What you think of this?

Question

This is a story bout what happened to me
sum this $$$$, you wouldnt believe
sat on the bus with the rest of the class
havin a good time havin a blast
were goin on a school trip thats all i could hear
but this would be the worst trip of the whole school year
cos on the bus they gassed us all
the end of the fun, no longer a ball
by the time i woke up I dint know where i was
the whole class kidnapped like a pack of dogs
they told us a tale of yobish behaviour
tried to explain he was britains saviour
we didnt listen we jus tried to run
but then the sick cnut pulled out his gun
bang bang two thru the head
now my best mate lay there dead
he got our attention he got his message accross
he'd taken our freedom, we were at a loss
we all got a pack n a random weapon
I made a pledge my mate wouldnt be forgotten
into the jusgle on the mysterious island
dont make a sound, dont disturb the silence
theres killers out there, their on the prowl
thats the story of my battle royale.

just summet i came up with. Im an MC to scouse house but usually dont make rhymes like that. I think it fair good. What u all think.

if you havent seen Battle Royale you probably would think its a bit daft but its based on that film. Is class film except its in japenese with subs. Thats what they get tho, just a pack and a weapon an off they go........mad init

Answer 1

good rhythm, good imagery
i like it

Answer 2

It's ok, but a little ridiculous you all just got a pack and random weapon and off you went.........thats it!

Answer 3

Hey ur pretty good!

Answer 4

As if i'm gna read all that.

Answer 5

omg i cant believe that

Answer 6

all right