I think he is stressed. I look different obviously, he just bought us a new home, works to support that home, goes to school full time, has a baby coming any day now and has not even breathed on me since November. I feel sorry for him and try to cook and look pretty, keep up the house and have enough money to cover all my own bills and the few extra that are my responability. He rejects me over and over and over, he gives me a kiss everyday but barely touches my lips. I am understanding most of the time but get fed up and worried that he does not like me that way anymore. What kind of marriage will this be with no lovin ever? Maybe the stress and pressure are too much and killed his libido or maybe it is me that turns him cold. What do you think I can do to make him feel good again, any suggestions?
2007-02-21 13:00:45 · 19 answers · asked by I'm her mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most husbands love their pregnant wives.....and show them lots of affection. I don't understand why yours is not. Not saying he is, but could he be having an affair? It's awfully strange for a healthy young man never to want to get intimate, or touch his wife....I hope he's not, but maybe you ought to check it out. Good Luck!
2007-02-21 13:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh geezus -- he's not having an affair.
LOTS of guys, despite what others here will tell you, haven't spent a lot of time around pregnant chicks. Especially naked pregnant chicks who share a bed with them.
He is seeing you change - in a drastic way. He doesn't hate it, but it is new and a little weird and fascinating and a bit odd and he's almost freaked out by how you look right now. More than anything, it's just new and different. He married this slender hottie. Now she's not so slender. He is having a tough time adjusting. You see yourself change every second - he sees you sort of once a day and so it's tougher.
More than anything, he doesn't know how to act around you now that there's another human inside you (*another* weird thought guys can barely handle!).
Add to that the stress of school, job, new house - as Joe Pesci said in 'My Cousin Vinny' -- "Is there any more sh*t we can pile on to the top of this?" It's a lot.
Try 2 things.
[1] Tell him it's conference time. Tell him you know your body changes have weirded him out a bit, and that it's NORMAL to go a little kookie. Ask him how he feels. Give him time to talk. Let him ask ANY question he wants to - can you feel it yet - does it hurt - what's it like - if you just answer and not laugh or scoff or roll your eyes, he'll feel more a part of what is happening.
[2] Then tell him that while he has a license to feel that way, he's kind of gone overboard and you feel sort of rejected and alone. And that's not what he was shooting for making you feel - RIGHT? - and you want to fix that. Suggest going to Borders and picking out a book for expectant dads - then you can read a few pages together every day or every other day, and it will take his nervousness about you way down (can i touch her? will i hurt the baby if i fart when she's around? and so on).
Here's a good one:
http://www.amazon.com/Expect-Expanding-Month-Month-Father/dp/0740767526/sr=8-3/qid=1172111355/ref=pd_bbs_3/103-6211240-0133437?ie=UTF8&s=books
Give him time, show him your belly all the time and have him touch it so he gets used to it (look what we did! yippee!!) , involve him. You might have been around friends or sisters or cousins or whatever and seen a jillion pregnant women - this is first up close and personal. Then bring kissing and stuff back into the mix after a while.
He is dog tired and feeling alienated from you, too. A little nudge and he'll be back in the mix.
2007-02-21 13:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I feel for you. My husband and I had sex in July 2006, conceived, and that's it. So I think I beat you. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant and due in April and my husband hasn't wanted to have sex with me at all! He's a very sweet, sensitive soul and has never had a great libido and so I'm actually trying to get him to go to the Dr for a complete physical. I've tried talking gently to him as well and offering "favours" but nope nothing works. I also have taken care of myself and haven't put on a lot of excess weight and keep myself looking nice and he reckons there is no "reason" for it, he just isn't interested. I think, as with most things, if he doesn't want to you can't force it. As hard as that is to hear, I really don't think anybody's suggestions will work. I probably haven't helped much either. Good luck to you though, I completely understand.
2007-02-21 17:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband go to your next doctor's visit with you and talk to your doctor about it. If the doctor says everything is fine and it's safe to continue with sex, this should ease any tension or uneasy feelings your husband is having. Otherwise you should just be upfront and honest about how you feel to your husband. Ask him if he does find you unsexy or if it's just he's scared of hurting the baby or putting you in labor. Maybe he thinks you don't want sex so he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. If it's not safe to have sex you can still be intimate in other ways to make you feel like you are still sexy to him.
2016-05-24 06:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know first hand how hard its when your wife has a baby i have 5 kids i love them all be sure you let yours husband cut the belly cord communication is the key word in a marriage its dont matter how much money there is youre have a child and every child a bless from God good luck remember the baby is made from both of you
2007-02-21 13:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know thats really frusterating! My fiance has already made it very clear once I start showing he wont want to have sex anymore! He feels that when I start showing it would be really weird and uncomfortable because he knows the baby is there and can hear everything that is going on. Maybe your husband feels the same. My guess it has nothing to do with you...I would say ask him about it and I bet you will find it is his own issues and nothing wrong with you...be patient with him!
2007-02-21 13:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some men don't want to have sex when their wife is pregnant, it's rare but it happens. In my opinion it isn't you, he may have a lot of fears and stress and that can really mess with a mans libido.
2007-02-21 13:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try something to get his engine going, think of what he like and what turns him on whatever it may be. If he's stressed out help him relax but don't be too pushy you want to give him some space. Try these things and think about what you need to do to get what you want
2007-02-21 13:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by tiz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a serious talk w/ him he helped make you pregnant so he needs to deal with it and quit making you feel this way. Being pregnant is suppose to be a proud moment for married couples not time to make you feel like your not important or loved. You dont need to be strssed out its not healthy for you or your baby talk to him and find out whats going on. And congratulations.
2007-02-21 13:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congradulations on your baby! From the sounds of it he is just tired and needs to relax so when baby comes just give it some time I'm pretty sure he still loves you just be patient
2007-02-21 13:05:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋