I am 16 and my 19 year old boyfriend and I really really want to have a baby?

Question

I know by first seeing this question your thinking that I am crazy and stupid but really...We're in love and I know that my parents would be shocked and somewhat disappointed at first btu in the end they wouldl support me financially and such...What do u guys think abobut this...I am a reasonable person and am thinking about the future like i dont KNOW that i will be with him forever..that can never be guarenteed...but yet i still truly want to be a mother and have his child..what do i do??:)

Answer 1

Hi im 19 and a mum to a beautiful 8 month old baby girl im married and love my family very much. I have always wanted a baby I love kids so when I met my husband we decided to have children young. As much as I love my daughter and would never change her for anything it has been so hard and without my amazing husband I would not have been able to do it. To start with she was 2 weeks early and almost lost her 3 times in a week. She was not feeding well and not putting on alot of weight. She had colic (were baby’s have alot of wind) and reflux (when they always throw up)which means she was a very hard to settle and to look after baby she wouldn’t sleep well at all. I had to put my shirt that I wore for the day in her bed so she thought I was with her. After 2 weeks of breast feeding we had to put her on the bottle that was a good thing coz than my husband could help more which he did. The reason she was early was because I had a life threating problem I had high blood pressure very bad swelling and too much protein in my urine so I had to b induced which was painful. I was induced at 10pm and my waters broke at 3:15am from get go my contractions were 2-3 min apart my labor was 13hours and I wont lie it was very painful but our body’s are made to give birth. Her head got stuck and she had to b sucked out which was scary her heart beat was very low and I didn’t no what was happening than at 4:16pm my beautiful baby girl was placed on my tummy it was such an amazing feeling now as I said she is 9 months old crawling teething and falling over. The reason I have told you my story is to let you no its not all bliss it is such hard work and you really need to think it through b4 you decide to have a baby they are beautiful and cuddly but when your up at 3am trying to put them to sleep they are far from beautiful. Im not tiring to get you to change your mind I just think every teen need to think long and hard about having a baby coz it is so hard but ill tell you the good over does the bad by far. when you are thinking of having a baby really make sure your ready because having a baby and looking after one is going to b the hardest thing you will ever do please sweetie really think long and hard if it was hard for me when I have a husband and have so much support and im about to become a full time student its going to b hard for you im not being mean or anything I just want you to fully understand that being a mum is a full time job I mean 24/7 all day and all night please think hard b4 u make a mistake u will regret

Answer 2

Mariah... If you are even questioning whether you should do this it is not the right decision. It's kind of like the thing your parents should have taught you... If I am questioning whether my skirt is too short or my midriff shirt shows too much midriff - then it does. The question is answered by the fact that you are asking it. Now for some more food for thought. You have things in the wrong order. The point of parenting is to raise a child that can be independent, self-sufficient, self-supporting, responsible, etc. In order to achieve these things and more, a child must have parents (preferably two) who instill these things by their words and actions. It is absolutely a given that you must achieve a certain chronological age to even think that YOU have achieved these things - and therefore can pass them on to a child. Education and experience are a part of achieving these things. Finish high school. Go to college or at least to a tech school. Get a full time job. Get health insurance and a place to live. By then you will be 19-22 years old. And then here is the big shocker. You will have had several more boyfriends by then. And you will have broken up with them - or they with you. What if you had a child with every person you were in "love" with? Would you be able to instill the things (above) that we should instill in our children? Without a father present? Without money, a good job, health insurance, a place to live? AND... between 22 and 28 years of age you will completely change as you become the adult you were meant to be. Lots and lots of divorce or breakups occur when people get married right out of high school or college... because when they finally make their way to their late 20's VOILA... you are two different people. So.... this is about more than wanting to have a baby at 16. It is about you recognizing that the question itself is an indication of your lack of readiness for such a big decision. If you don't care about your life... do think about the life you would be creating when you are so ill prepared based on your age, lack of life experience, inability to support the child, etc. Good luck. Make good decisons.

Answer 3

Don't have a baby at 16! You have so much more life ahead of you! If you have a baby you'll have to give up A LOT of things you want to do. There are girls w/ kids who can't go to prom cause they can't find a baby sitter cause they're all going to prom. What makes U think your parents are going to support you financially. Their obligation is to you, not to your baby. Now, there are parents who will help their kid who has a kid like that...however there are parents who will go as far as kicking their kid(s) out if they have a baby. Besides, shouldn't your 19 yr old boyfriend and yourself be financially responsible?

I know you might be thinking about your future, but there are a lot of unexpected things that will happen between now and the time you graduate high school. You may not feel this way about this guy. He, assuming he's in or going to college, may end up liking another girl from his school. I really think you should wait. What if he bails and your parents are no help? What then?

Talk to some teens who have had babies at a young age. Ask them about how their situation turned out. Talk to teens who have both positive and negative experiences. Try to see if you can get over night babysitting gigs for very young children...or see if someone in your family who has a baby or very young children will let you sleep over and help take care of the baby so you get a feel for what it's like.

Answer 4

Really? And just how do you and your 19 year old boyfriend plan on financially supporting yourselves? I'm sure he's a genius and must make a lot of money. No? So what, are you guys going to live off of welfare? How can you possibly, at this age, financially take care of a baby and yourselves? You really need to think this over. I'm a taxpayer and I don't want to be financially responsible for your bad decision to have a baby right now. Why don't you wait until you and your boyfriend can afford to have a baby. If you two are truly in love, as you say, then it will wait until you can do this on your own with out anybody else's help to make ends meet.

Answer 5

No no no no. Seriously you are way to young.

I at that age wanted a baby too. I am now 20 and thank my lucky stars I never had a child at that age.

You wont be able to get a job, go out, buy things you like, have time for your friends, buy a house any of those things.

If your boyfriend is willing to support 3 people on one wage (assuming he even HAS a job) and that's what you REALLY want then go ahead, I just don't think that's the best idea.

You will have PLENTY of time later on after you have a job and have saved up enough money and you both have stability to bring a needy child into the world.

And do you really want you PARENTS to support you, your boyfriend and a grandchild??? Where do you think they will get all that money from? Babies aren't cheap.

Lots of responsibility for a 16 year old.

Answer 6

i think its great that you love him so much! i also think its great that you're asking this question, because it means that you know it might not be the right thing to do. as i said in another post, being a parent is about doing whats best for your child. now, if you were a little tiny baby waiting to come into this world, and had your choice of any parents out there, would you pick a couple of teenagers who have to rely on family to help financially support you and be living in poverty, with most likely the father running out on you and never paying a dime (even though he SWEARS that will never happen) and having issues of abandonment, or would you pick the nice couple in their mid 20's who've gone to college together, she's a teacher, he's a computer tech, who own a small house and 2 cars to take you to doctor's appointments, who put you in soccer lessons and give you what you need without spoiling you? mom can afford to take her full maternity leave, then decides if they cut back on their spending and sell a car, she can stay home with you until you start school. you seem mature, prove it by doing whats best : )

Answer 7

Your not crazy,I used to feel the same way, its natural because we're women....its pretty much an instinct to feel the need to reproduce and nurture something. but thank god I never went through with it! I know you feel like this is it for you and you want nothing more, well trust me, its not, your young and there are so many opportunities for you to go out and have fun! You have your whole life to make babies, but you only get to be young and free once, DONT waist it. Babies are wonderful and cute but thats not all they are, being a good parent means working for another living thing 24 hours a day. & not to mention all the stress may cause trouble with you and your boyfriend Think about it this way, wouldnt you rather enjoy the experiance of being a mother in your own house with your partner, your own family, and not having to come home to your parents house? I hope this helps...

Answer 8

Hun, your not ready to have a baby yet and be responsible for a little think that depends totally on you.Wait until your his age at least.You need to find the right person first to make sure you and him can and will stick together for a long time through thick and thin and not get a divorce for the sake of the baby.zyou'll know when the right person comes along.If you feel 100% comfortable around him and your positive you can care for a child, you can go right on through with having sex with your boyfriend.Your parents might be dissipointed with you but they will support you afterwards.I think that your ready if you think your ready.You should do what YOU think is the right thing to do.Good Luck and Congratilations!

Answer 9

I would really really think about this.. cause you need to finish school and get a good job and make a home for a child. And to be honest.. you may think that you parents will be there for you and all.. but if they feel betrayed.. they can have your BF arrested for statutory rape and this will ruin his life.. regardless if you say the it was ok. Then why would you want your parents to support YOUR baby.. it is yours.. not theirs. If you are still together after you graduate.. then think about a baby then. Wouldn't be alot easier if you lived in your own place and could do what you wanted, when you wanted and not have to worry about your parents watching over you?? Also.. say that you want to go out on a date with your BF.. somewhere nice.. a movie or to eat out, but you could not find anyone to watch the baby.. that would be no fun at all. I am 33 and about to have my 2nd child and I know that my weekends are about to change BIG TIME.. I am not going to get to come and go like I do now. My other son is 5 and he goes to Pawpaw's on Fridays.. but when this one is born.. it will be hard for my Dad to watch both of them. So I know that it is all about to change. I also know that my son is my responsiblity and I will do whatever it takes. So I suggest holding off as long as you can.. live your life to the fullest, make a good home .. save up alot of money.. then plan a baby. They are not cheap!! You will have to spend over 200 or more a month to raise a child. Diapers, clothes, formula, bottles, doctor visits, this can go on forever.. Good luck and please really think about it.. it is a life changing experience and sometimes it is not always for the best.

Answer 10

think about the future a bit more, and not just your future with him... if you have a baby in nine months, what about school? your parents, no matter how much they love you, probably will not be willing to take care of the baby all the time, every time you want or need to do something else, and school and friends are very important at your age. when you're 28, and don't have a highschool diploma, what is your life going to be like.

also, what's going to happen to your social life? if you want to go hang out with friends, how easy is that going to be with an infant (or a two year old in a couple years) on your hip? consider this... you want to go see a movie with friends, but the baby starts crying in the middle. you want to go to a sleepover, but your child demands more attention than your friends are getting. you just got back from a really hard day at school and you need a nap, or need to study for a big test the next day, but your parents are going out for the evening.. you lay down, or start studying, and five minutes into it, your baby starts crying for something or other and won't stop for the rest of the night... they do that sometimes...

give it a couple years. i wanted a kid at 16. i want one now at 20, but i know that i couldn't have afforded one then, or even now... and it is VERY selfish to expect financial support out of your parents. i'm sure they would help you, but why would you do that to them?

and.. yea, if you got prego right now, he could be charged for rape.. and i don't think that'd go over well with him.