it's for loved ones of alcoholics. Talking to people who really know what you're going through can be a great help.
If she falls off the wagon time and time again, the time might come for you, painful as it will be, to save yourself. Good luck to you.
2007-02-21 14:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by gtravels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak from experience.. If you love someone it is always hard to let them go but if you are unhappy in the process then my dear you need to think about yourself in that case. I know that sounds selfish but you are the only one that is going to take care of you!!! If you have not already sit her down and tell her that she has to want to get better for her and no one else! Yes to show that she loves you but to also love herself! When she is on a binge she is not really thinking about you as much. So you need to tell her how that makes you feel and if she truly loves you she will never stop trying. I wish I could be more helpful but all I know is that when you love some one you will go to the end of the earth to try to help them but they have to want it to! i wish you both the best!
2007-02-22 05:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should they have a 12 step program just for people that are significant others of alcohlics its called alanon.www.al-anon.alateen.org Is the website go to some meetings get involved and get some help yourself alcoholism is a family disease. The website can give you a 1-800 number or meetings in your area
2007-02-21 14:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by jchas64651 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl.........I feel you pain. I am in the same boat! As we speak-I am at work and my girl is getting drunk at home. i get off in an hour...yea...It is really hard to deal with,espically when it's a loved one. My girl has been to rehab and all that,but I truly belive that it's an illness and the only way to make it go away is for the alcholic to be ready to give it up. You can;t let them say"oh I'll only drink 5 beers",cuz it'll never happen. The more they drink-the less they are able to make a good decision. I know it's hard. I can't really tell you what to do,cuz i still don't know what to do with my girlfriend. Email me if you want to talk about it-maybe we could help each other help our girlfriends.=}
2007-02-21 14:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by sexygal8321 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At least she's trying to overcome it. Few people with substance dependence kick it after one try. Many relapse and have to try again. Just because she falls off the wagon it's never hopeless. The decision to stay is totally up to you.
2007-02-21 23:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, she will love you even without a lager abdomen. She is already properly conscious you're heavily defficient in some needed organs of male anatomy, and which you be stricken by *zerkalnitsa*, this is in simple terms her kindness and attractiveness, prevalent of Buddhists, which makes her love you. Did you tell her approximately your *hobby* for molesting hamsters ? in line with hazard they are extra ideal on your sexual proclivities, anatomy, and talents.
2016-10-16 05:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by lipton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. go to counselling. She seems to be making an effort here to help herself...go so that you can find out how to help her and you and your relationship.
2007-02-21 14:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋