Why are women caught up on a man's age? Does it matter?

Question

I've been in love for over a year, deeply, with a woman I work with...It's only been a few days since I drummed up enough courage and finally told her how I felt, face to face. She's interested, but is scared (so she says) because of the age difference..."what will happen when I lose my looks?" she told me....she thinks she's old at 33 and Im 24. I don't see the problem but maybe some of you women on here can shed some light on this problem and maybe how i should deeal with it. thanks

Answer 1

I am 21 and my husband is 35. I think it might not just be women who are hung up on age. When I met my husband, I was 18 and he was 32, he was the one who was concerned with our relationship. It s just insecurity. Try to make her feel good about herself always.

Answer 2

Ok, I can speak from experience. When I was younger, 28 - 32, I was dating younger men. These men were 21, and the other was 20. Ok, I dated each one (separately of course), for a couple of years. I loved it! I felt like it really kept me young - and it did! I was really happy. I was with men who could actually keep up with my energy levels!! It was great. But as I got a little older, and after these relationships ended, (they ended on good terms, but we had some differences that we decided best not to mess with), anyway, and as time went on, I began to wonder if it would be in my best interest to continue dating younger men. I didn't date for a while after these two, because I was a single mom and decided to focus all my attention on the last few years of having my kids at home before they go to college, etc. So I did. But, later, after the kids went off to college and so on, I began dating again. This time I was 38, or 39. I realized that at that point in my life, it probably wasn't in my best interest to date a younger guy. This is why: I started thinking about how nice it would be, but then I looked into the not so far off future....and I really didn't like what I saw... I realized that when I am like 50, and say my boyfriend is around 40, or even anywhere from 35 - 30, I will be so much older than the women his age. It would be very difficult to go out with him and have someone ask if his "mother" would like to go to? I mean, the thing is, is that women don't always age as well as men do, (Damn - it!), but I don't want to have to worry about that. So, in light of that, my tastes began to change and I began finding myself being interested in men my own age, or so. Not younger, my age or older. And I find that this is working for me now. Well, thats it - But remember, that is only ME, it cerainly doesn't mean that she will feel this way at all. Just a different perspective. Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

When the guy is older than the woman, it isn't usually a big deal...to the men or women. But when the guy is younger than the woman the issues are more social than anything else. Use Demi and Ashton as an example. Look at all the press they got BECAUSE of the age difference. My problem with younger guys is that they are pushy and gotta have what they want WHEN they want. I have had guys repeatedly tell me "age is just a number". It's more than just a number. Younger guys are too into themselves and making themselves happy, and older guys are all about pleasing a woman because it makes them happy to know their woman is happy.

Answer 4

Oh, poor you! You got totally sucked into the wicked world of female socialization. First of all, this is her issue and from the sounds of it will be for many years to come. Next, be sure that she's telling the truth about her hesitation to get involved with you. Because the vast majority of married couples (universally!) show an average age difference of 2.99 yrs, she may be concerned with what others think. Try to approach this situation by appealing to her critical thinking side and dropping some lines about how "society is so caught up in appearances" or how "things are changing in terms of older woman/younger man dynamics" and how it would be so fulfilling to be part of the revolution. Good luck!

Answer 5

About seven years ago a man I saw this beautiful man. He had this smile that just lit up the room. I walked over and introduced myself. About a year later, when we decided to move in together, I was cleaning out his closet(making room, not being nosy) I found an old drivers license and realized that the man I had been with for a year was TEN years older than me. I had never thought to ask. He, however, knew and had purposely never said anything. He was afraid that I would have been scared off. Needless to say, it's six years later and here we are. Two peas in the same pod. I have never felt so secure in my life, and am looking forward to growing old with him. Let her know, however, if I was single, being 34 myself, and a 24 year old guy wanted a date, and he was stable, I would go in a minute. Keep trying, she'll come around. Remind her that you are only asking for a date, and not for her to bear your children just yet. Also let her know that you have been thinking it over for a long time and are prepared for whatever happens.

Answer 6

She's definately not "old" by any means.... This isn't a huge age gap chronologically...but it would depend on the maturity level of both of you.
I'm 37 and wouldn't date a 24 year old (if I were single) because I couldn't imagine he'd enjoy the same lifestyle that I'm interested in. For instance...he may still be into heavy rap music, "clubbing", etc. While I'm more into relaxation or smooth jazz music, BBQ'd chicken on the grill, a nice wine on the deck with good conversation as we enjoy the sunset.

His monetary priority would be putting 22's on his car and mine would be completing a project that would increase the value of our home.

Ask her to be specific...you'll be able to comprehend her reasoning much more clearly.

Answer 7

Just keep assuring her that it doesn't matter. She is going to lose her looks even if you were 33 and she was 24. It is going to happen whether we want it to or not. Ask her if she would care if you go prematurely bald and develop a beer gut. Chances are she would not care. Assure her, the feelings are the same for you.

Answer 8

It depends on the person. I say a 5 or 8 year age difference is pretty good, when you get to 15/20/30 year age diffenrences you are pushing it.

Answer 9

for some reason I have only dated guys younger than me and now I am single and that may answer your question. I think we feel that younger men can't satisfy us older women. the thing is I think that at her age is starting to look for the man of her life, the father of her childern and she doesn't think that you are the one that can fill that spot she is not gonna wnat to be with you. I bet she feels like she is getting older and she doesn't have that much time left. And it may not have anything to do with you its just the rules she set for herslf that she has to follow if she wants to find the man of her dreams. And you have to respect the fact that she is looking for that (if she is) and if you are not ready to be that person then let it go.

Answer 10

While it is a factor of age it is not her looks she is worried about but your maturity. The difference between 74 and 83 is nothing, but you've been out of college two years and this is probably your first job right. Do you still eat standing over the sink in your apartment, do you have your own apartment? Sorry to rain on your parade. If it goes anywhere don't be surprised when you are the one who ends it because she can't take you as seriously as you take yourself.