I got married almost a year ago at 19, now I'm 20. My husband and I have a beautiful 6 month old baby boy. But ever since he was born, things haven't been the same. I feel like I can't be a mom and a good wife at the same time you know? Me and my husband just don't have that "spark" anymore, and we're still so young that I feel like it's too early to be feeling like this! i want it to be like when we were dating again! What do I do? I love being a mom, but it's just like I can't even pay attention to my hubbie anymore. and i feel bad leaving the baby to go anywhere so I don't know what to do. please help! thank you
love, laura
2007-02-21 13:37:31 · 10 answers · asked by lauraalexak 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Granted you are young and you have alot of responsiblity on you with your new baby..congrats I might add..
You have to keep in mind that your husband is still a man and he may find it hard to understand his role now..he knows you as the mom that takes care of the baby but he is not sure where he fits into the picture. I would plan a night for the two of you..your baby is now 6 months so 1 night at grandma's will not hurt..go all out to show your husband that this is important to you. Dress up and fix your hair..spend the night as a married couple instead of new parents..lol Have fun and try to find some couple time after the baby is asleep also.
2007-02-21 14:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you what the problem is he is feeling neglected its always the baby who gets the attention. And I am not putting you down I am a mother also and its hard to ignore a babys needs and wants but you also need to make your husband feel needed and wanted. Everyday when you see your husband even if its briefly before he goes to work say I love you and give him a big smooch. When he comes home ask him about his day and fix him a nice hot meal. Then at night go from a mom to a hot momma and show him how much you desire him he needs to feel like a man and needs to know you still desire him. If you have someone you can really trust w/ your baby get them to babysit every now and then I know its hard to be a way but your husband needs you your so busy being a mom that he feels not wanted. You are still young having kids doesnt mean that things have to sizzle in a marriage. Kids help fulfill a marriage but you need to let your husband know and feel desirable. I hoped I helped and good luck to you.
2007-02-21 13:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All wives feel like you do once children come on the scene. My husband & I have been together for 20 years the way we kept the spark going we have a date once a week. Just us NO children. My suggestion find a babysitter (mums are great with grandchildren and even have them overnight). We also spend time talking when kids are asleep. Another thing I found works wonders be always be thankful for your hubby and the things he does. Keep a diary and write down why you are grateful for him. Improves lovelife.
2007-02-21 13:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by ang_23el 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now you have to figure out that your marriage is the most important thing because if you split then not only will you suffer so will your son. second you need to work hard to bring that spark back it don't take a lot of effort but it will take time first try doing something your hubby likes to do turn off the tv play a game talk take a bubble bath together there are a lot of book on how to bring that spark back but whatever you do don't give up I wish you luck and have fun with it
2007-02-21 13:47:14 · answer #4 · answered by wolftv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you need to do is to try and manage your time otherwise i would be complaining the same way with my job, school and my husband. Managing time I must tell you there would be things that you would have to give up as a woman. The only way I could tell you to renew the spark in your relationship is to add romance into it. If you don't I am warning you some other woman would gladly do it for you.
2007-02-21 14:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a 6 mth old is a handful!!!! i no wade it out a bit til he,s old enuff to have a sitter and then u wont worry as much about him then you will start to have a good time again it,s just a part of life that u go through being a mom or a dad think of it like this baby steps it will get better just bare with it
2007-02-21 13:44:32 · answer #6 · answered by da8man2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be a good mom and a good wife you have to separate the two................When your husband is home act like a woman who is in love and when you are taking care of baby give it all you have got......but always take care of yourself........No guy wants a woman who looks like a mom but he likes you to act like one when it is the baby's turn............What I really want to say is you have two roles to play..........it can be fun
2007-02-21 13:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by ginny3282 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date night. You need a date night at least once a month.
2007-02-21 13:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by jeffrey_tobin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was 21 i had my first child i was happy with my baby you don't sound happy with your baby boy i showed my baby to everyone why don't you leave him with your mother if shes near and go out with your husband it might help you
2007-02-24 13:01:56 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋