Married and Lonley?

Question

So I am 24 years old and I have been married for almost 2 years to a guy I have dated on and off for about 10 years. He wont let me go out for girls night or even go out with me unless it is quick and not crowded. He litterally plays video games 8 hours a day when he gets home from work. We fight constantly over any and everything. I have tried not fighting and he just says mean and hurtful things to me.Some times the fights get physical on both sides. I think I love him but its starting to fade away. Please if you have any advise or web sites that may help let me know. Thanks

Please keep in mind I work full time and go to school (online at home) full time. I cook and clean when I can and do everything for him. It doesnt matter he will say thanks babe and go back downstairs.

Answer 1

Your love is just starting to fade? Good gravy.....you are 24 move on young lady.....trust a old fart....life is Wayyyyy to dam short to live like this. Move on and find someone who loves YOU....for who YOU are...and someone you can laugh and cry with...a FRIEND....and a REAL Partner....who you can talk to about ANYTHING and NOT be judged or ridiculed....but instead be supported.
Best of luck to you

Answer 2

for sure you both need counseling because he is not happy with you. these games he has used to tune you out. He fights with you because he is angry about something that he doesn't want to talk about. so he would rather not talk to you. if your always fighting then he probably thinks your a nag. The only way to solve this is to stop talking to him. I dont mean complete silence or just for a day. but keep it up for a while until he misses you. make him wonder why you dont talk to the point he becomes concerned. cry a little even if you must fake it but not too much or he wont want to hear it. its all about balance. Women like more effection than men. men like some effection but less when they hear complaints. I dont know if you are a nag or complain to much but he is playing games more than he should. Why do you let him stop you from going out? Just go. Tell him if he cant stop playing games or see a counselor then you will go out. If he is violent then its time to move on. I dont know if you have money or are religious but christian councelors are usually free

Answer 3

I dare you to try this, yes, you might hate my response, but it's worked for others....Why don't you try showing him a little bit more respect, kindness, affection, support, and most importantly, appreciation. Try this for a while, and I can almost guarantee that his attitude will change. He'll be the same way towards you. You get what you give. Try not nagging him so much, because it does sound like you guys fight a lot...He'll drop the video games once he realizes that he really enjoys spending time with you when you're being a little bit nicer...

I listen to Dr. Laura on a daily basis. Have read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands and The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Great books, harsh, but very insightful and true!

Answer 4

You have invested so much time into being with him and within this relationship....if you feel it would help then catch him when he is in a fair mood and talk to him...tell him you both need to add spice to the relationship....ask him why he doesnt let you go out and why he spend more time with comupter games than you....the key to successful relationships is communication...if you dont communicate your relationship will get to a point where there is only abuse and nothing else...all positives will dissolve...its not easy to get out of a marriage emotionally etc owever if he isnt bothered to make things work then perhaps you should think about making trax away from thisd marriage...you are too young to be in a marriage with no love and respect...you deserve good things and if he isnt giving them to you either you get it out of him one way or the other...and if you cant then perhaps your marriage is over....

i hope things work out for the best with you!

take care

Answer 5

number one, he is abusing you (yeah yeah you hit him too right, so it's also your fault, right? yeah i thought the same thing, but guess what, he was much bigger than me and i couldn't even get a hit in on him and besides i was pregnant. so WRONG it's his fault.) which means you need to get a divorce because he doesn't respect you. secondly, he thinks he controls you by not letting you do anything and guess what? this isn't the 40's anymore. you can do whatever the hell you want, what's he going to do if you go out? hit you? that's why they invented 911. third and most important, believe it or not, you "think" you love him. time to go sweetheart. if you aren't happy you need to move on. take a deep long look at the situation. if you don't see it changing within the next 10 (hell, even 1) year, then leave. because if you don't, it will be like this the rest of your life. and you deserve to be happy, just like everyone else, and you can find someone that will love and respect you.

Answer 6

a guys point of view............shellie............it sounds as if he has lost interrest...maybe not in you but inthe marriage...you find him preoccupied when you need him...he seems to want to argue with you over the least little thing...this isnt good...my wife and i got to where we couldnt stand the sight if eachother some years ago...we seperated for 3 weeks...and while we were apart i noticed that we were getting used to being apart...meaning...she and i were finding out that we didnt need eachother anymore...but you see we talked and we both agreed that this is what was happening...we came to an agreement...at the time we had been married 3 years...that was 19 years ago...we are still married and we havent been seperated since...what you need is an agreement...he needs to put the video games down and concentrate on you...and you need to love him unconditionally...there is something going on here...and you need to find out what...if you 2 want to salvage this marriage, then you need to talk and not fight...if you cant do this, then call it quits...give up...dont try...kapoot....but if you love him tell him...ask him to put the game down and talk to you...if he dont go get a hammer and break that sucker into a million pieces...but dont hit him...the game is not the problem...it is just an outlet...he is hiding behind...do what you have to do to save this marriage...if he dont want to..then throw his azz out, and tell him when he gets his priorities all in a pile to come talk to you...im sorry this sounds so harsh,but sometimes you have to be that way to show someone you love them...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love.......

Answer 7

Go get some counseling. You both need to get a grip on life. There are reasons you fell in love with him and married him. Try to reconnect with those reasons and each other. Maybe a separation would be advised for you both to decide what you want from the future.

Answer 8

only 24? he plays video games all day and expects you not to go out and have fun with the ladies. oh my. what kind of man is this. he's not. he's a boy and you should find a real man that doesnt or barely even plays video games. thats so kiddish tho playing games 8-hours?

Answer 9

I agree wth eharrah1. Ask him if he needs a break from you to be able to appreciate you again. You guys began dating at what fourteen? Maybe you just felt like since you were together so long, you had to get married. Maybe you guys should renegotiate your contracts. Violence is never an answer, escpecially if you guys plan on bringing kids into the picture. Good luck.

Answer 10

You´re trapped. I think you didn´t want to see who he is since the beggining, it´s a bad choice...
I don´t think you can change him and this story about physical fights don´t look very good either.
You´re 24 years old, consider what kind of life you want for the rest of your life and make your decisions, but I don´t think this is the kind of behaviour you should accept:from him, and from yourself. It´s not safe and can lead to bad things.