we have been married for seven years, and three kids. lets just say our sex life is just plain. i am just not that much into sex , like the initiator, or doing all these styles, but my husband is. at times i just lie there like a dead fish. i believe that he wont cheat on me that he'll accept the way i am with sex. but nowadays how sex can affect a couples lives i'm still wondering if he's gonna do it, and is it my fault?
2007-02-21 13:18:05 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My suggestion is, if you KNOW there is a problem, why not try to do something about it? Get involved in sex...enjoy it...let yourself go! "An ounce of prevention, is worth a pound of cure". If you completely satisfy him, you won't have to worry about whether or not he'll cheat. Why would he?
2007-02-21 13:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am not a man but I think that most men cheat for sex..while women cheat for love or an emotional connection. You would be the only one that can answer this question because you know him better then anyone. Does he seem interested in other women? Do you have any reason to think he would do this? If not then he may be curious but faithful to you..on the other hand he may be tired after 7 years of marriage and three kids..and the same old sex with you..I am not bashing you but you said yourself that you just lay there. I would suggest this..if this is something you are worried about then give him alittle taste of the kinkiness that he wants. This may occupy him for awhile..but I am sure you have heard that you have to keep things spicy in bed so that you dont get bored nor does your partner.Good luck!
2007-02-21 21:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never been married, but I have been in relationships. I have guy friend also. 9 out 10 I think a man will cheat if he can't get it from home. It's seems like men just got to have sex; just like we got too have food. It's your fault because you should do something to make the sex exciting. You keep sitting there like a dead fish another woman going to be all over your man. Go buy something sexy, and do four play on him. Like perform oral sex on him be the aggressor. Try sex counseling. Watch a porn movie together. If you don't want your man to cheat you better do better in bed. He ain't going to jack or masturbate forever.
2007-02-21 21:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Mommy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes! He will cheat just for sex because the other woman will act like she wants it, initiate it, and will do all the "styles". Lying there like a dead fish will only motivate him more to go elsewhere. You will get your wish though, because once he hooks up with the other woman and has fun, exciting sex he won't want any dead fish sex from you. You are foolish to think he accepts the way you are with sex. That's laughable.
2007-02-21 22:41:50 · answer #4 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not knowing anymore about him thats a hard call. Some men actually have morals and just don't cheat. Other men cheat no matter what a lady does to please them in the bedroom. If you are worried then now is the time to change things. Get one or more of the books written by sex experts. If you get more into pleasing your husband( and he has given you no reason to think he cheats, so far) I think your worries would be few.
2007-02-23 00:27:23 · answer #5 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he would for that reason only. My concern is more with a emotional connection or lack of. Not only on his part but yours as well. I feel sorry that you are not able to experience the close feeling as well as the gratification of sex.
I would suggest researching the reason for your low sex drive. If that is "just you", then so be it, and maybe you could discuss your concerns with him. If it is hormonal or emotional, maybe the help of a doctor or counselor could improve your relationship.
You don't mention if this has come over time or if this has always been your preference, but I see you missing out on a wonderful emotional and physical bond between you and your husband.
Talk to him. I'm sure he would want to know of your insecurities.
This way you can help each other. Maybe you can find other ways of reconnecting.
2007-02-21 21:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by jessnbethsmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will cheat just for sex. If you are 'not that into it' he may feel he is lacking in that department and feel the need to prove otherwise. You should pick up a book called 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. You should also look into reviving your sex life - the best place to start is by working on yourself. Exercise, yoga, getting a sitter and spending more 'couples' time with your husband (not necessarily for sex but just to get to know one another again). If your hubby is into things that you are not comfortable with, try to jazz things up in ways that you are comfortable with (dress up, massage oils, sensual baths, etc.). It's not your fault, per say, if he cheats but it doesn't hurt to head that tendency off at the pass.
2007-02-21 21:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by greyrider 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you say and think your husband won't cheat on you .Never think that he wouldn't cheat on you because he would.We wives seem to think that our husbands forget how or lose interest in being with other women. That is why so many husbands get away with cheating. Stop saying not my husband because 90% of all husbands do cheat and they always will.They have been doing it sense the beginning of time so they have perfected it over the years and they protect one another it's called ( the guy code )
2007-02-21 21:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you he will except the fact your not that porn queen that men want us to be. If your comfortable just laying there then whatever works as long as you are both getting satisfied. I am not into like anything kinky myself but I have let a different side of myself come out in the 7 years I have been married. But if you dont want him to lose his sexual desire for you then I would try spicing it up a bit. Buy a sexy night gown and ride him like a bull. Its ok to get a little wild have fun my husband cant handle me have the time but I know that the pleasure he gets from me I dont need to worry. Do what your comfortable with but dont be afraid to be a sassy vixen try it make him want you!!
2007-02-21 21:26:24 · answer #9 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might want to try being more aggressive in bed or at least change positions now and again and act like you love it.
How awful he must feel to have sex with a woman who just lies there. That would be so degrading to me and I am a woman, men take sex very personally and that has to be so degrading and hurtful for him.
I think you are setting the stage for him to leave or cheat. you should get the book "the proper care and feeding of husbands" read it.
2007-02-21 21:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋